12 Steps to Stop Crossdressing

Steps for Giving up and Stopping Crossdressing

I thought it would be helpful to compile a list of good beginning steps for those who want to give up crossdressing for good.  This is just a starting point for those who wish to stop crossdressing completely.  Stopping crossdressing altogether is a long process, and there is much more that could be said and be done, besides the brief steps I’ve outlined here.  But for those that want to finally overcome crossdressing in their lives, this is a good place to begin.

I’m going to only briefly lay out these points.  For some of them I will link to other blog posts, (some of them not my own), that explain further these points.  For most of these points, I plan to write about them in a more deep way, each individually, in the future in other detailed posts.  Also, I’m sure this list could be improved, edited, added to, so if you have any suggestions please let me know.  The goal is to help people, not make myself look like an expert (which I’m not), so if you have any helpful criticisms, please comment.

These steps are in an order.  The order is just my own opinion on what I think would be most helpful.  Obviously many people will disagree with these steps, or the order, or that crossdressing even needs to be stopped.  But for those that do want to stop crossdressing, I hope this can be somewhat helpful for you.

It can take a long time to stop.  For myself, I was doing almost all of these things for about 10 years and it still took until last year for me to stop completely.  For me, I think primarily I was missing the belief that it was really possible to stop (Step #2).  I knew logically that it was possible, but it just seemed too unlikely until I found others online who had already given up crossdressing.  Then I was like, “hey if they can stop for good, I can too.”  It was like a light bulb turned on and stopping finally was attainable and I finally stopped crossdressing for good.


1. Desire to stop crossdressing. 

The first step obviously is that you have to actually want to stop crossdressing.  Maybe you think crossdressing is sinful and so you want to stop.  Maybe you think its destructive in your life and so you want to stop.  Maybe its harming your marriage and so you want to stop.  Maybe you are just afraid of the reality of getting caught.  But whatever the case may be, the first step has to be some desire to stop.    If you aren’t to that point yet, consider reading these posts.

Summary of why crossdressing is sinful/harmful
How sexual addiction destroys our lives
Deuteronomy 22:5
Crossdressing is like Pornography
Crossdressing is about Envy
Article about Sexual Sin
Crossdressing demands sacrifice of self
How do we know what is true? Is crossdressing sinful?
But I was born with these desires
Crossdressing can become idolatry
1 Corinthians 11:2-16 Prohibits crossdressing
The Myth of “Choosing to be yourself.”
Guilt is an achievement!

You can also read some of my “progress report” posts to see why I stopped crossdressing and how much better I feel now.  Just go to my category selection and click on “progress reports.”    Here a couple posts by a friend about why he stopped.
Why I don’t anymore
Ironing it out


2.  Believe that it is possible to stop crossdressing.

Make yourself inundated with the truth about crossdressing and the ability to stop it by reading through the posts on my website, as well as the posts on the fellow fighters’ websites that I have links to on my homepage.  Spend some hours reading.  Read and watch testimonies on my links page.  Most crossdressers are stuck in the belief that it is impossible to stop crossdressing and are stuck in the self-deception of crossdressing.  Read some new perspectives from these websites.

Can God deliver me from crossdressing?
I quit crossdressing and I am happy!
Change is Possible!
Healing is Possible


3.  Decide to stop crossdressing.

Following this desire to stop crossdressing and the belief that it is possible, make a firm decision for yourself that you are going to fight to stop crossdressing and get it out of your life.  Make this a clear firm moment in your life and maybe even write down the date.  We always have the freewill to make such a decision.  See my post – You have a choice!  After you make the decision, make a plan of attack for yourself.  Don’t leave things up to chance.  Change your old habits.  Make a detailed strategy and plan to fight crossdressing.


4.  Pray.

If you are not a Christian, I think figuring out what you believe about the meaning of life, what you believe about God, is far more important than anything to do with crossdressing.  It’s more important that you think about life and death and why we exist than to read my website.  But for help in thinking this through, you could read – My Perspective.

For those who already have a relationship with Jesus, prayer is vital.  There are few components to this.  1.  Prayer of confession and repentance and asking God’s forgiveness for past crossdressing and related sins.   2.  Prayers of thanksgiving for forgiveness, salvation, and God’s love.   3.  Prayer to ask God for help to overcome the crossdressing addiction.  4.  Prayer as just talking to God, growing in your relationship with him.  Praise him, thank him, worship him, talk to him.  Become more intimate and purposeful in your relationship with God.  Continue with this step until you die 🙂


5.  Read, study, and memorize Scripture.

Delve into Scripture, the Bible, God’s Word.  Fill your mind with truth.  Fill your mind with God’s promises of forgiveness and grace.  Fill your mind with God’s promises of him giving us the power to resist sin.  Learn about God.  Read about Jesus’ life.  Grow in your relationship with him.  Follow the Bible’s instruction about how to life a full, joyful, fulfilling, fruitful life as God intended.  Continue with this step until you die as well.   It would be helpful to read some of the “Helpful Bible Verses” posts I have done.  These posts explain some good passages for you to begin with.  I also have some posts on specific Bible passages.  On my sidebar go to the “Bible” category to find all of these posts.


6.  Get rid of temptations.

Giving up crossdressing will be extremely difficult at first.  To help ourselves as much as possible we need to try to lessen the amount of triggers and temptations in our lives.  One obvious first step is getting rid of any secret stash of clothing right away.  Take it to Goodwill and be done with it.  There is no reason for you to keep it.  If you think you might go back to crossdressing someday and therefore it would be a waste to get rid of the clothes, then, (in my opinion), you really haven’t committed to stopping yet.  You need to go back to some of the first few steps again.

If the internet is a problem for you, consider getting an internet filter.  If your wife’s clothing being left out is a problem for you, consider telling her what she can to help you better.  Don’t do things that are technically “okay” if they will trigger your addiction.  For me that meant little things like not wearing an apron – I Won’t Put on that Apron.
Be wise about how you take trips – Ideas for Successful trips.
Grow a beard so that crossdressing will be less satisfying and easy.  (Plus this also might help you to feel more like a man again) –  Virtues of a beard.

Be careful about being alone so much of the time.  Get around other people.  Spend more time with friends or outside hobbies.  See this friend’s post – Home Alone.  Fill your time with something different things – Get a Hobby.
I think it is important to stop crossdressing cold turkey rather than through gradual lessening of crossdressing in the attempt to lessen the desires and temptations.  See my post –  unconditioning.  However, there are other forms of conditioning/unconditioning, mostly done with counselors, that could be helpful in stopping crossdressing.  My friend’s post here briefly talks about this and has many links for further information about these techniques –  The rejection cycle.

Consider fasting – Fasting can be a good recovery tool.

Listen to the Holy Spirit convicting you – Be Aware of God’s Presence
God gives me physical warnings against sin

Don’t expect it to be easy to heal from this addiction.  Don’t expect it to be easy to reduce the temptations.  You would put a lot of time into learning a language or an instrument.  You would put a lot of effort into getting rid of a drug addiction.  Why expect this to be different?
Read – No more half measures.


7. Dealing with temptations that come

It’s one thing to get rid of as many temptations as we can.  But what do we do when temptations do make it through to us?  What can we do when we suddenly have a strong desire to put on our wife’s sexy black high heels or really want to read the latest crossdressing fiction story online?  We have to be ready to deal with the temptations and desires we will inevitably still experience.  Here are a few ideas.

First of all, stick to your commitment not to give in to crossdressing at all.  And I would add, do not to let yourself fantasize about crossdressing at all.  You don’t need to kick yourself for having a crossdressing thought come into your mind.  But don’t let yourself dwell in pleasurable crossdressing fantasies.  If you want to really successfully stop crossdressing and find healing from it, you have to fight these fantasies as well.  Fantasizing about it only adds more power to it, and you’ll probably eventually manifest the fantasies through concrete actions of crossdressing.  (Not to mention God cares about what goes on in our hearts and minds beyond just what we do).

But this is not to say we should suppress our crossdressing desires.  When they come we should acknowledge them and deal with them.  Trying to ignore them or bury them will probably either just cause them to bubble forth like a volcano at some later point, or cause you mental anguish.  It’s important we be honest with ourselves about the thoughts that come into our minds, but then deal with them without burying them.  See a friend’s post about suppression here – Suppression.  Try the Rain approach to temptation – Don’t Suppress your desires.

