Welcome!

I am glad you found your way to this site.  Please enjoy reading my reflections on this difficult and confusing topic of crossdressing.  The intention of this site is to build a network of resources and a community of people trying to fight their crossdressing addictions together, and giving each other encouragement and advice.  Further, I write to help people think about crossdressing from a Christian and biblical perspective.  Hopefully this site can help us to understand ourselves better and find healing and forgiveness and freedom in our Lord Jesus Christ.   The issues of crossdressing and gender dysphoria surely have caused most of us great pain, anguish, and frustration in our private, public, and spiritual lives.

I am not an expert, but over the years I have worked hard at reading as many articles and books that I can about these issues, even those that I radically disagree with.  I still have much to read and learn.  I write out of my personal experience, my reading about crossdressing, my faith, and the theological education I have received.  I am a Christian pastor.  I myself used to struggle with the desire to crossdress and starting this site was one way for me to get support and healing for myself from this addiction while trying to help others at the same time.  In 2011, God gave me great victory over this struggle and I have been going strong ever since, with only a few times of struggle and failure.  You can read more about my story on the “About” page.  Through this blog a whole community of men have come together and given up their crossdressing addictions.  Some of them have even written on this blog not only through comments, but through “Guest Posts.”

Please feel free to comment and discuss even if you disagree with me.  I hold all email addresses with confidentiality, but for those of you who are rightly worried about security and anonymity, it’s easy to make a new email address with anonymous names, which you could do before commenting here.  While the point of this website is to help those who are trying to resist crossdressing, I welcome good comments from anybody even if you think crossdressing is a healthy activity.  I enjoy debating to a point, and will try to discuss with you in a healthy, peaceful way.  Perhaps we can have mutual learning and growth through the discussion.  I have been greatly helped by other bloggers, organizations, and articles which I have posted links to.  But as you comment, please keep in mind the purpose of my site.   I approve each comment individually.  I would rather just have comments completely open, but I have learned to monitor them because of past commenters crossing the line and harassing other commenters, or trolling.

Although I usually make clear distinctions between crossdressing as a sexual fetish addiction and crossdressing as a result of gender dysphoria/transgenderism, in some of my posts I talk about both at once with little distinction, and I have been criticized for doing so.  I am not ignorant of the important distinctions between the two issues.  But when I have not distinguished the two issues within an individual post, it is because my arguments against both issues are largely the same arguments and many posts apply to both issues equally.  There is far more overlap between these two gender issues than most people want to admit.  See this post for my thoughts about terms, labels, and types of crossdressers.

Thank you for being willing to read my thoughts.  If they help you, to God be the glory for what he has done in my life.  I thank him for being willing to use me.  Please comment below if you would like prayer in your struggle and I promise to dedicate time in prayer for you.

If you want some guidance in reading my posts, you can start with what I consider to be my “most important posts.”

Thorin

 

*Please do not post your email in the body of the comment itself. It is important to protect yourself from spam and potential harassment by never publicly posting your personal information (such as your email address) on this or any other blog. Rest assured that I will keep your email address confidential.

443 comments on “Welcome!

  1. gimmelvav says:

    I’ve looked at your website on and off for a few years. I see you invited others to email you, and I’d like to take advantage of that, as there are few people with knowledge, experience and honesty on this topic. What is the best way to do that, or is leaving a comment a good enough invitation?

    Thank you for setting this site up.

    Like

  2. thorin25 says:

    Gimmelvav, thank you your feedback. I’m happy to talk to you. We can talk right here, so that others can join the conversation, or if you want I can email you and then you can ask me some questions in private. If you want me to email you, I will do so using the email address you commented using. Let me know what you want to do

    Like

  3. arich62 says:

