I recently reread a friend’s blog post called – “In Search of Unification.” I found it incredibly interesting and helpful, and wanted to pass it on to you as a good resource to use in your own personal healing from crossdressing. It’s an old post, and when he wrote it he had already given up crossdressing. He was working with his wife and counselor to integrate aspects of his male self, and aspects of his crossdressed self, into one unified person. And the one unified person I would call the real him, the real person God created. He had divided out aspects of his personality. He had shut out some aspects of his personality (due to cultural influences or his upbringing, etc.) and those aspects had found their way out unnaturally through crossdressing. But at the time of writing this post, he was ready to be done with being a divided person, with both his self that he presented to others and his crossdressed self being messed up broken halves. He was ready to be a unified whole person and keep the positive aspects of himself from both sub-identities and get rid of the negative aspects of both.
As you read the post you can see how much of a challenge it was for him to even think through this. But it’s an incredibly helpful, and I think necessary, thing to do if we are to find long term healing from crossdressing. We must do more than just eliminate the behavior. We must figure out what caused our crossdressing behavior in the first place, what needs we were trying to meet through it, what aspects of personality we were letting out through it, and then have those good needs met and aspects of personality let out, all in our real non-crossdressed self. This takes a lot of work, a lot of prayer, a lot of thought, and potentially counseling help. But I have found personally that this was really necessary to my own healing from my broken crossdressing past.
Give it a careful read, it’s really good!