Are we all really the same?

I was just commenting to another blogger that this crossdressing issue is really complex and I have to remember to be clear in my blog posts.  Am I talking about those who struggle with transgender feelings, those who crossdress for sexual pleasure, or those who crossdress for fun, or those who crossdress to relieve stress?  The list goes on.  Crossdressing is a complex issue, and we relate to it in many different ways with some important differences.  So I was just pondering that and then I found this article – Seven Great Myths Among Us MTFs.


In the article we read:

Myth #2: Crossdressers and transsexuals are two whole different types of people.

This notion is extremely prevalent, as is reflected by the very fact that we use the words crossdresser and transsexual, as opposed to part-time MTFs and full-time MTFs—or something like that. This myth seems to be supported by the fact that some transsexuals, especially very effeminate, early-transitioning ones appear cut from a completely different cloth than crossdressers—and indeed they are (see my article on the two types of trans women). On top of that, drawing a hard line between CD and TS can be extremely useful for CDs who strive to stay accepted as men and TSs fighting for acceptance as women.

But be it on the Internet, at a convention, or even at a nightclub, scratch the surface with more than a handful of us, and you’ll realize that we started-out-straight MTFs have shockingly similar personalities, professions, and interests. Not only that, but you’ll find a number of us imbetweeners like me who feel that they’d be perfectly capable of living either as crossdressers or a transsexuals.

I read that and was like, “yeah that makes sense, and that even fits my own experiences.”  This seems to go against what I was just talking about in the above paragraph but it seems true as well.  We really do all seem to be struggling with the same things, the same types of issues.  Men who crossdress to relieve stress may eventually want to have a sex-change and have less stress in life by living as a woman.  Men who crossdress for sexual pleasure, may eventually find they enjoy crossdressing just to relieve stress as well.  They may start to stay dressed for hours or days at a time.  Men who crossdress just to experience something feminine for a while or explore their feelings of wondering what it is like to be a woman, may find that they start to sexually enjoy the experience of dressing.  I’m just rambling and maybe those examples don’t make the most sense.  But my point is that there seem to be a lot of commonalities between us all.

And this is perhaps another reason why I think God does not want us to give in to crossdressing in any of these forms.  They all have the similar confusions and deceptions.  And they are all very similar and they easily lead into each other.  My crossdressing started as daydreams and dreams.  Then it became reality.  Then it became addiction even without ejaculation.  Then it became more clearly a sexual addition.  Then it became actually wanting to be a woman at times, or at least to live as a woman.  It became the way I dealt with loneliness or stress.  It became the way I let out certain stereotypical feminine traits out of me.  It became my way to escape temporarily from the pressures of the traditional male role.  If I had allowed my crossdressing for sexual pleasure to continue, without having the faith that I have, and the wife that I have, I can easily see how it would be possible for me to eventually go through getting a sex-change.

It’s interesting to me that the crossdressing community at times is really anti-labels.  Don’t label me as a man or woman, or transvestite, or fetishist, or transsexual, crossdresser, etc.   And at other times, we really want to label ourselves as one thing or the other so we are not included in other groups or definitions.  Perhaps in some ways we can’t truly label what type of crossdresser we are because all the types intermix within each of us so often.  But on the other hand, there are differences between us, and we have to sort out what we are talking about when we talk about this complex issue of crossdressing.  It seems to be a delicate dance.

When I talk about crossdressing, I’m usually just going to talk about it in general.  As I’ve stated before, I think all of these forms of crossdressing are unhelpful, harmful, and sinful.  That’s just my opinion (except for the crossdressing out of necessity in bizarre hypothetical situations to save someone’s life, etc.).  But when I talk about some aspect of crossdressing that only applies to 1 or 2 types of crossdressers, I’ll try to clarify.  As I write other posts, feel free to ask me to clarify if I am not clear.


One comment on “Are we all really the same?

  1. Ralph says:

    You certainly have me pegged in the last section. I try to assert more descriptive labels *precisely* because I don’t want to be lumped in with “those other” crossdressers. I should really just relax and worry about me, not thee. Besides which, all those labels and categories and distancing myself from others leads down a path of also judging and condeming others. Right, as if I’m in any position to do!


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