    Hi Thorin,
    I look at your website often, for it is one of the very few places one can go online to read about the inconvenient truth of crossdressing.
    I had a nasty relapse this past summer and my experiences were discovered by my wife just ten days ago, in photographs taken of myself at Pride Festivals, in my backyard and a public park. The usual guilt and shame but also fear, since I went so public, looked so brazen in the photos (because I was in places where their was heavy TG support) made her think I was really serious.
    Yet all this really was, was the power of Satan and power of the addiction. I think you know about autogynephilia, which was my experience. I was doing it to feel and stay aroused,. Dressing up can be like taking a needle into the vein and trying to stay high on cocaine or heroine all day. Increasing the 4D experience with crossdressing (getting “out and about”) increases the dosage of getting high.
    People I told this to at a local trans resource center thought this was a crazy concept.
    See most people today, especially in a place like that are already in give up mode because acceptance is now part of mainstream society and being promoted by mainstream media to the point of glorifying the trans community. Most crossdressers and many trans are living in a fools paradise. Trans people are very vocal today because of the support, so we need to rise up for our Christian values and be strong in our fight.
    -Alec

    Like

  4. thorin25 says:

    Alec, thank you for your note. I appreciate it. I and unfortunately so very many others know exactly what you were feeling. Like a sexual addiction, such as pornography, crossdressing can actually alter your brain, reprogramming your pathways for dopamine release. I sort of wonder if crossdressing is more damaging than porn because we give ourselves that sexual high for a whole day. It’s definitely similar in many ways to a drug.

    Sorry about the pain you are going through with your wife. She has every right to be upset. Repent fervently, and we pray she does the right thing of forgiving you and moving on together in healing. It might make her feel better to know that you are getting help. One way to get help would be to keep reading this blog and to join our prayer and accountability group

    https://healingcd.wordpress.com/email-prayer-chain/

    Even if you feel okay right now, be on your guard, you’ll get that desire for the drug again eventually. Be ready for it. One way to be ready is to pray for and help other guys who are struggling. That has helped me a lot not to forget why I don’t want to give in again

    Liked by 1 person

  5. arich62 says:

    Thank you for the reply Thorin,
    Indeed it has been a tough period of recovery for me, since my wife saw my pictures. She has forgiven me as she had known about my hidden desires in the past. But I still struggle to forgive myself.
    Even though the discovery was only two weeks ago, it again feels like yesterday it happened. We could cage our emotions about this issue for a while because the day after discovery my wife’s brother died. But now that I have gone past a grief period my mind starts to open up to that moment of discovery again.
    I will tell you more what was said but it is 4am in Oklahoma right now and tired.

    I will look into the prayer chain and join.

    CDing to me isn’t just like an ordinary drug but a very hard drug. Keeping on going and going with it, trying to make excuses that it is ok, like a minute ago thinking that I was beyond CDing and Trans because I stepped out of the closet (really all I did though was expand this closet to be outdoors with other tg people and supporters during Pride Week).
    Please assure me that it doesn’t matter if I stepped in or out of the closet, that I can still over come. better yet, pray for me.
    -Alec

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Temptedsinner says:

    Alec
    It is a hard drug. And like heroine, it can be beaten, You can beat it.
    Praying for you now.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. thorin25 says:

    Alec you can beat this. So many others have before you. Join our prayer group when you are ready. You are most welcome!

    Like

  8. peter harlow says:

    Hi i Petra And a Christian I have been struggling these desires 2 yr’s.Some time i can go without.a couple of weeks then the desire comes back and. I have also been drawn to adult sites. so it is a double whammy to deal with. please keep me in prayer

    Like

  9. thorin25 says:

    Are you Peter or Petra, a man or a woman? Either way I and others at this site are here to help you and pray for you. But a good start in the healing process is creating a new email that is not part of your false reality of pretending to be a woman.

    You will find that the only way to beat this and heal from it, is to have self control and not give in, even when the desires are there. You can’t hope for healing if you still give in every time you have a desire for it. You have to learn how to resist even when you have a desire for it. Even for me today, most of my desires for crossdressing have gone away, but not completely, sometimes they still come, but when they come, I have to resist them. The good news is that the more you resist giving in, the more your body will learn to desire something different. At least that has been what has happened for me. At first, resisting crossdressing or pornography, will make you desire it more. But if you can have self control during that tough period, over time the desires will get less and it will become habit to NOT give in, rather than habit to give in.