Learn how to fight against Satan’s temptations – How Satan tempts us to crossdress.

Something I’ve found most helpful is telling myself affirmations of truth during times of temptation.  I break through the crossdressing rationalizations and lies by reminding myself, “I don’t really want to crossdress.”  “I don’t want to sin because I love God and am thankful for his forgiveness.”  “I always feel stupid after crossdressing.”  See a more full description of this here – Importance of Affirmations.

I also have found distractions to be helpful during times of temptations.  The sexual power of crossdressing temptations often makes me lose my head.  But if I do something else briefly, rational thinking returns and the strong temptation subsides.  For me playing an engaging video game helps a lot.  For others it could be playing an instrument, taking a walk, working out, etc.  See my post – Video games are helpful.  See also this post – Get a Hobby.

It also helps to have some way to get rid of sexual build up and tension.  For those of us who are married, finding ways to have more sexual or just physical time with our wife can be very helpful.  And if you’ve opened up to her about your fight against your crossdressing addiction, she may be more willing to help you out with more sexual time together.  Another way to release the sexual tension is to use masturbation as a crutch.  But you have to be careful with this one.  For many crossdressers it might be nearly impossible to masturbate while thinking about anything other than crossdressing.  If this is the case, you may have to avoid masturbation altogether.  But for me, I found it very helpful to give up crossdressing and increase my desire for my wife by thinking about her while masturbating.  It took discipline.  But releasing that sexual tension at times was very helpful when tempted.  You can read more about the thorny issue of masturbation – here.


8. Get some accountability.

Here is my most thorough post on the need for an accountability partner – Get an Accountability Partner.

Realize that you probably are not going to be successful doing this alone.  Find others in your life to support you, some for indirect support, and some people for direct support who know about your crossdressing struggle.  Part of this support could be going to church.  It could be finding a specific church small group to admit your struggle to.  It could be joining a sex addicts anonymous group.   – Sex Addicts Anonymous’s Twelve Steps

It could include telling a couple close friends about your addiction and getting their encouragement and accountability.  It could involve telling your wife.  Telling close friends and my wife was immensely helpful to me.  We all need some friends to confess our sins to because when we confess to someone, temptations lose their power over us.  We need people to ask us regularly how we are doing.  We need people who will stick by us through thick and thin.  We need people who will encourage us.  We need people who will celebrate with us when we are successful at beating crossdressing, and people who will help pick us back up and remind us of God’s grace at times that we fail.   We need to commit to telling the truth if we are going to be successful.  See my post on telling the truth about our crossdressing to others – Telling the truth.
Also, see my friend’s post about this – Truth and Honesty.

I’d highly encourage you to tell your wife about your crossdressing struggle.  Being a woman, and being in such an intimate relationship with you puts her in a unique position.  Just telling her will help you, even though it could be very painful for both of you at first.  But the truth may just set you both free.  Having your wife know brings a reality check to your actions that is hard to match.  She can help you realize the foolishness of what you were doing and encourage you in your new fight against it.  She can help you think through your own personality and struggle with crossdressing.  I also think this kind of honesty is terribly vital for such an important and intimate relationship like marriage.  Crossdressing is something that has shaped your entire life, and it would help her to understand you better to know about it.  Here are three posts that will help you think about telling your wife –

How do I tell my wife, a friend, or a pastor about my crossdressing?
Article – The role of a wife in your recovery
Giving Pastoral Care to a crossdresser or transgendered person

You also might want to consider confessing sins of crossdressing to your wife, sister, mother, or others in your life that you might have confused or hurt by your crossdressing, as well as asking them for forgiveness.  Last, I have an email prayer list I’ve created for those of us who are fighting and struggling together or have a heart to pray for those who are struggling.  It’s a great way to receive prayer and help from others who are also fighting crossdressing – Email Prayer Chain.


9.  Find a valuable purpose in life and positive ways to use your energy

I think a lot of us can’t seem to give up our struggle with crossdressing we don’t take life very seriously.  We don’t get much fulfillment out of other things in life.  We are just ticking the time away, not working hard at our jobs, not finding ways to contribute to the world and help other people.  We have no ultimate purpose in life, such as the purpose of loving God, living for him, and loving other people because of God’s love for us.  If life is pretty meaningless for you, and nothing really stretches you, or gives you joy and fulfillment, then of course you’d keep turning back to crossdressing or pornography for fleeting pleasures.  So my first piece of advice here again is to find your ultimate purpose and meaning in life in God.  And then figure out what his specific purpose is for you in your life.  What has he created you to do?  How can he use you to impact the world and make it a better place in some small but meaningful ways?  Consider reading “The Purpose Driven Life.”

Besides just finding a purpose in life, we need positive ways to use our energy.  Volunteering, helping people out, fun hobbies, and getting involved in church are just a few ways to learn how to spend our time differently.  Instead of spending all of our free time hiding in closets in our wives’ clothes, we can do things that have value, and things that help others.  Try something new.  Read some good books.  Stretch yourself out of your comfort zone.  Find some adventure in life beyond crossdressing.

I also include in this step rediscovering who we are as men.  Start letting your male traits out.  Enjoy being a man.  Have your wife affirm your manhood.  Upgrade your male wardrobe.  Enjoy taking care of your appearance as a man.  Enjoy looking good as a man.  Randall Wayne has wrote some on this.  Our perspectives might be slightly different, but he’s got a lot of good stuff to say in his testimony – here.

Find out what the Bible says about true manhood and personhood.  Many of the stereotypes about masculinity and femininity in our culture are at best stifling, and at worst destructive, and may even have contributed to our developing desires for crossdressing.  Learn to integrate the contrasting aspects of your personality that were divided into your male self and crossdressing self.  Be a whole complete human being.  Those aspects of your personality that you stifled in order to be a man of our culture, and which came out in your crossdressing times, integrate them into your real self.

I have written a very thorough post about this process – An Alternative Method: Integration and Contentment

My friends have some helpful thoughtful posts along these lines.
Underlying feelings wants needs
In search of unification
Contrasting Aspects

Last, a little tidbit.  Take your desire for female beauty and interest in fashion and point it towards your girlfriend or wife.  Talk to her about fashion and what you find beautiful. Go shopping with her and help her find things that look good on her.  You can enjoy the female clothes in the way they were supposed to be enjoyed by you, that is, on your wife or girlfriend.  This way you can utilize your healthy attention to female beauty in a healthy non-deceitful way.  A friend has a helpful post on this.
Insights from Outlets


10. Make peace with the reality that the temptations might never go away.

Like most temptations to sin, the reality is that the temptations might never completely go away.  This is just the reality and should not make us depressed.  Treat crossdressing like an addiction.  An alcoholic might always have certain small desires to drink, but they continue to resist the rest of their life.  Similarly, we might desire it at times for the rest of our lives, but we can still resist.  And we can still lead a healthy fulfilling life.  To read more about this, please read my post – Healing doesn’t mean no more temptations.

But don’t focus so much on the future,  just to take things one day at a time.  The day’s problems and temptations are enough to worry about.

I would like to encourage you though that it is of course possible for your crossdressing desires to completely go away.  Each person is different and there are some who seem to have no more temptations.   For me, my crossdressing desires are largely nonexistent these days.  Once in a while, rarely, I’ll have some crossdressing temptations, but they’ve become easy to resist.  I think that for any of us who stop crossdressing, after the first really hard withdrawal period, the crossdressing temptations slowly start to lessen in strength.  For more about my experience with lessening temptations, you can read my “progress reports.”


11.  Deal with failure in a healthy way.

If you fail, spend time confessing to God and enjoying his forgiveness, and then get going again in your fight against crossdressing.  Don’t let Satan use your failure for evil.  Satan hits us hard in our failures.  He loves to make us wallow in condemnation, thinking we aren’t good enough to be forgiven by God.  It’s true we aren’t good enough, but God forgives us because of his merciful and loving nature, not because we deserve forgiveness.  And Satan also likes to use failure to make us think we have no power over sin and so we might as well give up.  But God promises us that he has given us the power to resist any temptation that comes our way.  See my post – Healing doesn’t mean no more temptations.

