We are Not Alone

Probably like most of us, I check my stats for my blog.  I probably shouldn’t care so much about it.  One of my main forms of sin and idolatry is my pride and desire for affirmation.  I need to watch myself on that.  But I wanted to share some interesting things I’ve observed by looking at my stats.  This is not an attempt to say, “hey look at how popular my blog is.”

I am constantly struck by what people search on sites like google, and then they find their way to my site.  Sometimes I don’t see the connection at all.  And I’m sure many people that accidentally find their way to my blog leave very quickly because it is not what they are looking for.  I’m sure my site is the last site some people are looking for based on what things I see people search for.  Such as “halloween sissy crossdress.”  I’m sure they probably weren’t looking for a site like mine.  But maybe once in a while, someone will be looking for something else, stumble upon my site, and have God work in their heart to change how they are living.  In fact before I started this blog, one day I was looking for crossdressing material online to turn me on, when I stumbled upon the websites of some bloggers that I now have linked to, whose posts woke me up to renewing my fight against crossdressing again.  If it can happen to me and radically change my life, God could use the same thing to change somebody else’s life.

But I have observed through looking at those searches that there are A LOT of hurting crossdressers out there, a lot of people who feel in bondage to it and want freedom from it.  We are not alone.  So few websites acknowledge this.  My impression is that most crossdressing websites say that crossdressing is good and healthy, and it’s usual to feel a little guilty about it, but you’ll get over it.  Very few acknowledge the potential harm of it, or acknowledge how many people are seeking help from it.  Even more rare are websites that show there is hope and that it is actually possible to stop crossdressing and have a good healthy life.   Very few crossdressing websites mention how many people there are who have found freedom from it.  So that is why I’m writing this post, to show that we are not alone.

 

Here are some of the exact searches since I started my blog.  I get a few hits per day from searches along these same kinds of ideas.

“effect of crossdressing on a marriage”

“christians who overcome crossdressing”

“first stone ministries crossdressing”

“crossdressing Bible”

“Jesus help me why am I a crossdresser”   –   Wow that one brings up much emotion in me

“how to remove crossdressing thoughts”

“harmful effects of crossdressing to a wife of crossdresser”

“god healing crossdressers”

“healing from transvestism”

“resisting crossdressing”

“healing crossdressing”

“crossdressing temptations”

“is crossdressing a sin”

“crossdressing sin Jesus is savior”

“is crossdressing deception”

“how to stop crossdressing with Jesus”

“can crossdressers be healed”

“deuteronomy 22:5 crossdressing”

“stop crossdressing sin”

“crossdressing ministry”

“how to resist crossdressing”

“christian perspective on crossdressing”

“christian ministry crossdress”

“12 steps for crossdressers”

“feel guilty for crossdressing”

“how to stop feeling guilty after crossdressing”

“negative effects of crossdressing”

“addicted to crossdressing”

“ministry to get out of crossdressing”

“worst sin crossdressing or lying”

“love and hate crossdressing”

“ill effects of crossdressing”

“why does my husband not see that crossdressing is ruining our marriage”   – wow my heart hurts for that person

“12 step program for crossdressers”

“god forgive me for crossdressing”

“how to give up crossdressing”

“can a person quit crossdressing”

“crossdressing is destructive”

“how can I be healed from transvestism”

 

And many many more.  Pray for these unnamed people who searched for these things, that God would guide them to truth, to good ministries and programs that can help them find freedom from crossdressing.

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7 comments on “We are Not Alone

  1. Andrew says:

    My Brother Thorin
    I am proud to call you my brother as we fight this good fight. For more years than I want to admit to I was any number of those searches and I praise God and Jesus Christ that I finally got the message. “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” Amen You will note that He didn’t say some things nor did He put any caveat on that verse, He says ALL things. Yes I am a recovering crossdresser but more than that I am a recovering sinner that will struggle with not only sexual impurity but self-centeredness, pride, anger, co-dependence and a host of other character defects. I am the child of abuse in more ways than I care to discuss but thanks be to God that he cares about me, and my struggles and gives me the strength to face each day with Him by my side. He does not condemn me for anything but instead lets me know that he always wants the best for me. He is my Father, the one I never had and He loves me and all who might read this.
    There is so much pain and hurt out there, so much that the enemy has used to turn our heads away from the truth, away from all the best that God has always wanted for us. I love the crossdressers out here on the net and want them just to stay open, open to the truth of what our Father in Heaven wants for all of us, He wants us to trust Him to take the pain and hurt and sorrow and carry it when we feel we can’t do it anymore. To put one foot in front of the other and just start walking towards Him. Maybe, just maybe the very Spirit of God will let us know that we are ok as men, as men who have many times just lost our way and lost our heart. I have no easy answers for any brother who struggles but hopefully we can just dialogue and ask the hard questions periodically through blogs such as yours and others out there. There is healing here for any who will but seek the truth and are willing to join in this worthwile battle for the souls who are lost out there,not to condemn or in anyway be insensitive to the hurting out there but siimply to love as He first loved us.

