Well, it’s been approximately 142 days since I last failed by putting on an article of women’s clothing or failed by reading crossdressing stories/watching crossdressing videos. This is a huge victory as I could fail either way nearly every day if I wanted to, since I do so much work from home alone. I wouldn’t even have to fear getting caught like many of you would. But I don’t desire it anymore. Not much has changed since my last progress report. I’m still very much enjoying the freedom from crossdressing that God gave me. I’ve been thinking about crossdressing and this blog much less lately, as I’ve been so busy in the other areas of my life. Being a pastor is a time-consuming position especially when I am always on-call. And God is using me greatly in that position and it’s my main role in life right now. In the past couple months there were times when I was spending too much time writing for this blog and not focusing on my job enough, so that has changed, and it needed to.
I still have the occasional dream with crossdressing elements. I still have minor temptations once in a while. To be real honest, I haven’t had a temptation to put on my wife’s clothing in a really long time. But the minor temptations I still have once in a while have to do with crossdressing stories or videos or pictures on the internet. I’m not particularly drawn to them anymore. But once in a while I will be commenting on other people’s blogs and articles related to crossdressing, and I have to be careful not to let myself go down the rabbit hole and then fail. It’s more about my old habits, than about me having huge temptations to look at those things or read those stories. When I used to fail on the internet in the past, I would spend hours just looking at crossdressing pictures, and videos, and reading stories, and I would be turned on the whole time until I would finally masturbate. This month, there were a couple times I was commenting on other people’s blog posts, and I just started clicking more links and ended up in places I probably shouldn’t have gone, where there were too many crossdressing pictures. I stopped looking pretty quickly, but it was a good reminder to be careful, even as I am visiting and commenting on sites to help other people.
My interest level in this blog has gone down some. I’m so sick of cross dressing and all the pain it has caused me in the past. Sometimes I just don’t want to think about it, not because I’m trying to bury my feelings, but just because I increasingly find crossdressing more disturbing, sick, ugly, and messed up. But usually it’s just that I feel too busy to write anything. Which is unfortunate because I have a list of probably 100 things I want to write about, and other good resources I want to link to. I’ll be keeping up this blog and I will keep writing, but the longer posts are going to be spaced out a little bit more than they used to be until I catch up on other things in life. I’m thinking posts will be more like once a week rather than every few days.
On a positive note, I see on my stats page what people are searching for in search engines to then find their way to my site. Not all of them comment on my site, but I can tell from what they typed in on their search that they are looking for guidance and help and freedom from crossdressing. Brothers, we are not alone. There are a lot of Christian brothers out there that want the same freedom we have. We must keep helping them in any way that we can. Pray for them and encourage them.