    I will pray for you right now, but I encourage you to keep reading the posts on this site. https://healingcd.wordpress.com/most-important-posts/

    And also, consider joining our official email prayer group, where you can regularly update us with your prayer needs so that a whole group of men can encourage you and pray for you, but also you can pray for us.
    https://healingcd.wordpress.com/email-prayer-chain/

    Like

  10. Dave B says:

    I just found your site, and I will be going through it as I can find time. I do have one question though, do you/have you, talked on what things start/spark the desire to start cross dressing? I have struggled with it in my head for decades, and I can not figure out the core reason why… so I can not try and kill it.

    With your pen name, I kinda think that it can fit… it feels like God has left it as a thorn in one side…. I think what Paul says about his thorn in his side.

    I do look forward to rading what you have here, and to hopefully find more guyes who struggle to chat with.

    Like

  11. thorin25 says:

    Dave, you are very welcome here. I have dozens of posts, all with different angles coming at that question, of what might have started these desires?

    Please keep reading, and looking around the site. Perhaps start with this post – https://healingcd.wordpress.com/2016/08/08/an-alternative-method-integration-and-contentment/

    If you would like prayer and accountability to quit crossdressing, consider joining our prayer group (offsite) – https://healingcd.wordpress.com/email-prayer-chain/

    Stay in touch

    Like

  12. zahdah says:

    Hi Dave, I have a question for you. What is you outlook on being a man? How do you feel about yourself as a man?

    Like

  13. Lisa says:

    Good question hope he answers. How are you doing Zahdah in your relationship?

    Like

  14. zahdah says:

    Thanks Lisa.
    Im still on the road to freedom (going to Freedom Session right now), and part of that is being free from my husband. I still love him, but feel less attached to him. He’s been on the road to “discovery” for about half a year now. He’s been taking breast growth supplements for quite awhile now. I’m rather at a loss as to how to proceed in our relationship. His body (he just fully shaved again too) is so revolting to me. If the breasts were unintentional, would be shaped differently, that would be completely different. Our sex life has been erratic. I can’t touch him in the breast area, without a total turnoff, and that in itself is really distracting. I’ve decided, and told him, that I don’t want sex anymore for now. And now he’s been all over me. It’s kind of freaking me out.
    He wanted to tell our children recently, that scared me at first, and one of the reasons was because he wanted to have the freedom to wear whatever he wanted around the house. I really don’t know if we’ll still be together next year. How can I be married to a man who’s, knowingly, changing his body into something that grosses me out?

    Like

  15. arich62 says:

    I will pray for you Zahdah. Your situation, it goes without saying, very difficult. Pray that you can find some peace in this situation.
    I have met a lot of men who transitioned over the years. Yours sounds like is getting close to the point of no return, probably has met other trans people over time, peer pressure, false sense of self when some/ other issues might be present, unless he really has dealt with this at earliest memory. (peer pressure was/ is something I have to fight).Most trans people, probably as much as 90% live in a fools paradise and it’s being so supported under our current government and mainstream media that any man who puts on women’s clothes anymore is automatically assumed female and encouraged to transition.
    -Alec, age 54, married, recovering from crossdressing/ trans addiction.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. zahdah says:

    Thank you Alec. I hadn’t thought of him being in contact with other trans, I’m rather afraid to ask that though. I’m so lost as to how to proceed.

    Like

  17. Temptedsinner says:

    Praying for your husband and you Sarah. :’-(

    Like

  18. Temptedsinner says:

    Stupid auto correct phone…
    Praying for your husband and you Zahdah!
    Like Alec eluded to, the environment that our government and media are building around this affliction is insane. If I hadn’t started my own long road to recovery when I did I would probably be wearing your husbands heels too. And my wife would be in the same boat as you.
    Zahdah,
    Set your limits, stick by them. I don’t remember if you have said how old your kids are, but you need to protect or prepare them for what may lie ahead. This is an awful place that we (collectively as CD’s) and your husband have put you in.

    Tempted

    Like

  19. zahdah says:

    Thank you tempted. I’m really trying to do that. Our children are 17, 15, and 13. They all have issues with anger, especially the middle one, boy, towards his dad. Sometimes I wonder if I did the right thing by staying with their dad. Would it have been healthier for them to not be around such emotionally unstableness?