Satan also likes to encourage us to conquer sin using our own strength.  This only leads to failure or pride.  The true way to fight sin, is to find joy in God’s forgiveness, and be transformed by that forgiveness and grace.  Then we fight sin, not for our own pride, not using our own strength, but we do it with God’s strength.  We fight sin out of thanksgiving for God’s grace, not in order to earn God’s grace.  Keep going back to God’s forgiveness and grace.  It should be the motivation for all the good that we do.  We aren’t trying to earn anything.
See how I dealt with a depressing failure here – Progress Report 1-30-13 – How I successfully fought temptation…but then failed.


12.  Try to understand yourself more deeply.

I’m convinced that an important part of the healing process from crossdressing, is trying to understand ourselves more deeply.  Rather than just stopping crossdressing and leaving it in the past, we should spend some time researching, studying, and thinking about what caused us to develop the crossdressing desires we have.  But be careful about doing this.  Wait until you’ve successfully stopped crossdressing for a while, otherwise studying it and thinking about it could cause you to stumble.

When you are in a safe place in your journey of giving up crossdressing ask yourself these questions.  What emotions and thoughts were going on behind the actions and behind the temptations?  Think about how crossdressing has shaped your personality both positively and negatively.  How did God use this part of your past for good, or how will he use it for good?  Think through gender issues.  Think through personality issues.  Think through the ways crossdressing has affected your life.  You could also consider seeing a counselor to help you work through these issues, but realize you may know far more about crossdressing and its effects than your counselor.  It’s a subject that hasn’t been studied enough.  Further, many counselors seem to think its harmless and don’t realize how destructive it can be.

On my site and the sites of my fellow fighters, there are plenty of thoughtful posts that think through these types of questions.  I won’t link to all of them because I could link to dozens from each site.  But here is a friend’s post about this process itself of discovery and understanding ourselves.
A narrow way

You can start working through my full blog post list – https://healingcd.wordpress.com/most-important-posts/


Conclusion – I hope these steps have been helpful to you.  There’s obviously much more that could be said.  But this is a beginning.  Feel free to contact me.  Let me know if you would like prayer.  Friendly criticisms and disagreements are accepted as well.  If I’ve overlooked a post on your website that would be helpful to link to, please don’t take offense.  I linked to these ones because they are ones I remembered.  If you have others to suggest please tell me and I can always add them if I find them helpful.  Thank you for reading.


165 comments on “12 Steps to Stop Crossdressing

  1. Mike says:

    I don’t have a wife, so i feel like recovery from this is impossible. I want to stop, I wish I could, I feel hopeless


  2. thorin25 says:

    Mike, I want to tell you clearly that I do not believe recovery is impossible for anyone. Let me ask you something first, are you a Christian? Do you have a relationship with Jesus?

    I hope you do, let me know. But even if you do not, I still think recovery is possible for you. Let’s talk more


  3. Mike M says:

    Ive been cross dressing off and on for years now but i made the biggest mistake of not telling my wife the truthand my struggle with this and now she does not want to be with me no more and we have 4kids. I am a Christian and been asking God to help me but i ran to the vomit and was caught again.me and my wife talked about this b4 lots of times but its now gotten worse. Its coming down to divorce im sure of it but ive prayed asking God to save are marriage and i know he will but its all up to me now with his help. And me contacting you would be a first step for me. Can u help me please.


  4. thorin25 says:

    Mike I will pray for you right now, and ask our Lord to please save your marriage and bring healing and reconciliation for you both, and victory over your sin. But you have to do the hard work. I recommend you continue to read the posts on my site. Repent and confess to your wife. Make a commitment to never do this sin again. Get an accountability partner. Talk to your pastor. Join our email prayer group of other men who struggle with this same sin of crossdressing so you can get their prayer and support – https://healingcd.wordpress.com/email-prayer-chain/

    Pray and fill your mind with God’s Word. Ask your wife to forgive you and tell her you are going to do what it takes to fight this sin and heal from this brokenness. I am sad that she is not more willing to listen and forgive and move on in healing together with you instead of immediately going to divorce, but I don’t know all of your history and perhaps she has already been patient for years waiting for you to stop giving in to this secret sin.

    You are in a tough spot, but with God there is always hope. Keep praying, let this be a huge time or change in your life, not only from breaking away from this sin finally, but in growing in your relationship with God. I have a page here for wives too if your wife wants some support from other women – https://healingcd.wordpress.com/wives-of-crossdressers-chat/

    I recommend you tell your wife about this site, she can read here to understand more about this condition, and also to find new hope that other men have quit and other marriages have healed. Showing her this site or at least telling her about it might help to show her also that you are taking this seriously and want to change.

    Ultimately you cannot control your wife. She should forgive you, it’s what God has commanded us to do, but you cannot force her to do so. And I do think like me, you’ve been unfaithful to your marriage and so it’s legitimate grounds for divorce, but if I was her pastor I’d be steering her away from divorce and viewing it as a last ditch option only to be gone to if you were not repenting and not trying to change. I hope she can see it that way also.

    This is a critical moment in your life. But there is hope. God is good, all the time, and I pray that he uses this moment to break your bondage to sin, and help both you and your wife to together be amazed at God’s grace and forgiveness (for you both, not just you), and together see that God can bring transformation and healing in your lives.


  5. Thorin25,Thanks for leaving a reply on my reply, and my name is Casey, and I don’t wear diapers as a sexual fetish, personally it’s not a fetish, but something to calm me down there is a difference between wearing an item of clothing for a fetish(aka for sexual gratification), or wearing an item for security and comfort. and Technically, I only wear diapers in time of turmoil or stress or on long car trips more than 50 miles one way and that’s usually the only time i wear them the rest of the time i wear my regular brief boxers(brief boxers are a combination of men’s boxer shorts and men’s tighty whitey underwear(but comes in more colors than white). let me try to be clearer to you,i don’t get sexual pleasure from wearing diaper or any other type of clothing, the diapers are just to calm a person down to make them think more like a child to understand reason and logic, and God the father told me himself, i can wear diapers as long as it doesn’t interfere with my relationship with him or others but i can’t wear the diapers all the time which i don’t considering if people did start wearing diaper 24/7 365 days a year then if they would want to go back to their regular underwear they couldn’t considering by forcing themselves to wear diapers they would have to re-potty train themselves but I don’t want to lose my bowel function and only need to wear diapers for comfort and security and not by necessity(incontinent people), the other way i used to handle stress was more of a crazier way and could be put into the nuthouse if you handle the stress in public, The way i used to handle stress beside the old crossdressing which i stopped thank you, god, was by making monkey/gorilla noises, and if you made those noise out in public or at your job then most likely you might’ve been fired so i held my stress in until i got home. and I still sometimes make those gorilla noise but mostly i rely on diapers to calm me down but I don’t wear them all the time because I don’t want to become incontinent(once you become incontinent wearing diapers become more of a necessity than calming down effect) and I never use diaper for as a sexual fetish(aka sexual gratification, aka sexual pleasure), why do i wear diapers on long car trips even only 50 miles one way well, because last time i took a road trip to Madison, GA(madison city, not madison county, ga) and that 50 miles from where I live, and I was trying out my new GPS(Global Positioning System), to find a horseback riding range in Madison City, GA; and I usually use the shortest distance, longer time routes, and went on back roads with gravel dirt roads,and I just a soda to drink and gravel makes you pee alot faster and there was no gas station in site and (technically if you pulled over and peed on a tree you could get arrested for public indecency that’s a law in georgia which means 1 to 3 days in jail) and if it wasn’t for an old timey gas station 10 miles before i reached the horseback riding range, i’d probably pee in pants which would be embarrassing.and then i found the horseback riding range and then i went home on the same day and i was testing out my gps and bladder to see if i could do a long car trip without having to stop by the bathroom 10 to 15 times and yes I’m a 24 yr heterosexual(straight), genetic(xy chromosome) male and I still present myself as such. and diapers doesn’t necessarily break gods rules considering what was the old fashioned type of underwear they wore in biblical time most people would say today, that’s not underwear that’s a cloth diaper(and yes people today would probably say that.) and diapers are unisex not specifically made for one gender or another well, old fashioned diapers that is. which is what i buy but i don’t use the diapers for a sexual fetish/sexual gratification/sexual pleasure(in other word, the ones who use diapers as a fetish cum in their diapers which i don’t.just saying if you didn’t know the meaning of the words). I only wear diapers to handle stress and comfort and security and on long car trips only. Sorry i was rambling because diapers to some people might be a sexual fetish(which means those people cum in their diapers, but i do not which means I don’t use diapers as a sexual fetish, I use them for convenience for long car trips and for to handle my stress, and for comfort and security. That’s what i use diapers for.


