Did all of you stay strong during this Halloween Season? How hard was it to resist temptation? Comment below if you have any great stories of victory to share with us for our encouragement.
It is 11-1-11 and I have been pure from any kind of crossdressing failure for 51 days. I feel REALLY good, about life, about myself, and my relationship with God. Of course, I am still sinful and have many problems, but it is very freeing not to be feeling dirty from this particular sin. There are still small or medium cross-dressing temptations that spring up from time to time, but they are not too difficult to fight off anymore. I hope one day that they will cease to be there at all. But even if they don’t, that is okay. One small benefit of the temptations is the feeling of victory I get every time I resist one. And it helps me to learn more self-control for life in general.
I still have dreams about cross dressing periodically, but they seem to be less than before. I am very pleased to report that I am having more sexual dreams about my wife, (that do not include cross dressing), and that is something that has been very rare in the past. My desire for her is increasing and my daytime fantasies about her are increasing and becoming more passionate. It is a wonderful change. But, as I’ve written in my “about” section, sex has not been a good part of our marriage. So I feel frustrated that my desires for her are increasing and yet I can’t find real fulfillment in them for the time being. For now, as part of our work on sex in our marriage, my wife is doing various sexual exercises and while she is doing that, we are not having sex. (During this time I have been masturbating while thinking of her, which has been getting easier but it used to be near impossible without thinking of crossdressing). But I have hope through this work she is doing, that maybe one day she will enjoy sex. In the meantime, I’m working hard to get sexually pure and desire what I am supposed to, and she is working hard to desire what she is supposed to. I pray that God will reward us for our efforts with a passionate, holy, pleasurable marriage in the future.