    Like

  20. arich62 says:

    Given your children’s ages and if you live in a larger city, these days they are probably surrounded by trans youth and have been taught about GLBT rights in their schools. So maybe you could benefit from speaking to their school counselors about their dad and go from there?

    Like

  21. zahdah says:

    Hi arich62, he told them, somewhat, this morning. So far they seem ok, but it’s hard to say. We actually homeschool, but my husband told them we’ll take them to the counselor we were seeing, if they want.

    Liked by 1 person

  22. thorin25 says:

    Zahdah, I just saw all of these messages. It truly makes my heartache, I feel like weeping right now. We cannot do anything to take away your pain, but I hope it at least helps somewhat to know that you have us as your allies, we affirm that you are right to feel the way you do, and you know we agree that what your husband is doing is very very wrong. And know that we are praying for you. I encourage you to read through this post again, https://healingcd.wordpress.com/2015/11/04/giving-pastoral-care-to-a-crossdresser-or-transgendered-person/

    I think your marriage is getting to the point where your husband is going to have to face the consequences of others finding out, because you will tell others to get help for yourelf, as well as a coming divorce (you didn’t sign on to marrying a woman), or at least a separation. But hopefully it won’t come to a divorce, hopefully it won’t even come to a separation, and that he will repent. Whatever happens, even if you have to take drastic measures, you’ll still have to work on forgiveness, which will be the toughest thing.

    “Father, be with Zahdah right now. Hold her close to you. Fill her with your love and peace. Give her the comfort that only you can give. You know her pain. Our Lord Jesus, you know what it is like to be betrayed and to feel deep pain and agony, to experience the rejection of so many people. You know pain and suffering. You know what Zahdah is going through. Lord, you can sympathize with her struggle. Be with her as you promised to never leave us. Help her to feel the presence of your Holy Spirit within her. Through the Holy Spirit, give her comfort, guidance, wisdom, and encouragement. Fill her heart with your love and grace and the joy of her salvation and your forgiveness of her sins, and the joy of your love for her. Give her strength and perseverance for the difficult road ahead. Give her a heart of forgiveness for her husband, at the same time that you give her courage to call her husband out of sin. Give her guidance to know what path to take, what to say, and what to do. We ask, in Jesus’ name, out of your mercy our Lord God, that you come down and take hold of this man’s heart. Shake him, turn his life upside down. Convict him strongly of his sin, so strongly that he goes to his knees in tears before you about what he has done. Shake him out of the false reality and delusions he has created for himself. Fill his mind with truth and take out the lies. Lord, save this man, save this marriage. We know with you all things are possible. We pray this please, because of your grace and mercy, and because you love us as your children, do this please for us. Change this man’s heart as only you can do. In Jesus’ name we pray, by the power of the Holy Spirit, Amen.”

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Temptedsinner says:

    Thorin,
    That is a great prayer of mercy for Zahdah’s husband. It calmed me down a little, because I am rather angry about this mans selfishness.
    So what now? Is he going to feel free to cross dress in front of his minor children? Forcing them to witness his own perverse obsessions?
    Oh great….. he has offered to get them counseling ! This is just another form of manipulation, in my opinion. It is sort of like the kids have the problem not the parent, the father, the man. That is bull crap!

    Why, why did he think that he had the right to shove this down their throats? I’m sure that all of his CD, TG friends will applaud his so called bravery. I condemn his cowardice and selfishness.

    I am sorry that I am judging him. The biggest reason that I did not follow a similar path is the Grace of God and also my kids. They would never invite friends over to the house for fear that dad is wearing a dress. I personally see no reason for you to have the burden to keep his secret any longer. As fathers, we are to be protect-ers of the family, not the ones who destroy it.

    Zahdah, I am praying for your wisdom, courage and strength during this unbelievable time of your life and marriage.