  6. thorin25 says:

    Casey, even if it’s not sexual, can’t you see that that isn’t what God intended? That we are supposed to find comfort in him, not in pretending to be a baby? This is psychological dysfunction, even if not sexual dysfunction. I’m not judging you. We all have our problems, But i encourage you to see a counselor about this.

    1 Corinthians 13 – . 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.


  7. Paul says:

    Hi. I have been crossdressing since i was 12. I am now 38 years old. I want to stop as i am jeopardising losing my family. My wife found some of my tights in drawer. The last time this happened a couple of years ago i promised i would never do this again. If i ever did she would leave me. I do not want to lose my wife but need some sort of help so i never
    crossdress again. I am not a religous person but would appreciate some help or guidance that you can offer.


  8. thorin25 says:

    It’s okay to be at this site and look for help even if you are not religious. There are tons of good posts for you to read and get help from.

    You certainly are not alone of all the crossdressing men who have destroyed their families, jobs, and lives. You can stop. The desires might not all go away, but you are able to stop and have self control, and still live a fulfilling life. Stopping is so worth it. Living in addiction and confusion is not healthy.

    I encourage you to read more of my posts to get your ideas and tips of how to stop –

    But I do hope you will take some time to think about the big picture of life, what is life about, is God real, and what is the purpose of life….


  9. Henry Ateris says:

    I have been a crossdresser for years look good very passable and can even do the voice,the moves,mannerisms all of it .I used to have guys trying to pick me up all night( I refused as I’m straight) when I went out a lot in the late 90’s and had a great bunch of friends in Toronto.It was fun but after an entire night I’d often had enough.I did this nearly every other week for nearly 4 years,expensive hobby as it is.
    I also had over the years 5 girlfriends who encouraged it and dressed me fully some got a kick out of it BUT like all things I believe most women have an expiration date in regards to how long they will be accepting.My last gf of almost 7 years was amazing with it but once I got into a deep depression and started to question my sexuality she automatically considered me just like Bruce Jenner/Caitlyn which I know more than ever I am not.I am currently on antidepressants and now see things much clearly,I’m more driven, more focused and know what I want finally after many years of struggling with all kinds. Women don’t mind many of us wearing a few things here and there BUT ultimately they like being the girl and want a MAN beside them they like the security of feeling safe and another woman being there will eventually turn her off. I should know.
    My last gf has told her new guy and perhaps her entire family as they will no longer reply to me in any way.I wish I could reaffirm to her that I am more man than when she first met me and regret any turmoil I put her through,dressing + depression ruined a once loving relationship,I thought she was to be my wife and would do anything to change her mind about me.

    Crossdressing is ultimately a relationship destroyer in many cases as in my own.I want to be free of ANY and all desire for the rest of my life ,thanks so much for any leads and a very well written site, Good Luck friend H


  10. fighting hard says:

    hi i am a 15 year old kid from an asian country.i first started crossdressing when i was about 6,i don’t know why.i saw one of my sisters dresses .and i just did it.from that time on i have become a person who crossdress nearly 2 times a day.and then i masturbate .and in the end feel awful about myself.
    i have gotten caught twice by my grandmother,who didn’t understand what i was doing and just asked me to stop.but i started again.
    but i recently thought of going online to find some help,because my culture,it really doesn’t let me tell others my temptations and anyway i am too afraid.but when i found this site it was really helpful.
    i realize it wont be easy to stop.but i will.i may not have been a christian but after reading all those posts i also have realized the greatness of god.so from the bottom of my heart i thank the writer of this post , for he just saved a whole life from evil and sin.

    thank you.


  11. thorin25 says:

    Fighting hard, thank you for coming here and commenting. I truly hope my site helps you. It is very possible to stop crossdressing. You can find change and healing and learn contentment as a man as well as finding relief from this sexual addiction. But it takes work like you said. I highly encourage you to continue to read more and more of my posts and articles on this website.

    In addition, please continue to think more about your relationship with God. Read this and if you are interested in learning more about God and the Christian faith, I can give you some resources or books online to read. Just let me know if you’d like to read more.

    You can read the Bible online for free at http://www.biblegateway.com. A good place to begin would be to read the Gospel of John – https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=john+1&version=NIV

    If you want to want to read about some basic Christian beliefs, let me know!

    I pray that God would continue to reveal himself to you and that he would use this time not only to help you get rid of crossdressing, but to give you meaning and purpose in life in Him.


  12. Temptedsinner says:

    Dear Fighting Hard.
    Thank you for your bravery and wisdom to see and admit that this has become a problem.
    How or why we take that first step that seems so innocent… many of us will never know.
    As you said you are a 15 year old kid! Please do not do as I and many others have done and become a slave to this for 20, 30 or 40 years. It is very lonely and it separates us from our creator and keeps us from being the men we were born to be..
    Please continue to read and comment on this site. Your testimony may encourage other young men to see a need for change in their own lives.

    Thank you for speaking up!



  13. Temptedsinner says:

    There is much truth in what you have written.
    Please feel free to share more as you read other posts.
    Thanks for sharing


  14. James says:

    Cross-dressing is not an addiction per say it is built into us which is down to emotion feelings. I believe no-one chooses to cd they just do because it is right for them, if this is the case they should embrace it and therefore there wouldn’t be a reason to stop.


  15. thorin25 says:

    James, how do we determine what desires are “us” and what are “not us.” Our my selfish desires part of “who I am?” Or should those desires be resisted? See this post and give me your thoughts –


  16. Thorin25, thanks for saying that verse, because I knew it was somewhere, and Technically the verse you mentioned also applies to the maturity and mental age the human not just the physically chronological age of the human, just so you know.
    and the verse you’ve given me was this: 1 Corinthians 13:11, I think that was the correct one;

    “When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.”

    I believe that this verse applies to the mental state or mental age of the human in question. as well as the chronological age too. and psychiatrists just want to take your money from you. And Like I said before “I only wear diapers in times in turmoil and stress”, which means only when I’m stressed out, or when I’m on long car trips that are more than 50 miles one way, one reason to save time and not waste time looking for a bathroom because well, last time I went a car trip to madison, ga(madison city, ga) from my oglethorpe county, ga, during this trip i didn’t wear diapers at all during this trip and i went the back way to get there, but in the middle of the trip i had to pee very badly and there were no trees in sight or anything of the sort, because here in the south, you can get arrested for peeing on the side of the street, and what they would call that would be public indecency which can land you a day or 2 in jail maybe even a week in jail, so i had to try to hold it until i could find a place to use the bathroom and luckily i found a old mom and pop gas station store, 5 miles or more before my destination. I had to pee like, remember the movie “Carpool(1996) The one with Tom Arnold,I pee like Andrew, when Franklin Lazlo played by Tom Arnold said “There goes my record” which means he had a record of how long he had to pee and how much he could possibly hold and stuff.That is what I mean, And Diaper wearing true are usually meant for babies, senior citizen folks with Alzheimer’s Disease as well as some disability folk as well which means incontinent folk. And How do doctors test your bladder and bowels in the first place anyways? Why because I was in a car wreck in 2008 late 2008 and after that car wreck, I had problems with going to the bathroom(number 2 mostly) because my intestines hurt(present and past tense) each and every time i had to go to the bathroom for number 2 and now today my intestines or bowels hurt only if i hold in my bowels for too long. Can a person have a bruised or scarred tissue in their bowels or intestines, because I think that wreck in 2008 left either scar tissue or bowel problems for me mostly, but Had to continue my reasoning.

