In my struggle with crossdressing over my whole life, many Bible verses have been helpful to me. I’ve studied them, memorized some of them, and often read them after failures. In addition to the ones I’ve already written about, I’ll periodically mention and comment on some of them and how they relate to my crossdressing struggle. For those of you who are still struggling, it would surely help you to write some of these down and read them daily, or in times of temptation, or after a failure when you need to be built back up by God’s Word.
2 Corinthians 4:16-18
16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
These verses I find very encouraging. Paul was talking about big time life challenges and hardships like being hungry and persecuted and how those troubles are only temporary. But this passage also applies to my small troubles like having to deal with crossdressing temptations that I’d rather not have. Those temptations are temporary, and soon and very soon when I die, or Jesus returns, I’ll have no more struggles with sin ever again. And this passage is a great reminder to keep our eyes fixed on Jesus and on his promises, the things that are unseen, rather than the troubles we see in this short life.
2 Corinthians 6:16-18
16 What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: “I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people.”
17 “Therefore come out from them
and be separate,
says the Lord.
Touch no unclean thing,
and I will receive you.”
18 “I will be a Father to you,
and you will be my sons and daughters,
says the Lord Almighty.”
As I’ve written about elsewhere, crossdressing can easily become an idol in our lives. We as individuals are God’s temples of the Holy Spirit, and communally as the Church we are God’s temple and he dwells within us. I do not want to bring something so unclean and so disturbing as crossdressing near God’s temple.
2 Corinthians 7:1
1 Since we have these promises, dear friends, let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God.
This passage follows immediately from the passage above. Let’s ask ourselves, does crossdressing contaminate our bodies or souls or both? Let’s be holy as called us to be holy.
2 Corinthians 10:4-5
4 The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. 5 We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.
How do we win the battle against crossdressing in our lives? The battle begins in our minds. We must fill ourselves with God’s truth and break through the rationalizations we make for crossdressing. We must break through the lies and half-truths about gender, sexual pleasure, and crossdressing that we tell ourselves. We find our truth in God’s Word, not in our feelings, or in what seems pleasurable to us. And we discipline our minds. We don’t just let any thoughts have their way in us. The thoughts that glorify Christ we dwell on and set free in our minds. The thoughts that are sinful or destructive we capture and get rid of. We focus our minds on Christ.
For the director of music. A psalm of David. When the prophet Nathan came to him after David had committed adultery with Bathsheba.
1 Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
blot out my transgressions.
2 Wash away all my iniquity
and cleanse me from my sin.
3 For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is always before me.
4 Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight,
so that you are proved right when you speak
and justified when you judge.
5 Surely I was sinful at birth,
sinful from the time my mother conceived me.
6 Surely you desire truth in the inner parts;
you teachme wisdom in the inmost place.
7 Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
8 Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones you have crushed rejoice.
9 Hide your face from my sins
and blot out all my iniquity.
10 Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
11 Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.
12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.
13 Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
and sinners will turn back to you.
14 Save me from bloodguilt, O God,
the God who saves me,
and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.
15 O Lord, open my lips,
and my mouth will declare your praise.
16 You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.
17 The sacrifices of God area broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart,
O God, you will not despise.
18 In your good pleasure make Zion prosper;
build up the walls of Jerusalem.
19 Then there will be righteous sacrifices,
whole burnt offerings to delight you;
then bulls will be offered on your altar.
After times of crossdressing failure I would often go to Psalms of Confession to guide my prayers of confession. This Psalm definitely was the Psalm I went to most often. It is so beautiful and full of passion. It is especially poignant thinking about the context of David first praying it after he finally felt powerful guilt and conviction for both his murder and adultery. It begins with asking for God’s forgiveness. But David doesn’t ask because he thinks he deserves it; instead he appeals to God’s character and love. It goes on to talk about the imagery of God washing away our sin, which we know has been accomplished for us through Jesus if we have trusted in him as our Savior. I felt so “dirty” after crossdressing, and I loved this washing imagery.
Verse 4 is a powerful reminder that even if we sin against other people (perhaps by lying to our wife about crossdressing or secretly using her clothes), our sin is not mainly against her, but against God. God is our judge and any sins against other people is an insult to God as well. Verse 5 is a powerful countercultural statement. All of us are sinful from birth. We aren’t born naturally good. We are all born naturally hating God and neighbor because of original sin. It all goes back to the Fall of Adam and Eve into sin as our representative humans. Now, not only are we born bearing the common guilt of humanity for rebelling against God, but we all are born sinning from the day we were born. We are born selfish, and none of us worship and love God as fully as he deserves.
In verses 10-12, you can see David’s fear. He wants a new heart. He doesn’t want the Holy Spirit to leave him because of his sin. How wonderful it is to know that we have been given a new heart in Jesus. How wonderful it is to know that the Holy Spirit will never leave us because we have been 100% totally forgiven in Jesus. It’s done, a past event. Our sin has been paid for and even when we sin, we don’t undo what Christ has already done for us. I love verse 12 about God restoring to us the original joy we had in his salvation. It is the joy in that salvation which will help us in our fight against sin.
Verse 13 is powerful for me, as I feel that this is what God is using me to do right now. God has restored to me the joy of my salvation, forgiven me for my crossdressing in the past, and set me free from my crossdressing addiction. Now I am teaching fellow sinners about God’s laws and his will for their lives. I’m telling others about how they can find freedom in Jesus.
Verses 16-17 were very meaningful to me as well. Often when I felt so guilty from crossdressing I would feel like I needed to “do something” to make up for what I did wrong. But then this passage would always remind me that God only requires my broken heart acknowledging my need for Jesus for my salvation. I can’t earn my own salvation. All I can do is trust in Jesus for it.
Verses 18-19 seem to be suddenly of a different topic. But I think King David is thinking about the possible effect his sin might have on the city of Jerusalem. He cares about his people and desires God to bless them. He doesn’t want God to punish the whole city because of his sin. So he prays for God to make Jerusalem prosper. In our battles with crossdressing, let’s pray for those our sins may have hurt. Pray for God to bless and restore our broken sisters, wives, friends, or others we have hurt through our crossdressing actions.