    Liked by 1 person

  24. Lisa says:

    Hi Zahdah, I can’t believe the selfishness of your husband. It must be so hurtful. A total lack of respect for you and your kids. Every action you’re taking now is totally understandable. What he is doing to his body and now wanting to dress around the house is despicable. It seems changing into his interpretation of a woman is all that matters to him now. The feelings of you and the kids are secondary to him now. Which is so wrong and sinful. I and everyone on this site is praying for you Zahdah. God will show you the way and give you the strength to move on in your life, without your husband, if that is what you decide.

    The fact that you have given your husband so many opportunities with therapy etc is very, very commendable. You should take pride in the strength and resilience you have shown in your attempts to heal your husband’s sins. I can tell you I and most women would have given up on him by now. You’re a strong woman and with God by your side you will come to the right decision.

    Like

  25. zahdah says:

    Thank you both so very much. Thorin, thank you for your prayer, I so desperately want to do Gods will, whatever that may mean. For I know the good He has for me.
    I have told 3 people about the depths of my husband’s addiction. I told the children about them, to let them know we’re not in this alone. And if they want to talk to someone on the outside. One of them has put us on her churches prayer list. Please pray for our second son specifically, he’s more inclined to act out and claim he’s fine. My daughters become rather clingy since he told them. I wish he had told them with me there, because than I could’ve seen the truth of how it impacted them.
    I’m hoping to have them all go to Freedom Session over the next few years.
    Again, thank you so much for your prayers.

    Like

  26. W says:

    Having lots of temptation. Met a very nice gal. We have been seeing each other for a few months. She knows nothing about my problem. She asked me to go to a Halloween party with her and that she’d find something for me to wear, so I agreed. The costume she picked out for me is all female clothes. Didn’t want to let her know my secret and wanted to act like a good sport, so I agreed to the costume she chose and to shaving my legs and armpits as she requested. She wanted me to put everything on for her to see how it looked. I tried to fight it, but the feeling of being dressed completely again was intoxicating. The outfit was similar to others I have worn in the past on my own. For her, it is something fun for Halloween and nothing more. For me, I know that it is going to take a lot of strength to stop after Halloween is over.

    Like

  27. Lisa says:

    Hi W, you need to tell her. If you intend to have a serious relationship with this woman you can’t keep your CD addiction from her. The longer you wait the more hurtful it will be to her. Relationships are built on trust.

    Like

  28. thorin25 says:

    W, it doesn’t matter what other people think, if you know what is right and wrong. If a friend thought cocaine was harmless and you knew it wasn’t would you agree to try it? Don’t give in to such foolishness. I know the temptation is so juicy and difficult and it is so hard to not give in. Like a dream come true huh? But you know in the end it leads to destruction, a ruined life, addiction, and hurts your relationship with God. Put a stop to it now. You can tell her “no” to the costume even if you decide not to tell her about your addiction. Either way, put a stop to it. You’ve already messed up. But you can still repent, still make a commitment to quit. It kind of sounds like you have already resolved to continue in crossdressing, and are hoping that some day in the distant future you will get resolve to quit again. Remind yourself why you wanted to quit crossdressing in the first place, those reasons haven’t changed. It’s still messed up, still addictive, still will ruin your life. Praying for you that God brings you back into right thinking! Thank you for keeping in touch. It takes courage to do so especially after what you did. Keep checking in and communicating. We are here for you

    Like

  29. W says:

    Lisa, i don’t want crossdressing to be part of my life, so I haven’t told her about it. I don’t want to scare her needlessly if I over come it. If things start to get serious with her and I am still struggling, I will try to find a way to let her know my problem.

    Like

  30. W says:

    Thorin, I left the clothes at her place that day, so I would avoid the temptation all together. I don’t have any female clothing of my own anymore. I haven’t been crossdressing for months other than trying the clothes she gave me on for a few minutes, so part of me wants to go ahead and go with her to the party, since I already agreed to before I found out what her costume idea was to prove to myself that I with God’s help am stronger than this addiction and it will be just for Halloween. Part of me wonders if I can pass this test. If I don’t think I can handle it, I’ll let her know that I don’t feel comfortable going out dressed like that and sorry for chickening out on her, but would prefer another costume.

