Put the “cross” into “crossdressing”

We’ve been in the season of Lent for some time now and tomorrow is Good Friday.  We celebrate the work of Jesus on the cross for us to take away the punishment for our sins, and give us total forgiveness.  What a wonderful merciful God we serve.

This got me thinking.  Most of the time when I see crossdressers write about crossdressing and faith, they emphasize a couple things.  1. Since Jesus died on the cross for us, and we are forgiven, we don’t need to fear being sent to hell for our sins.  (I agreeWe only have reason to fear if we aren’t a true follower of Jesus trusting in him for our salvation).  So they emphasize the important thing is just to love God and love others.  (I agree with that too except I think the way we love God is by following his commands as Jesus says in John 14:15 – “If you love me, you will obey what I command.” And one of God’s specific commands is Deut. 22:5).       2. If crossdressing was something God does not want us to do, he would take away my desires to crossdress.  Therefore, since he has not taken away my desires to crossdress, and this is who I am, he must be okay with me crossdressing.

This kind of view is illogical.  I have many problems with this ways of thinking as I’ve written about in so many posts.  In this post I just want to talk about the cross.  Many Christian crossdressers are so right on the aspect of the cross about Jesus dying for us to take away our sins.  I fully agree.  But there is another aspect of the cross that they tend to overlook.  That is the aspect of the “cross” talked about in these passages –

 

Luke 14:27 – And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.
Through the whole section of verses 25-35, Jesus point is that his followers need to count the cost of discipleship, what they will have to give up in order to be his disciple.

Mark 8:34-37 – 34 Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. 35 For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it. 36 What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul? 37 Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?

Matthew 10:38-39 – 38 and anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. 39 Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.

Matthew 16:24-27 – 24 Then Jesus said to his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. 25 For whoever wants to save his life  will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it. 26 What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul? 27 For the Son of Man is going to come in his Father’s glory with his angels, and then he will reward each person according to what he has done.

In these many passages Jesus is telling his disciples clearly that many of them will literally have to die in following him.  And most of them were killed eventually for their faith in Jesus.  They also have to give up money, give up sins that they wanted to commit, give up homes, give up dreams, and so on.

 

Luke 9:23-25 – 23 Then he said to them all: “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. 24 For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it. 25 What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit his very self?

In this passage, we see that Jesus says we have to take up our cross, “daily.”  It’s not just about being willing to die for Jesus.  It’s about daily self-denial.  It’s about giving up our wants and desires to follow Jesus.  It’s about giving up our pleasures to resist sin and do what God wants us to do.  It’s about sacrifice and serving other people, and taking care of their needs more than our own.

 

Some other passages hit these same themes –

Romans 12:1-2 – 1 Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. 2 Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Titus 2:11-14 – 11 For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. 12 It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, 13 while we wait for the blessed hope—the glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, 14 who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good.

Galatians 2:20 – 20 I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

 

It is not a biblical view to say that if God wanted me to not crossdress, he would take away my crossdressing desires or make things easier for me.  Maybe you think that crossdressing is not sinful.  That can be argued.  But the aforementioned argument is totally illogical and unbiblical.  God never promised to take away our desires to sin.  God never promised that the Christian life would be easy.  In fact, Jesus promised the opposite, that the Christian life is full of self-denial, sacrifice, and daily taking up our cross to follow him.  This is a counter-cultural message, but it is the biblical message.  Jesus denied himself to give us salvation, and on this Good Friday, let us remember we are supposed to give up our old sinful ways in obedience to him, even it means denying our pleasures and wants, even if it means it’s going to be hard.  But thankfully God promises to give us help and strength through the Holy Spirit living in us (John 14, Romans 8, 1 Corinthians 10:13).

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12 comments on “Put the “cross” into “crossdressing”

  1. Clive Parker says:

    I am at a point whereby I have got to submit this fetish to Christ “again”. Thankyou for the passages of scripture. This is Easter whereby I have a huge opportunity to leave this SIN with Christ my Saviour and learn to follow him each day afresh. It is important for you to remain in close contact.

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  2. thorin25 says:

    Hello Clive. At the end you say important for you to remain in close contact. I’m not sure if you were referring to Christ or to me. But of course, staying in close contact to Jesus each day is of the utmost importance. There is nothing more important. But I will be around as well to encourage you and pray for you, just send an email if you ever get into a weak moment, and we will lift you up in prayer.

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  3. Eric says:

    Hebrews 12:4 — “In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood.”

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  4. thorin25 says:

    Eric that is a great passage as well. It comes after Hebrews 11 talking about all the people who have gone before us in faith and how many of them were even killed for their faith. Then the beginning of chapter 12 calls us to follow their example and throw off the sin in our lives.

    1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. 2 Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3 Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. 4 In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood.

    The point of that verse is not that we should shed blood. The point is that Jesus is our ultimate example, who did what is right even to the point of having his own blood shed. We have not fought against our sin and tried to do what is right with that kind of sacrifice, but that is the example we follow.

