I like the post my friend wrote – “here” – about the importance of making affirmations in order to overcome crossdressing. He is basically talking about making declarations about and to yourself. I disagree with him that we can change our reality solely by our thoughts. I would not tell myself an affirmation about myself that I know not to be true, just because I think the affirmation will start making it become true. So I would not say to myself, “you don’t desire crossdressing” if I did in fact desire it. And that is what the author advocates. But he has some helpful insight in his post so I encourage you to read it. I think that true affirmations or reminders about what we want for our lives are very powerful which I think is his main point.
I believe we have to be careful with our thoughts so we don’t make stupid rationalizations to do things we regret later. So when faced with a temptation, I give myself honest affirmations or declarations. I tell myself the truth. “Yes, I do have some desire to crossdress right now.” “I really have strong desires to put on those cute high heels.” “I’d really love to see my face beautifully made up like a woman today.” “I really want to read that story about the boy who has to wear girls’ clothes because he lost his luggage.”
But those are never the only truths I believe/feel. I also tell myself, “Whenever you crossdress, you disobey God.” “Whenever you crossdress, you start to feel sick.” “Whenever you crossdress, you feel so depressed afterward.” “You think that this crossdressing will make you less stressed, and it will for a moment, but then you’ll be even more stressed and anxious afterward.” “Whenever you give in to these crossdressing desires you end up wasting so much time.” “I don’t really want to do this because I love my wife.” “My wife will be home soon and I can cuddle with her instead.” “I don’t want to do this and jeopardize my job.” “You tell yourself you want to wear a skirt just to see how comfortable it is, but you know you really want to wear it for the sexual pleasure.” “I always feel so much better about myself and life in general, and enjoy life more, when I don’t crossdress.” “I don’t want to be controlled by this addiction, I want to be free.” “God has been so good to me, and loved me even though I don’t deserve it, I should really resist this urge to show my gratitude and submission to him.”
By making all of these affirmations and declarations, it accomplishes a few things.
1. I don’t avoid or deny or bury the crossdressing feelings and desires I have. Instead I deal with them.
2. I remember and remind myself the important reasons why I don’t want to crossdress. It’s not what I want versus what someone else wants for me. It’s what I want versus what I want.
3. I easily conclude that the reasons I don’t want to do it far outweigh the reasons I want to do it. And therefore I don’t do it.
4. Rather than some of the times where I feel frustrated and shorted after resisting a temptation, I feel good and settled after resisting the temptation because I reasoned it through and it makes good sense.