    I have a question for you thorin25, what if a person is incontinent, would they be allowed to wear diapers or not? and since the verse you mention doesn’t necessarily excluded incontinent people does it?


  17. thorin25 says:

    Casey, of course there is no problem with wearing diapers if you are incontinent. I surely see why some adults (especially elderly) need to wear them.

    Sorry, but in your original comment you didn’t make it sound like this was the real reason. If I am honest and blunt, it sounds like you are using the lack of bathrooms or feelings of incontinency, as your excuse to rationalize to yourself why you need to wear them. In your original comment you talked about how diapers give you security and comfort and help with your stress. That tells me this is a psychological issue, perhaps due to trauma in childhood? I don’t know. But to me it is common sense that a healthy person would not find comfort and security in wearing diapers, and even more so, a Christian finds there comfort and security in God, not in wearing women’s clothing, wearing diapers, etc.

    Do you really think you couldn’t hold your pee in? In your normal life do you ever find yourself barely making it to the bathroom?

    To me, there seems to be a lot of overlap between sexual fetishes and other odd habits that people do for stress, anxiety, and comfort. For example, crossdressing is clearly a sexual fetish for many people, but for those same people it can reduce stress, anxiety, and bring comfort (although it can increase stress and anxiety after the fact). Other crossdressers say they do it only for comfort and reducing stress, with no sex involved. Other crossdressers say they do it to let out their feminine side or to feel like themselves, with no sex involved. But I think something can be sexual even if there is no masturbation involved. Just as my marriage is still sexual even when I’m not turned on. I enjoy time with my wife even when not having sex. In a similar way, crossdressers or diaper wearers may enjoy that time with their fetish, even when not masturbating.

    Just go to a transgender fiction site and see all the stories about crossdressing, and all the stories about diapering. It’s a fetish for many people.

    I find some security in wearing a seatbelt in the car, but that makes sense. A seatbelt logically makes me more safe. Think logically about wearing diapers or women’s clothing. Neither logically should give us comfort or security or reduce stress. That should tell you clearly there is something broken psychologically going on. I recommend seeing a counselor about this. Trying to understand how this developed in you in the first place could be helpful.

    The verse in context is talking about spiritual maturity. But Paul is using natural age and maturity as an analogy to talk about spiritual maturity. Because it is common sense, in Paul’s time, and in ours, that children grow up into adults and are no longer to act like children.

    Casey, I feel for you. This is an embarrassing problem and it takes courage even to talk about it here on this site. And I know you did not choose to feel this way. I know it’s hard. But I wanted to write to you clearly what I think about this, and hope you are willing to think it through


  18. Thorin25, thanks for that informative reply, but also, who do i go to for intestinal problems, what is the name of that particular study that involves intestinal which doctor should i go to for intestinal problems, like I said, before, I was in a car wreck on Oct. 3, 2008, I was t-boned on the passengers and i was turning into a stores’ parking lot which had 2 driveways, 1 from the highway to the road i lived on. and when there was a curve and hill together coming from the west going to the east, and I was going west while the car that crashed into me was going east. and I was wearing a seatbelt, of course, but i thought a car was turning into my road, or culd have been some other car, a green car i think might have been turning into my road, then a white car swerved across the double yellow line. and then t-boned, right before i made it inside the parking and was t-boned and that impact of the crash pushed the car nearly 5 feet from the driveway but i blacked out once the car hit me, so i don’t know if the car overturned and landed on it’s tires or was just pushed hard and why do i think it had overturned on me, because there was a dent in the roof after the crash which was there before. But after that crash i had panic attacks and didn’t drive for almost nearly half a year(6 months) and after that crash i had problem with going to the bathroom literally, meaning i could make it to the bathroom, but everytime i had to go number 2 or poop, it hurt so bad that it took nearly an hour for me to finish pooping for nearly 6 weeks to 2 months(8 weeks). and the pain went away after nearly 2 months and no, I didn’t get checked out by medical professionals after the wreck happened considering we had some financial problems. which is the reason why i didn’t get checked out. but i thought after those 2 months after the pain stopped hurting me, I thought I was over with the pain, but I was wrong, now every time i try to hold my bowels in for tooooo long the pain starts up again only if i hold in bowels for too long or when I eat spicy foods and I still live with my parents, and my dad goes to sleep around 9pm, and so technically we have only 1 bathroom after my dad goes to sleep, i can’t use the bathroom outside or wouldn’t i get arrested for public indecency or something of the sort? and every time i have to use the bathroom, my mother or my sister is always in there at the same time ive got to use the bathroom and we have only 2 bathrooms in all in our modular home(Manufactured home), 1 near my and my sister’s bedroom, and 1 in my dad’s and mom’s bedroom the master bedroom and no, my mom has medical problems so she can’t sleep in her bedroom anymore so she sleeps in the living room in a recliner chair, to control her snoring and other medical problems that she has. and What medical problems does my mom have, my mom has rheumatoid arthritis(RA), Osteoarthritis(OA) and hypothyroidism and when my mom’s thyroid acts up her legs swell to nearly the size of a baby’s elephants legs( or a premature baby’s elephant’s legs to clear things up) and no that is not a euphemism that is the truth and so my mom doesn’t go into my dad’s bedroom when she has to use bathroom after he goes to sleep. but before he goes to sleep she does but sometimes when my sister is in the bathroom, my mom is in the other bathroom and sometimes i have to go number 2 so bad that you can actually hear gurgling sounds coming from the gut. and not sure if that is normal or not, but i don’t think it’s normal. Had to explain my bladder and bowel problems in full so you could understand it better.


  19. zahdah says:

    Hi Casey,
    I’ve read each of your posts, and to be honest, they all sound like an excuse to do what you want. I’ve been through that with numerous people (alcoholic, CDing, drug addiction, depression). The question is, do you want healing or permission? I have found if people try to convince me that what they are doing is ok, they already know it’s not.


  20. To Thorin25 and Zahdah, I just asked if i need to go to a doctor or something like maybe a psychiatrist as well, and well, do people, have bruised intestines or not? for example: my parents have humongous and numerous medical problems that can be cured with a flick of a switch, these medical problems my parents have,well, will be part of a med school’s textbook, and to be honest, I’m not sure if seeing a psychiatrist would be the right answer for the diaper wearing sure, but should i tell them the entire story considering that the devil uses doctors as well as psychiatrists to do his dirty work as well, so who do i trust and who can trust. this website yes, i know i can trust to a certain extent, and no, they are not an excuse well, i don’t think they are at least, i’m just telling you what god told me, here is one of the passages from my autobiography that i’ve written:

    And This is to you, religious fanatics out there.

    No, Diaper wearing is not a sin in and of itself, it only becomes a sin, if you let the diaper wearing interfere with your relationship with God.keyword “interfere”. And That’s the only time it ever becomes a sin. I only wear diapers like I mentioned here in my life story. And God always comes first. then after I spend my time with God, Then If I’m going somewhere like grocery shopping I wear diapers, depending on what day it is and depending on what time it is as well, because even though grocery stores have those self- checkout they still have long lines as well. but if at home alone, then i wear normal boxer briefs.And Like I said, before, A sin is something that always comes first before you put god first and if that happens then whatever you put first before God. “Then” it becomes a sin. You are always supposed to put God himself first in your life, then family, then the diaper wearing, Since I always put God first my diaper wearing is not a sin at all.