    Like

  31. temptedsinner says:

    Pass the test NOW dude…… stop and buy yourself a devil costume instead and consider who is whispering to you that you’ll be Ok.

    Like

  32. thorin25 says:

    W, addicts always try to prove to themselves and others that they are “strong” and can handle the temptation. That is not what God tells us to do. Read my latest blog post about Bible verses and purging. I can’t be a hypocrite. I’ve done what you’ve done before, trying to rationalize an episode of crossdressing by saying I was proving to myself that i don’t need it, or that it wouldn’t give me pleasure, or that it would be only one time. It always fails. Such logic does not work with addiction. God tells to run away from temptation not to embrace it. Imagine you were counseling a crack addict, and he said he just wanted to take it one more time, just to prove to himself that he doesn’t really need it. That is exactly what you are doing. Not wise! Please do whatever possible, whatever excuse you need to make, to get out of doing this costume with her. Who cares if she doesn’t understand. You are doing what is best for yourself. If you lose the relationship over a costume, she wasn’t the one for you anyway. But if she is a good woman for you to be with, she will not end the relationship over such a small thing.

    Crossdressing is also demeaning to women, as it caricatures them. I don’t think it’s funny even in a costume. You could use that as an excuse to get out of it if you want.

    Like

  33. W says:

    Thorin, Thank you for your words of wisdom. I had a similar thought that seemed to come out of nowhere and kept going through my head. Would I give a recovering alcoholic another drink or recommend they drink again once to see if they’re strong enough to stop again? Each time that question went through my head the answer was always no, I would never do that. I would be only fooling myself if I thought I could be different.

    I didn’t tell her that I was a recovering crossdresser, nor did I tell her that I thought crossdressing is demeaning to women. I didn’t get into detail and just told her I didn’t feel comfortable wearing that outfit. She seemed a little disappointed, but she had gotten another costume just in case, so it all worked out. Thank you again for your help.

    Like

  34. Temptedsinner says:

    Great work W….

    Like

  35. thorin25 says:

    Good job W! Celebrate that victory, even if you have to do so alone. It is worthy of celebrating. Keep on the right path

    Like

  36. Justin says:

    I really enjoy all the topics. Just reading them gives me strength to stay away from cding. It has been an issue since i was 12 years old.

    Like

  37. Ben says:

    I am a crossdresser and a born again.
    I don’t know what to do I’m so sad I hate the way I am. However I would not change my self if I could how wrong is that?
    I don’t want god to take this away from me but at the same time I wish I was normal.
    I don’t know what to do I have 4 children and a loving wife. I wonder if I die and go to heven would I be a girl. I need help I need help I need hep please

    Like

  38. thorin25 says:

    Ben, many people throughout the world and history have been in your shoes. They want to live for Christ, but they also want to live for sin. It’s rough, but at some point you have to choose. The Bible is clear that those who walk in darkness are not born again, those who continue in a lifestyle of sin are not born again. We are not saved by our good works, but only by God’s grace in Christ. Yet, the evidence of truly being born again is a changed life, walking in the life, no longer walking in sin. Not perfection, but a life characterized by repentance, confession, and no longer walking in sin. 1 John 3:6, James 2, etc.

    Augustine, the greatest theologian ever in the Christian church said before he came to Christ – “Lord give me chastity and self-control, but not just yet!”

    But finally he surrendered fully and completely. You cannot be born again, you cannot be a follower of Jesus, unless you surrender to him 100%, holding nothing back. We have to die to ourselves, and then live a new life in Christ. There is no being born again without first dying to our old self.

    I feel your pain and your struggle, but your life as it is should not continue in this same way. I’m sorry to be so blunt, but you should hear the truth. You must choose. Continue in your hypocrisy, pretending to live for Christ, when in reality you are living for your sexual pleasure. Or choose to surrender completely to Christ.

    I will pray for you now that the Holy Spirit would help you to make the right decision. Please keep commenting and communicating here. I care about you, but I will also speak the truth to you.

