Celebrate with me! It’s been 3 months since my last failure of any kind. It feels more good than I can describe. This is the best I’ve felt overall in life in years and years. My life isn’t perfect by any means, but with crossdressing out of my life, everything just looks brighter and better.
One new thing I’ve been noticing, is that the longer I resist crossdressing, the way I view my wife changes. As a past crossdresser I have a heavy attachment to feminine things, the clothing and objects themselves. I don’t just find women attractive, I find their clothing or makeup attractive. I don’t just get turned on by women, I get turned on by a pair of shoes or a purse. This has caused some issues in my marriage. I am always wanting my wife to wear more makeup, or wear high heels, or buy new clothes, or paint her nails etc. In general, she’s been a good sport about this though is frustrated at times. I do think it’s good for both husband and wife to try to be attractive for the other. But I think a big part of my desires for what she should wear was because I was attracted to those objects and extras rather than being attracted to her as she is.
Lately, I’m noticing I desire her more just in general, regardless of those external attachments. I still find all of those things attractive, but in general those objects are turning me on less. As I lose my interest to crossdress (my desire for those objects), I also am losing the need for my wife to have all those objects in order to be attractive. Her normal regular beauty as a woman, as my wife who I know and love, is becoming greater. Just she by herself is turning me on more than before, and the desire for her to have those extra things is less. This is a very small change. I don’t want to exaggerate it. I still enjoy it when she paints her nails, wears high heels and so on, but there is a marked difference in how much I feel I “need” her to do those things. So this is just one more of the many things I find encouraging now that crossdressing is no longer a part of my life.