    and this is what god himself told me to say not the devil, god, how do i know this is because God takes into account your chronological age and your mental age as well, and determines the best possible way to help you succeed and remember it took me nearly 7 to 8 to possibly 12 yrs before i finally stopped crossdressing, and i think either i might have started at one point in my childhood crossdressing at a young age, if you count pull-up diapers as a version of cross-dressing and stuff. but still some diapers are unisex, which is what i wear and have you lived my life, yes or no. And How do i know this is what god says, is because every time i ask god a question, i wait for a sign the next morning and what is the sign,well do you remember what the air smelled like right after you got baptized? if you don’t that’s fine, well, i do, the smell i smelled was cinnamon rolls, and it was the winter of course, but nobody makes cinnamon rolls around 12pm, well i don’t think they do, and i looked around trying to figure out where the smell was coming from, looked at each of the house near my church, and business and farmers markets and not one of them was selling or eating cinnamon rolls, so how could i have smelled cinnamon rolls if no one cooked them or was cooking them. then i figured it was a sign from god, to tell me of his presence. he might smell differently to each believer but the love is there for sure. So every time i wait for that same sign each and every time i will be able to hear an answer that day.when i smelled cinnamon rolls and i’ve always listened with my whole heart, it might not seem like it to you, but i do listen and just so you know, I haven’t worn diapers for a while in the first place, but later on down the road, i fear that i might go incontinent or something. and why i haven’t worn diapers is because 1. don’t have the money, 2. i spend whatever money i do make on my pets, and guess how many dogs, i have, i have 7 dogs, 2 outside, and 5 inside, and yes I plan on keeping all of them, just in case you thought about asking.3. I’m trying to build a pen for the inside dogs so i take put them in the pens instead of inside the house. 4. I’m saving up whatever is left over to buy a house considering I still live with my parents and whatever the house costs you want to live in you have to put a down payment of whatever the full price of the house is. So as of this moment, I haven’t worn diapers since the dogs were born in the first place which was when sometime around early to mid 2014. And I had to become more responsible for my pets and stuff. and so i had to reorganize my habits agains,so its now God First, Family Second(Family sometimes includes pets), then the hobbies or habits you have. and some people put pets like this:God first, Family Second, Pets third, and the habit last and so my diaper wearing is almost non existent very rare, why because 1. too expensive, i need money to build the pens outside for my dogs and do you know how much galvanized steel posts are, 9 dollars -13 dollars per post. and you need 8 for one, and i barely make enough money to build this pen at once, so any money i ever do make always goes straight to the dogs pens or medical bills.

    And what if a person or if I do become incontinent at a young age and yes, young folk can become incontinent “without forcing themselves to be”and do you know what one of the causes of incontinence usually is,, yes that’s right, one of the cause would be trauma to the spinal cord and the spinal cord, can get damaged in a car wreck as well., and what about the down syndrome people some people believe that those people wear diapers, including epilesy folk and other medical disease ridden folk as well, and now are those people breaking god’s law for not putting the diapers away or something of the sort. if not, then that’s splitting hairs, if you ask me, just saying.


  21. thorin25 says:

    Casey, I’m not sure why you are telling us all of this. I am not an expert on doctors and bowel problems. If you do have a bowel problem, you certainly shouldn’t be managing it on your own, but rather seeing a doctor.

    As far as your motivation for wearing diapers, one simple question to ask yourself would be this: Did you start wearing diapers before or after the accident?

    In the end, you need to make your own decision. But with the information I’ve got from you, I don’t have all the answers for you. I hold by the things I said before, and would also suggest a psychologist/doctor.

    Hope you aren’t feeling attacked by me. I was just giving you my opinion. We can leave it there


  22. thorin25 after the accident why considering i sometimes woke up with shitty underwear 2 times per week after maybe 3 times per week after that accident. and sorry for cussing and please forgive me for cussing


  23. Adam says:

    iam in trouble
    iam Adam , before I used to be strong spiritually , later going through different website like youtube , pintreast etc . I started to see crossdressing comics and animations , and what happens is that , when I see these things , semen comes out , and I am being totally sad like why did I do this thing , in this way iam suffering , I want to grow stronger spiritually , how can I overcome this , I wrote in my diary that from this day I wont do this thing …. but it ended up in vain , please explain me what shall I do for this issue


  24. thorin25 says:

    Adam, you are not alone. Many of us have sexually desires connected to crossdressing, that we did not choose to have, and that have turned into addiction. The answers to your question are on this blog. I encourage you to reread the above post carefully and start reading the other posts I’ve linked to from this one. After you’ve been reading for a while, please keep in touch with me and ask followup questions. I will pray for you right now


  25. Clare says:

    I just want to stop crossdressing


  26. thorin25 says:

    It is very possible to stop! You have to decide if you really want to stop and put the effort in or not


  27. Gavin says:

    Hi. Thank you for your site. I have been searching over the Internet for sites to help with crossdressing and its realted issues but most seem to say it’s not possible to stop and just embrace it. I’ve have been crossdressing since I was a child on and off and still do now in my 40’s. Many times I have tried to stop and been successful for a while but I always come back to it and nowadays I seem more accepting to it which is not what I want.
    Because of failing so many times I feel it’s hopeless. I do have a Christian background
    But even that has distanced me fro God.
    I am happily married but know one day I will get caught. My other problem is that it has led me to have bisexual tendencies and I have visited transgender escorts(mainly for crossdressing, although at times there has been interaction) Afterwards I am consumed with guilt and vow to stop but like I said it always comes back.
    I just want a normal life and not to be
    consumed by this sexual sin. But I find the pull is to great. These days society and self help sites seem to say just embrace it, and what scares me is my thinking is starting To go that way. I have tried so many times to stop, it’s just seems hopeless


  28. thorin25 says:

    Stopping is very possible. Tons of men have already done so. Is it difficult? Yes. But you can do it. Follow these steps. And have hope that it is possible.

    The Christian life is one of struggle, daily denying ourselves, to follow Christ. We will not be perfect in this life, and we will fail at times. But we must keep on repenting and keep on trying to live for Christ.

    You can do this. I will pray for you right now. I also request that you think about joining our prayer group so that we can together we can help you to quit – https://healingcd.wordpress.com/email-prayer-chain/

    Please keep reading through my blog posts as well, as it will give you hope and strategies to quit.


  29. Temptedsinner says:

    Hey Gavin
    I too have tried many time to quit, not only crossdressing but also other online activities and have failed. Failed countless times until one time I went for about 9 months. Then with my palms sweating, hands shaking I clicked my way back into my old favorite site. It took me a while to muster up the courage to try and stop again, once I did I was able to string together 14 months without CDing or masturbation. Once again I went on a binge. It didn’t take long to regret getting back into this sin. All the same old crap that never fulfilled my ever increasing fantasies and desires. I have quit again and it was much easier to get back on the wagon with each time that I am truly repentant of my sins and pray to be the man that God created me to be.
    This isn’t a sprint to the finish line, it’s a marathon. It took a long time to become desensitized to the things you now find arousing. It is going to take a long time to turn your heart away from the things of this world and back towards God.
    Likely you will fail, slip and fall….. The sooner that you dust yourself off and start walking with Christ again the easier it becomes. Forget about beating yourself up after a failure, learn from it and grow. These sexual addictions are nasty because there is nowhere that we can hide. (unless you have a cave to live in). But they are beatable. Have Faith, in God ! Have Hope in a better tomorrow ! Have Love for your wife family and friends.

    We’ll all be praying for you


    Liked by 1 person

  30. Gavin says:

    Thanks all for the motivating replies and prayers
    I’ve taken that step. Got rid of all my clothes
    And deleted all the websites.
    Been three days now and feeling good.
    Made up a modified 12step program and
    Determined to succeed. I know it’s a long road
    Ahead but I will get there. “Through God all things are possible!
    It feels good to wake up in the morning
    On a new path.
    Thanks again for making me believe that it is
    Possible to stop.

    Liked by 1 person

  31. Snip says:


    It is fully possible to stop. You can do it with Christ. While my own addiction is unique (everyone’s addiction is unique) and had different interactions with CD than many here (I’ve never fully dressed, only shoes and a couple of tops among some other small items), there are a lot of similarities(like fantasizing). I’ve found most of what thorin has written on this blog to apply to me directly. You can do this. You are not alone in this struggle.

    It’s been more than 2.5 years since I acted out my addiction. If I can do it, so can you.

    I don’t know why I felt to share what I have, but maybe something I’ve said has helped you.

    I pray for all those who are afflicted with this addiction and by this addiction, that they may have God’s grace each day through Jesus Christ.

    Liked by 1 person

  32. Temptedsinner says:

    Thanks Snip
    to answer your question….
    “I don’t know why I felt to share what I have, ”
    Let’s call it the Holy Spirit 🙂
    We have all been silent too long

    Liked by 1 person

  33. thorin25 says:

    Wonderful to log in and see such encouraging comments of support. And Gavin, well done for this new commitment. Celebrate it, it’s an achievement in itself just to come to this decision. These other guys took the words right out of my mouth. So instead I’ll just take some time to keep praying for you. Keep in good communication for us, and remember you are welcome to join our prayer group if you are interested.