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  5. Robyn says:

    thorin25, Two things: First, you say, “we don’t need to fear being sent to hell for our sins.” However, there is plenty of evidence in the Bible that indicates otherwise. I agree that ” Since Jesus died on the cross for us, and we are forgiven,” There is no doubt about that. But we can refuse or reject the gift of forgiveness. It is up to us to accept God’s forgiveness and allow it to change ourselves. There are many people who do not want God’s forgiveness, believe it or not… God will not force himself or his gift of forgiveness on us…

    Second, your logic is wrong when you say, “If crossdressing was something God does not want us to do, he would take away my desires to crossdress. Therefore, since he has not taken away my desires to crossdress, and this is who I am, he must be okay with me crossdressing.” If God didn’t want people to murder other people with guns, he would take away guns or a desire to murder. Since he hasn’t taken away guns, then he must be okay with murder. This is clearly not true…

    Why would God desire to take away your desire to crossdress? Maybe he wants you to deal with it… Maybe God is working to change your desire to crossdress but you haven’t been able to see God working in your life. The other thing you should look at is your statement of “this is who I am”. This isn’t who we ARE. We can say we are crossdressers but we should realize that our identity as created by God is so much more than “a crossdresser”. As long as we allow crossdressing to define our identity, then we will never be able to see ourselves as anything else.

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  6. thorin25 says:

    Hi Robyn, thanks for the comment. To you first paragraph about hell. I agree with you. I am not a universalist. I believe there is a hell and plenty of people will be in it (which saddens me greatly). People who do not know Jesus as their savior do have reason to fear hell. My point was that those who trust in Jesus as their savior, have been forgiven, and do not need to fear hell. I was talking about those who believe in Jesus, not those who do not.

    Your 2nd paragraph, I’m sorry, but you missed my point. Perhaps you were reading too quickly 🙂
    My point was that that is what other people say, and I think it is illogical (as you pointed out too). The main point of the post was really to say what you said, that that kind of statement is illogical. God does not take away all of our sinful desires or temptations. Unfortunately many crossdressers think that because God didn’t take away their desire to crossdress, he must be somehow okay with it.

    And again with your 3rd paragraph. I was again saying that this is someting crossdressers tend to say, “this is who I am.” That is not what I was saying about myself.

    So again, it sounds like we are in full agreement. The key sentence you missed was at the beginning of the 2nd paragraph – “Most of the time when I see crossdressers write about crossdressing and faith, they emphasize a couple things.” Maybe I’ll edit it just to be more clear.

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  7. Robyn says:

    thorin25, You are correct. I read your post too quickly skipping over your intro. Also, I used to believe that God made me a Crossdresser, therefore, even should accept me… I also believed for quite a long time that my crossdressing defined who I was. I used these beliefs to justify my crossdressing to anyone who would listen making it a really good thing. It took a lot of work to get “unstuck” from these.

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  8. thorin25 says:

    And Robyn what is your view of crossdressing now? Something you are still doing?

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  9. Robyn says:

    My view of crossdressing is that it is analogous to language. God made me but I was not born speaking and understanding English. Because I speak only English does not define who I am, maybe only where I come from… Speaking and understanding English developed as I grew up because of where I lived and the language people in my life used. As much I desire to speak other languages and even though I have spent a lot of time trying to learn other languages, for some reason, it is almost impossible for me. So I use English and use Google Translate when needed…

    Yes, I still crossdress. But do I think crossdressing is sinful? It depends on the circumstances…

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  10. Clive Parker says:

    It is very important to live for Christ and to obey him this includes submitting our desires which are not necessarily wholesome in his sight. We cannot do this in our own strength but can only operate within the goodness of God’s grace. When we fall by the wayside and we undoubtedly will we must turn to him and seek forgiveness. I have been on this road time and time again to the point whereby his grace has become rather cheap. I believe by joining this group it will help me from the time of Easter renewal give me the necessary support to overcome my human weakness so that I can look to become “free” each day by taking up the cross. This group will serve and help me to be more accountable to God….May God bless it!

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  11. thorin25 says:

    Glad to have you Clive. May we all of us together look to Christ and what he accomplished for us on the cross. It is not by our willpower that we will succeed against crossdressing. It is only by our joy in salvation through Jesus and the hope of the resurrection that gives us the true motivation we need to become free from crossdressing. And of course the power of the Holy Spirit working within us. If we go at ending crossdressing in an attempt to please God by our righteousness, we will fail. But if we fall on our knees, and take joy in the free forgiveness Jesus offers, then Jesus will transform us. We will value Jesus so much that the feeble pleasures of crossdressing will seem paltry in comparison.

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  12. Clive Parker says:

    I agree with your reply Thorin, We live in the power of the resurrected Christ and the salvation that comes from him that helps us to be free. Not by our own strength or willpower will we succeed.

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