I am glad you found your way to this site.  Please enjoy reading my reflections on this difficult and confusing topic of crossdressing.  The intention of this site is to build a network of resources and a community of people trying to fight their crossdressing addictions together, and giving each other encouragement and advice.  Further, I hope this site helps people to think about crossdressing from a Christian and biblical perspective.  Hopefully this site can help us to understand ourselves better and find healing and forgiveness and freedom in our Lord Jesus Christ.   This issue surely has caused most of us great pain, anguish, and frustration in our private, public, and spiritual lives.

I am not an expert.  I write out of my personal experience, my reading about crossdressing, my faith, and the theological education I have received.  I am a Christian pastor.  I myself struggle with the desire to crossdress and starting this site was one way for me to get support and healing for myself from this addiction while trying to help others at the same time.  In 2011, God gave me great victory over this struggle and I have been going strong ever since, with only a few times of struggle and failure.  You can read more about my story on the “About” page.

Please feel free to comment and discuss even if you disagree with me.  I hold all email addresses with confidentiality, but for those of you who are rightly worried about security and anonymity, it’s easy to make a new email address with anonymous names, which you could do before commenting here.  While the point of this website is to help those who are trying to resist crossdressing, I welcome good comments from anybody even if you think crossdressing is a healthy activity.  I enjoy debating to a point, and will try to discuss with you in a healthy, peaceful way.  Perhaps we can have mutual learning and growth through the discussion.  I have been greatly helped by other bloggers, organizations, and articles which I have posted links to.  But as you comment, please keep in mind the purpose of my site.   I approve each comment individually.  I would rather just have comments completely open, but I have learned to monitor them because of past commenters crossing the line and harassing other commenters.

In some posts I do not make clear nuanced distinctions between crossdressing as a sexual fetish addiction and crossdressing as a result of gender dysphoria/transgenderism, and I have been criticized for doing so.  I am not ignorant to the important distinctions between the two issues.  But when I have not distinguished the two issues within an individual post, it is because my arguments against both issues are largely the same arguments and many posts apply to both issues equally.  There is far more overlap between these two gender issues than most people want to admit.  See this post for my thoughts about terms, labels, and types of crossdressers.

Thank you for being willing to read my thoughts.  If they help you, to God be the glory for what he has done in my life.  I thank him for being willing to use me.  Please comment below if you would like prayer in your struggle and I promise to dedicate time in prayer for you.

If you want some guidance in reading my posts, you can start with what I consider to be my “most important posts.”


314 comments on “Welcome!

  1. thorin25 says:

    AK, I’ll send you an email so you can email me privately.


  2. bigguy says:

    hello I have not crossdress since for around six months now I join the church and I look god heal me from crossdressing


  3. thorin25 says:

    that’s great bigguy! Keep up the good work! I encourage you to keep reading my blog posts and keep dialoguing with us


  4. jon says:

    HI, I wrote in last year concerning my lifelong struggles with cross dressing. I was finally confronted by my wife, who was living in a different state due my job and I was happy that we could work through the issue together. My wife could not or would not support me in my working through my off and on cross dressing throughout our married life. We have been separated for almost 2.5 years and she just filed for a divorce after almost 35 years of marriage stating that my cross dressing was the “straw that broke the camels back”. of course cd issue wasn’t the only thing that contributed to our marriage breaking up but combined with her issues of childhood abuse and a mirriad of other thinksead to our divorce. I appreciate you sticking with your husband through this sin gripping issue of cross dressing. I think it is very important, ateast in my struggle to find people, friends and family to keep you accountable and Love you through this time now and in the future. Second, sound Christian counseling should be found and used. I found and still digging that there underlying issues in your life that contribute to cross dressing. The sooner this areas are revealed and exposed the less Satan can use this in our lives. The Bible tells this true too, that God is light and when our sins are exposed healing can began. Some verses that I keep in arsenal is, Psalm 119: 132 – 133 used throughout my recovery from cross dressing. Verse 133 say, “Direct my footsteps according to your word; let no sin rule over me”. My divorce will still glorify God and built both my wife and I to be more like Jesus. To God be the glory.


