Lifting Weights and becoming muscular

Briefly I just wanted to note how helpful it has been for me to lift weights and do pushups and other exercises that tone and beef up my muscles.   Doing so has helped me to feel more manly and has helped me in my fight against crossdressing.  Let me explain.

On the one hand, being a man versus a woman doesn’t necessarily mean you will be strong.  There are plenty of weak men and plenty of strong women.  But on the other hand, it is a true generalization to say that men are normally stronger than women.  It is how our bodies naturally are.  Some women are very strong because they work hard.  For example my wife works hard, stays busy, and exercises a lot.  But still, I am stronger than her just because of my biology, even though I exercise less than her.  It seems unfair to women in a way, but it is just the way God made us.  Each sex is biologically different, with their own advantages and disadvantages.  And the biological differences are nothing to be ashamed of.


Anyway, since a muscular look, especially in upper body and arms, is mostly a masculine look, it has helped me, when I was able to develop my muscle mass.  It has made me feel more masculine and manly.  Now this mostly because I look more like the stereotypical man, and less feminine, in my body by doing this.  But I also admit that part of it is the cultural ethos I was raised in, that men are supposed to be strong and muscular, (even think about children’s books of strong men rescuing the weak princess in distress).  I chafe at much of that traditional culture that views men as strong and women as weak.  And yet, I admit there is probably a part of me that feels more masculine and manly just because I am stronger.   But mainly being more muscular has helped me to look more like a man, or at least more like how I want to look.

I don’t obsess about this.  I don’t feel bad about myself when I don’t live up to the muscles of action heroes like James Bond, or the lifeguards on Baywatch.  But I do appreciate being healthier.  I do appreciate looking in the mirror and seeing myself as a man, as a man with some muscles at least.

In past history, this wouldn’t be much of an issue, but in our culture today where we don’t do much hard physical work, we need to exercise and lift weights in order to get our muscles into healthy shape.  And I have been trying to do so.


This has helped me fight crossdressing in two ways.  1.  It helps me to feel more like a man and appreciate my body as a man more.  I look in the mirror and appreciate what I see, rather than disdaining what I see and wanting to crossdress in order to be attractive.  I’m finding masculine beauty in myself rather than feminine beauty.  It’s helping me to live into my identity as a man more, rather than wanting to be a woman.

2.  It helps me to resist crossdressing temptations.  The more I lift weights and increase my muscle mass (which has been a very small amount so far), then the harder it is to fit into small female clothes.  The more I get muscular, the harder it is to fit into my wife’s clothes.  The more I get muscular and look manly, the less feminine I look and the less convincing I will look while crossdressed.  So by getting stronger I am actually working already on resisting temptations.  I will look more like a typical man and less like a typical woman, so crossdressing won’t be as pleasurable.

Some critics may scoff at this strategy of lifting weights and increasing muscle mass.  They might think it’s wrong somehow because women can be strong too.  But I know this works, because it has worked for me.  And I’ve read enough other crossdressing blogs to know of how many crossdressers who are trying to eat less than they normally would, trying to lose muscle mass, and so on, in order to appear more as a woman.  So I know this issue of muscle mass makes a real difference in how we look at ourselves.   Every person should try to have a healthy body and be strong.  But crossdressers in particular, if they want to fight their addiction, should at least put in a little bit of effort to make their bodies look more masculine.  We can’t go against our normal body types and we shouldn’t obsess about being super strong, but we can at least work out out bodies a little bit.


2 comments on “Lifting Weights and becoming muscular

  1. Ralph says:

    That’s interesting that more muscle mass is making you larger. When I exercised more frequently, I had so much body fat that the muscle mass which replaced it made me much thinner.

    You sound so much like me in much of what you write. I too walk that fine balance between appreciating God’s design for our different roles and rebelling against rigid societal stereotypes about what men and women “should” do. I find the overbearing aggression in men somewhat repulsive, but I am also attracted by strong, confident women who aren’t helpless without a man to guide them along.

    And I have to confess, I do get a certain smug satisfaction when I can easily pop open a stuck jar lid that my wife has been struggling with, even though compared to other men I’m extremely weak.

    You’re absolutely right that a larger body — whether from muscles or fat — will quickly dispel any illusions a man has about looking pretty or feminine in his dress. Funny, if not entirely on topic, story about that. I went to see a performance of “The Mikado” with my daughter last year, and I noticed that one of the “girls” had a prominent square jaw, pronounced brow line, and flat chest. I pointed her out to my daughter and we had a giggle at having “made” someone… until I looked at the actors’ biographical notes and photos in the back of the program and realized that she really was a girl, albeit with a slightly mannish appearance. So much for my ability to recognize a brother when I see one.


  2. thorin25 says:

    Hi Ralph, thanks for the comment. Just for clarification, I’m not sure I’m really getting larger, just a tiny bit bigger muscles and more defined muscles. We are very similar in wanting rebel against rigid gender stereotypes of our culture and yet appreciate the differences God has made between men and women. That is something I’m still trying to figure out.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s