  34. TDB says:


    I struggled with cross dressing from the age of 7 till 24 but then through prayer and healing overcame the addiction.

    However, 2 years ago at a wedding a conversation with someone explained why it started when I was 7 and triggered off old feelings. Shortly after I went to see a non-Christian counsellor for help, but they just tried to enable me all the more and tried to convince me I’m gay.

    Since then I’ve been struggling more since the counsellor made it feel like it was ok. I’m not married, but I want to be and don’t want to carry this problem into marriage.

    Prayers are appreciated


  35. thorin25 says:

    TDB, thank you for the comment. I’m sorry to hear that your old feelings for CD have come back. Sad to say these feelings will probably be with us more or less until Jesus comes back and makes us new and perfect. All Christians struggle with sin, meaning being tempted, until the end. We just have different temptations than other Christians.

    I’m sorry about your experience with the counselor. The reality is that most counselors, whether Christian or secular, do not understand both crossdressing and transgenderism all that well. And so many of them, whether secular or Christian, go along with the mainstream media messages about it, oblivious to the deep seated personal confusion people have who are involved in these things, and the ways these have destroyed the lives of so many. Don’t give in to what the counselor told you. You know very well it’s not true. I don’t even need to convince you. You are just using it as a rationalization to give yourself a good excuse to sin. Stop, and go back to living rightly as you were before 🙂

    But if you need some logical convincing, read this post and the ones linked to it – https://healingcd.wordpress.com/2013/07/08/summary-of-why-crossdressing-is-sinfulharmful/

    I will pray for you right now. Change is possible again as it was before. I encourage you to keep reading the posts on this site and consider joining our prayer group –

    One more note – as far as marriage, in a way the temptations will only get more difficult in marriage, not less, so don’t look at marriage as a solution. What you said is really good, try to learn how to be in power over the addiction now, find healing now, before you get married.


  36. Charlie says:

    I remember growing up and trying on female clothing here and there, but it was never anything that really caught my interest in a big way. I got married about 5 years ago and now have 3 kids. Within the last year though, it really hit me that I needed to crossdress every day if I could. So I did, but my work began to suffer and I started questioning my sexuality. Most importantly though, I could not talk to God without my inner conversation being instantly shut down because I knew deep down what I was doing was wrong, no matter how many people on the internet told me that it was ok. So I took all of the cross dressing stuff and got rid of it. Every last bit. I’ve done this before, but this time I will not be going back. Last time I quit, an opportunity presented itself to me to inherit a large amount of clothing I fell for it. It felt like a test and I failed. So now, I am done. I feel 100% better in every way. And now I can focus on real problems. Luckily, I was never caught and I never told anyone I know (or felt the need to), so I’m putting it in the past and trusting God to help keep me on the right path. Thank you for this page and letting me share here. I wish you all the best.

    “We fight sin out of thanksgiving for God’s grace, not in order to earn God’s grace.” Amen!


  37. thorin25 says:

    Thank you Charlie for the testimony! I certainly hope that you are done with it for good. It is possible to never give in again, even if the temptations come.

    But don’t get lazy. Be vigilant always.

    Check out this post, to give you some ideas – https://healingcd.wordpress.com/2014/12/31/no-more-half-measures/

    Also, I welcome you to our email prayer group. Being in the group will give you a chance to encourage and pray for others who are trying to quit. And it’s a way to use this terrible thing in your life for good. Furthermore, by praying for others who are struggling and hearing their stories, it will help to remind you not to go back, as a dog goes back to its vomit.



  38. Lisa says:

    Congratulations Charlie. I’m sure it helps having a good wife behind you. Well done and all the power to you. Praise God for helping you through the urges to cross dress.


  39. roycebenchsalesexpert says:

    Hi thorin, Your blog is really a great source of material for a person like me who’s still struggling with my crossdressing /masturbation habit. The only problem i have is the masturbation issue which leads me to crossdress every now and then. And i as work for Night shifts i have to masturbate to relieve myself. As I masturbate to porn, my mind automatically picturised myself as a woman in this scene and then eventually i get into crossdressing also to increase the pleasure. Can you tell me is there a better way to come out of this cycle.Can i single guy like me masturbate in a right way to close the cding chapter which i have started since my teen years. PLEASE TELL ME WHAT WOULD BE THE BEST WAY TO MASTURBATE.. WHAT THOUGHTS I SHOULD PROCREATE WHILE MASTURBATING?For now i cannot get create an erection without thinking as a crossdresser or say imagining myself as as woman. Please provide me a solution and do keep me in your prayers. GOD BLESS


  40. thorin25 says:

    Hello Royce, thank you for appreciating my blog. My first question challenge you, “why do you need to masturbate at all?” It’s a lie to think that you must masturbate. It’s important to learn self control, and to learn that you don’t need masturbation. It will come out during sleep if you stop masturbating and you will be perfectly healthy.

    Secondly, if you could masturbate while only thinking about your “future wife” of your imagination, or without thinking of anything at all, then it would be less bad. But even if you managed to do this, which would be really hard, you would still be stuck in addiction to masturbation which is sin because it is addiction and it’s unhealthy.

    Third, even if you were to manage masturbating to those more pure thoughts once in a while, masturbation is extremely dangerous for you, because likely it will lead you almost every time to thoughts that are not pure.

    Thus, the only solution seems to be to put this addiction of masturbation to death. Learn self control. Enjoy the freedom of not being chained to masturbation, and then eagerly await some day becoming married where you can enjoy real sex, instead of imaginary sex with yourself.

    This might seem impossible, but it is very possible. You can have freedom from addiction to masturbation. There are a lot of good articles and programs here that can help you find freedom from porn and masturbation addiction. Look under the articles about pornography and sexual addiction articles. You can do this! First step is believing it is possible, then do the hard work of fighting and changing. You’ll get excellent ideas from those articles (and my blog posts as well).


  41. CD wife says:

    Thorin may i add that once you are addicted to masturbation it very often leads to erectile dysfunction thus making healthy sex near on impossible . Erections become difficult to achieve with a partner and retarded ejaculation is often another problem.
    As a partner who has experienced this i can tell you as a wife it’s a very painful situation to be in. If you don’t know what is going on you can easily blame yourself.


  42. Don says:

    Royce, I will add that every time you are tempted to masturbate you should think that you will not die if you don’t masturbate. I learned that in a Sexaholics Anonymous group and that works for some people, and it works until the desire passes.

    Also, God gave us the sex drive for two purposes, first to have the energy to attract the women of our dreams, and then to keep the union together in marriage. If you are constantly relieving yourself of that pressure, you take away the energy, strength and drive needed to find and attract a woman. You need that push to get yourself out of the house and put yourself in places where you can meet someone, especially if you are shy.



  43. Henry says:

    I can tell you with sincerity that being trans is often a mental illness and damaging, affecting yourself and your partner. Much of it is a delusion, no matter what quality makeup or fashionable clothes you wear,you will always be a man. Sure you can look amazing at times but nothing changes.You can take hormones, get SRS but you are only a ‘pseudo-woman’ you can never bare children.

    It is time to acknowledge how our lusts only increase as we make excuses for our behaviour or even blame our female partners for not being so accepting. Visiting many CD support sites they mostly deal with how everyone needs to be accepting and not the emotional fallout that it can cause.

    I learned my lesson losing the woman I adored and was so attracted to.She being a little on the quiet side must have thought me deranged and I cannot blame her.
    I found myself walking outside our home in the night,sometimes going to counselling fully dressed driving in my car. I wore makeup when in guy clothes.It took up much of our conversations,I thought I was transgender.I thought I was someone else.

    I am on a light regimen of antidepressants which have helped me see the error of my ways,the addiction/obsession that CD and trans everything really is. I advise all those facing the end of your relationship to seek counselling.

    I want NO part of the trans community as they are a selfish bunch who only think of themselves. I am no feminist in reality just a man who feels ashamed now. Our women partners do not deserve to put up with such narcissistic problems.