  5. Bigguy says:

    I have not dress up in woman’s clothing now since Dec but I steal get the feeling to something help me not to the other day this friend had this nice black I thought I would like to wear that dress before I would go out and by me a dress now I not doing that so the bible and church has help me


  6. thorin25 says:

    That’s great bigguy, well done!


  7. gcdrk says:

    Hi Thorin,

    How are you doing friend??

    Do you remember me?

    I haven’t come here in a while. I am now marching on my third year without CD in my life. I am pretty happy:)


  8. thorin25 says:

    Gcdrk, yes i do indeed remember you! Thanks for checking in once again and giving us the good news. How would you like to write a guest post about your story of giving up crossdressing?


  9. lona says:

    Update: I went away and my husband stayed busy while I was gone so he didn’t give into temptation. So he says. I want to believe him.
    Still struggling with trust.
    We have separate accounts for our talk space counseling.
    We don’t talk about his issue much. I don’t know that we need to. It just feels like we are ignoring it. When i first found out, I thought about it constantly (I still think about it but not so much) and had so many questions.
    We are on vacation as a family now. It makes it impossible for him to act on his CD.
    I really wish he’d come to this site. I think it would be helpful. It isn’t that he doesn’t want to, he just gets busy.
    We are going on dates and living like we did before. I guess as a CD wife I want him to be actively working on it and get fixed asap. I know he’s a work in progress.


  10. thorin25 says:

    It sounds like positive things are happening. And you don’t want to be talking about it constantly as that can just feed it. Allow your husband to focus on other things besides CD, focusing on the important things in life, that is a helpful part of recovery, (as long as he isn’t burying his feelings so that they will explode later). Some day when you are alone together and have free time, you could just take a few minutes to look at this site together to introduce him to it, then he may pick interest and read more on his own another time.


  11. kumarnaveen says:

    It is good for depression people as it explain the disease and helps understnd it well for patient benefit.nv life is goodfor other problem also very helpful


  12. zahdah says:

    Do I make it impossible for my husband to rescue me? He says when I get so angry (triggers), that it’s like I’m shooting flaming arrows, or throwing knives, at him. So then he just has to leave me alone, wait for me to stop being angry, to stop seeing him as the enemy. Then he can rescue me. But the problem with that, is that then I no longer need him to resume me. And then I feel so alone again. That when I needed him the most, it (I) was too hard for him, and he left me. When I’m so angry, probably not very nice, even lashing out at him, I do desperately need him. To let me know that he’s still there for me, that he still loves me, no matter how bad I get.


  13. Ari says:

    Hi Zahdah

    I know how you feel! So I’m going to share from my personal experience.

    Your hubby needs exactly what you need. As you say, when you’re so angry, probably not very nice, even lashing out at him… When you need him most, even he desperately needs you. In his darkest moment and darkest sin he needs you to let him know that you’re still there for him, that you still love him, no matter how bad he gets.

    You see, you’re yearning for Agape in the hardest of times but so is he. The Word says ‘while we were yet sinners Christ died for us’. That’s telling me in my darkest sin, Christ looked upon me with love NOT condemnation and He died for me, He saw me as worth dying for. So, without condemning your hubby in his sin, show him the agape love because that is what saved you, not anger or condemnation. For the bible tells us there is no condemnation for us and that Christ didn’t come to condemn us, He came to set us free. We are saved by grace not anger and condemnation.

    Now, I know the anger because I have been there enough times now. The shut down approach which is possibly just as bad if not worse than lashing out. The anger is far more destructive where love builds. Also, people mirror us. When we love them, they react in love too. When we lash out, they lash out in their own way too. Example, when you’re angry, I think you said for him it’s a trigger. Your anger might be out of stress and fear of the future and his reaction is triggered by the same things, stress and fear.
    When you are angry you would like him to let you know he’s still there and loves you. That’s great, but YOU take the first step and show him love even when you don’t agree with his behaviour. He will respond in love and even if he doesn’t initially, don’t give up because otherwise it looks like you were pretending. You set the tone in your home, whether in anger or in love. It’s your decision which atmosphere will prevail each day.


  14. thorin25 says:

    Zahdah did your husband leave you for good? Your comment wasn’t clear. Ari responded well to your comment so I won’t repeat. Thanks Ari


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