    In the meantime, keep reading my posts, perhaps especially my posts on the Bible – https://healingcd.wordpress.com/most-important-posts/

    Like

  39. Snip says:

    Thorin,

    I needed to hear(read) some of your words. I know that if I just focus on being close to Christ that my problem is less of one. Too often will I get focused on how to overcome that I just focus on the problem which turns out to be me thinking about shoes and what I’d like to do. When I focus on Christ, the problem melts away.

    Ben,

    I too have been in a place where I wanted out but also wanted to keep enjoying myself in my lusts. From my own experience, I can say that the grass is greener with Christ. Life still had its challenges and always will, but Christ gives peace in the turmoil. Those of us who understand the place you’re in (in our own way) will be praying for you.

    Like

  40. Ray says:

    I am a blood bought believer, and I realize the great struggle I have with crossdressing. I have been doing it in a very serial deviant way for the last 6 months. I have dressed as a female before but the actual impulsion, and addiction did not begin until April of this year. I need help. I am currently in a 12 step program for addiction to alcohol and drugs, but I don’t know how to go about finding help with my struggle for the desire to crossdress. If there is any way you can help me please do.

    Like

  41. thorin25 says:

    Ray, you are in the right place. You can get help here. But first thing you need to realize is that the addiction to CD is very similar to your addiction to drugs and alcohol. Once you start taking it just as seriously, you will be able to start finding some freedom. Don’t take it lightly. And it can also ruin your life as do those other addictions.

    Firstly, I will pray for you right now.
    Secondly please consider joining our prayer group for mutual support, encouragement, accountability, and prayer.
    https://healingcd.wordpress.com/email-prayer-chain/

    Thirdly, please keep reading my blog posts that I have written over the last years, you will find much help!
    https://healingcd.wordpress.com/most-important-posts/

    It sounds like you are in deep in the throes of addiction. That means our prayer chain over the internet might not be enough. You may need to get an accountability partner in real life, and / or a Christian counselor who realizes that this addiction is a negative thing (not a counselor who says its a part of you and you should embrace it).

    Keep reading here, keep commenting here, I and others will help you as best we can.
    Start here – https://healingcd.wordpress.com/2012/03/18/12-steps-to-stop-crossdressing/

    Take this seriously. If you want to stop, you can, but it’s gonna take some hard work! Be prepared to spend time and discipline handling this beast.

    Like

  42. Clarissa says:

    Hello and thank you for your post thank you for your comments I am hoping that you can help me I’ve been married for 27 1/2 year on July 22, 2015 I learned that my husband was is I don’t know is a CROSSFRRSSER. Has a wife and a woman Learning this has been extremely hurtful and confusing to me I had no idea throughout our marriage but this is been going on and now I am very unsure of my role in this. I am very scared I feel deceived and Iet down I don’t know how to be his wife. I don’t understand he says he wants the work on your marriage . we are both Christians and I know he prays about this issue every day but I have never Felt so lost . I don’t know what do . I feel out of place in my own marriage .I I want to be supportive but I feel so betrayed and I don’t know how to trust him . Any comments would be welcome and helpful thank you

    Like

  43. thorin25 says:

    Clarissa, I encourage you to post again, and share some of your story, at this page of my website – https://healingcd.wordpress.com/wives-of-crossdressers-chat/

    There you will get much advice, feedback and prayer from other wives.

    I also encourage you to read this post, which includes a special section for wives of crossdressers, I have written it for people like you – https://healingcd.wordpress.com/2015/11/04/giving-pastoral-care-to-a-crossdresser-or-transgendered-person/

    Honestly, your situation sounds very good. It sounds like he is repentant and wants to work on the marriage. That is the mark of a true Christian, repentance and confession (not perfection). I know you are hurt, i know he broke your trust, i know it feels like nothing will ever be the same, but there is a lot of hope actually. Your marriage can still work out well, and he and you can both grow in patience, love, faith, forgiveness, and relationship with God through all of this.

    I will pray for you right now, but please keep in touch, get in touch with the other wives on that page, and please keep reading my posts which will help you much.

    If your husband is ready to quit and get help, we at this blog are ready to help him. Please send him our way. He can join our prayer and accountability group –
    https://healingcd.wordpress.com/email-prayer-chain/

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s