  44. thorin25 says:

    Thank you Henry for the comment and sharing a bit of your story. If you wanted to type up a fuller version of your testimony, I could publish it in our guest posts section – https://healingcd.wordpress.com/guest-posts-2/


  45. CD wife says:

    Henry bless your heart. Thank you please post more often.


  46. Lisa says:

    Hi Henry. Thank you so much for your post. You have a real grasp on the reality of your CDing addiction. Which with God’s help you will find a way to be victorious. What struck me about your story is you do not make excuses for your crossdressing. You know the truth and that’s half the battle. God bless you Henry.


  47. Dan says:

    I am 17 a dominating masculine asian I never cross dressed and don’t even like girls products I haven’t masterbaute and I use to think of having sex with girls in my imagination . But few days before I see my female pic by a editing app and I liked it too much that I felt loved with it and I am thinking to cross dress should I do this or not or it is due to that because I haven’t seen myself so I liked that female pic .will cross dressing once help me to overcome feeling of cross dressing or what is it should I try but I don’t want to .I sometimes have viewed lesbian porn and what should I do to overcome it try cross dress or not or meditate


  48. thorin25 says:

    Dan it would be a very bad idea to begin crossdressing. It will ruin your life and only bring you confusion. Here is why it is a bad idea – https://healingcd.wordpress.com/2013/07/08/summary-of-why-crossdressing-is-sinfulharmful/


  49. Perfer not to say says:

    Thank you. Thank you so much. I feel like god has made this article just for me.


  50. thorin25 says:

    Prefer, stay in touch, as you try to quit crossdressing, please keep checking in here, we want to help you and pray for you


  51. Anthony says:

    As a M an struggling with this addiction finding this page was a real blessing. I need help with dealing with daily temptations. As I get going well then fall off again after a while…..


  52. thorin25 says:

    Anthony, I just added you to the prayer group, check your email. Thank you for your compliment of this page and ministry. We are here to help you if you are ready to put the work in! Keep reading


  53. Anthony says:

    Thank you for allowing me to join the group you have made. I feel wonderful that there is FINALLY a place to discuss this with others who suffered and struggled with this. In the last few days I have returned all of the women’s clothing I had ordered online as well as finally deleted an account on a pornography site that I had been active on for close to six years. Too many people I knew there that encouraged my cross dressing…..and I needed to distance myself from it as I was afraid that it may lead me to engage in other sinful behaviors. I will be checking in daily here to keep my resolve to end this.


  54. Cleon says:

    Hi, I’ve crossdresser since I was 4 years old. I spent decades trying to stop. I’ve given my stuff to Goodwill on and off. The longest I ever went without was 6 months. So in the 1990’s I said enough is enough. Not going to throw away anything anymore. My wife was ok with it, but it was expensive getting more stuff. Then I had felt a message from Christ was pointing out something to me. In a nutshell here it is. He doesn’t care if you are wearing boxers or Just My Size. It what’s in your heart that matters. I feel wonderful after reaching that conclusion. It helped me not feel the need to dress as much. So far this year, I have only dressed once . That’s going to be over 3 months. I also think it is like money. Its not the money itself, but what you do with it. Gamble or use it for an offering. I feel it’s the same with cross dressing.


  55. thorin25 says:

    Cleon, again thank you for your comment here as the other one. I understand what you are saying, but I strongly disagree, and I hope you will take the disagreement in love. I think you are rationalizing sin. Your cliche “it’s whats in the heart that matters” is not biblical. God very much cares about our heart, but he also cares about our actions. Idolatry is always wrong period, for example. When the Israelites tried to argue with God that in their hearts they were worshipping Yahweh as they were bowing to the golden calf, God’s wrath and punishment were still upon them. What we DO matters, not only what is in our hearts. Jesus points about the heart in the NT were because some people thought that only our actions matter, but he said what’s in our hearts matters too. You are exchanging the error of the Pharisees for the opposite error. The Bible makes perfectly clear that obedience to God’s commands is important in both action and in heart.

    Here is why I think crossdressing is wrong. I think it is abundantly clear. Feel free to discuss specific Bible passages or specific points with me, there are a lot of posts to read, and I would prefer to discuss each argument rather than retyping them all here – https://healingcd.wordpress.com/2013/07/08/summary-of-why-crossdressing-is-sinfulharmful/

    Looking forward to more discussion


  56. Cleon says:

    Thank you very much for your opinion. I appreciate your swift reply. Just found your site yesterday. Love it. I hope to check out more on here. Brother in Christ, Cleon.

    Liked by 1 person

  57. thorin25 says:

    Thanks Cleon for your gracious reply. I hope we will talk more. God bless you


  58. Tina says:

    Thanks for the long list of resources to stop you crossdressing. I’m not sure it’s truly possible to stop though. For most of us it’s such a fundamental part of what we are. Surely it’s better to embrace our true selves than to live a lie.


  59. thorin25 says:

    Tina, thank you for the comment and for the appreciation. I don’t know how possible it is, barring some miracle, to stop having crossdressing desires, just like I can’t stop myself from having selfish desires either. All we can choose is whether to act on our desires or not. And surely all of us have freewill to choose whether or not to give in.

    I realize drug addiction is not the same as crossdressing addiction, but there are parallels. What would you say to a drug addict who said that their desire for crack was a fundamental part of who they are?

    What does it mean to live a lie? In what way do you think I am living a lie? I am very honest. I desire to crossdress, but I also desire not to crossdress even more, so I don’t do it. How is that living a lie? Some people desire to eat a lot of food, but they desire to be thin even more, so they don’t overeat. Is that living a lie? I’m not provoking you, but I encourage you to try to articulate what that means.

    About embracing our true selves. Please read this post, carefully, and tell me your thoughts. I believe that it is crossdressing that is keeping us from being who we truly are, and crossdressing is what divides our identity rather than being ourselves and having integration. Please read and comment, looking forward to hearing more from you:



  60. leonard says:

    I found this page 1 month ago and followed all 12 steps which it was working until today. I couldn’t hold it any longer that I wore my wife’s clothes while she was out of the house. I didn’t think I could stop it anymore that I confessed to her about it and why I like it more than male clothes.. I thought I was done for but actually it was the opposite because my wife not mad at all about it. in fact she told me that it was cute and no more male clothes for me.


  61. thorin25 says:

    Leonard, thank you for the comment and for trying out these suggestions. If you read my posts carefully, I don’t promise that following these steps will take away all desires. Most of us, though not all, but most of us who have quit crossdressing still have desires for it now and then and even brief failures. But we keep on resisting it, even when the desires are they. We know the nature of the addiction, and don’t want to fall back into it. Even if we have to face these desires periodically until we die, and resist them when they come, we will do it. It’s a small price to pay to live in freedom!

    Why did you originally stop crossdressing? Why did you want to stop? And what is different now? The fact that your wife doesn’t care, how does that change your own view of it? Were you only quitting for fear of what she would say, and not because you were a slave to addiction? Not because it is sinful in God’s eyes?

    I HIGHLY encourage you to read the wives of crossdressers chat page, and see the comments from wives. So MANY of them thought it was cute at first, until they realized it wasn’t just a small hobby, and now they are disgusted with their husbands, and their husbands have escalated in their addictions to the point of destroying their marriages.


  62. CD wife says:

    So MANY of them thought it cute at first WHAT ??? !!!!! Who Thorin that’s news to me. Maybe some saw it as harmless at first….just maybe but cute who in their right minds would find a man in a dress cute ?


  63. thorin25 says:

    Thank you CDwife, I didn’t quite write that as I meant to. Let me clarify to correct what I said. I have heard from many wives or their husbands that the wives thought it was cute or fun at first. I have read more blogs, forums, aside from comments here, than I can count. So I have come across this a lot. As far as the specific wives who post here, I remember a few saying they thought it wasn’t a big deal at first. But maybe none said it was “cute.” I was talking about wives in general, and accidentally referred the “many” to the wives of the wives page. Sorry, incorrect.
    My point was that some wives think it is cute or fun or harmless at first, only to change their view once they see what is really going on. And he should read the wives chat page to see how wives feel about it.


  64. CD wife says:

    Absolutely Thorin which is why our wives page must always be open for all to see.


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