    Thank you for being here

    Andrew

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  2. ikthys says:

    wow- that IS amazing, but not surprising. You really do have a ministry in this. My heart really does go out to all these guys and gals. If only there were no stigma to this struggle and we all could just form a group out in the open and talk about it. Until then, keep posting, keep praying. God bless.

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  3. Ralph says:

    Oh wow… I actually had tears in my eyes reading some of those heartfelt cries for help. Thanks for bringing this to our attention.

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  4. marky says:

    I’ve been online since around 1996 – and i agree that it has only been in the last year that i have come across the alternative view – I was actually starting to believe that “resistance was futile” – but in the last month – I have had a certain hitherto unknown liberty – I put this down to a number of factors – 2 years of stop-start persistence and realising this is an issue, prayer from you guys and the reading of a few excellent psychology books focusing on the areas of addiction – I am far from cured / healed – and some times it’s minute by minute, other times hour by hour but at the end of each day I sense that I’ve made it a little further up the hill – and at the moment I get a small thrill, not for any improper reason but because i have not taken the easy option. So if i may Thorin, i just want to encourage your readers who make it to this site – that there can be path of recovery. There is no doubt about it. The road is less travelled and there may be failures but this is the ‘mother’ of addictions – and I am convinced if you want released from its grip you have to look at it like an addiction. The difficult bit is trying to get help as who among us wants to admit to anybody that they have such an affliction. It would be easier in most churches to confess to alcoholism than to admit this. However, I and other others are making progress

    One thing i would like to see – and I would be happy to add my insight is practical steps that we can use to defeat this – Part of me is cautious about offering advice as I know that it is only the Grace of God that is getting me through each day but on the other hand through a lot of trial and error – I’m finding ways that work for me to deal with this scourge. The most important lesson i found was that by trying to tackle it head on with the Cognitive Based Therapy methods – made things worse – It was like a weak man with his arm tied behind his back ‘antagonising a black belt ninja jailor. – All this “face it, replace and connect”, stuff didn’t work for me ( well, not at the start anyway – ) – what I can say as i put some ‘sea’ between me and the last ‘incident’ is that my mind has never felt sounder and the persistent anxiety that always seemed to pervade my working day has diminished significantly. Praise God!

    Anyway that is my tuppence worth – Thorin, keep up the good work – It is a rich vein that your are mining – even if only 1 man in 500 – i suspect it may be nearer 1 in a 100, is impacted by this issue – there are several hundred thousand in the US alone – and if only out of those a handful hope for restoration and their lives back – we who support your blog – should do all we can to assist (prayerfully and practically).

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  5. thorin25 says:

    Thank you for that nice comment Marky. First of all, there is already some great practical help out there, and if you look at the guys I have linked to under “fellow fighters” you can read some of their posts, and they have some really great ideas. I’m working on going through their posts and linking to some good ones, but that will be a long project.

    Secondly, I’d be happy to make a link for you if you start a blog as well and give some of your own practical tips. But if you don’t feel like the hassle of making a blog, especially if there are only a couple things you want to write, I’d be happy to post something for you. Just write up your ideas, send me an email, and I’ll make some guest posts on this blog with your ideas. The goal is not for me to write everything, the goal is to help others and link to all the best resources, so I would love to have your help.

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  6. Jared says:

    I look up search phrases as well. The reason why I titled my site “stop crossdressing” is because hundreds of people each month were searching for that phrase in Google.

    I have had more than 1000 visitors just from Google this month, so it really does tell you that this is more of a widespread problem that most believe.

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  7. thorin25 says:

    Wow that is awesome. God is using you to help so many depressed guys out there who want freedom from crossdressing. Keep it up!

    Like

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