Grow a Beard!

I want to share a great idea, and a helpful blog post about it with you all.  The idea is this.  If you want to limit your crossdressing, both your actual practice, and your temptations, then grow a beard or a mustache.  The best post about it is by my friend, Shards of Narsil – Virtues of a Beard.  Read his post first, as his ideas are more thorough and profound than mine, but here are a few of my own thoughts, which mostly correspond to his points anyway.

On the one hand, having a beard or mustache seems like a stereotypically manly thing to do.  But if you think about it, it’s a helpful thing to do, because in our culture and basically in all cultures, only men have beards and mustaches.  So if you have one you will look like a man.  And maybe that will help you to feel more like a man in some ways.

For those of us who love beauty and looking at our appearance (all crossdressers past and present I think), having a beard is a good thing.  It’s a way to take pride in your appearance.  Instead of taking an hour to put on makeup, take an hour to shave carefully, artfully crafting your facial hair.  Take pride in your appearance in the few ways that you can as a man rather than trying to look like a woman.

Another benefit is that this will lessen your temptations.  You can let your wife know that having a beard is part of your strategy for overcoming crossdressing.  That way, if you shave your beard, in order to crossdress, your wife will know.  And if you crossdress while having a beard, I guarantee it won’t be as enjoyable.  You’ll look much more like a man in a dress (which in actual fact, that is what you are).  The deception of crossdressing in front of a mirror will be much less successful.  You will not as easily be able to delude yourself that you look like a beautiful woman when you see that huge beard above the dress.  Trust me, this helps.  I’ve crossdressed with a beard, and the mental picture I got was enough for me to resist many more crossdressing occasions later on.   A beard is also a good daily reminder that you actually are a man, and shouldn’t be trying to pretend you are a woman.

For me, it helps that my wife is more attracted to me with a beard.  I wonder if part of her attraction is that she knows about my crossdressing past, and it maybe makes her feel better to see me in a beard.  Or it is purely just objective attraction.  I don’t know.  If your wife is not attracted to a beard, explain to her the merits of it in your struggle for healing from crossdressing and she may go for the idea.  It doesn’t have to be a big beard or mustache, just something small, a masculine touch.

Guys, there is not much we can do to limit crossdressing temptations in our highly sexualized culture in which we see women and pictures of women and clothing of women constantly.  Here is one very practical small thing you can do.

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5 comments on “Grow a Beard!

  1. Petrie says:

    Thorin i wonder if you know what percentage of Crossdressing men go on to transition into a women?

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  2. Dramaking55 says:

    Hello Petrie
    Andrew here and the question is a bit above my pay grade lol. Thorin has taken a few days off and I am sitting in for him. When he returns he may have more of an answer regarding percentages.
    From my perspective, I would wonder why you are asking? Surely if you have access to the internet I am sure that someone might have tried to determine what percentage actually transition. I don’t honestly think that I would believe the numbers anyway as no organization has actually given correct percentages because many cds are still in the closet. (no pun intended)
    I think that there are some men that cd that have deluded themselves into believing that they can in fact “pass” as women and therefore will get to a point where that question comes up for them. Do I take it to the next level? This I believe is because this is a progressive addiction in which the person crosses boundary after boundary until they do get to a point where they start taking hormones and then progress to the voice or surgery for breasts and as they get deeper and deeper they come to a point where they will transition.
    As for me I believe that this is spiritual warfare at its finest in that satan takes us into a weakness that we may have and then once we bite into our apple he just continues playing with us untill we begin to believe that we must in fact become that which our Heavenly Father never intended for us.
    I don’t mean to paint with such a broad brush but in my experience this is what I have seen happen. In short I don’t believe that it is a high percentage but if one persists in this sin it can definitely progress to that sad end. Please continue to read these posts and I pray that you will grow from them.

    Andrew

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  3. Ralph says:

    I got curious and did a little hunting around, and on several discussion forums and blogs whenever the question comes up the overwhelming response is “NO!” — with a general clarification that “most” crossdressers prefer to stay men, and numerous self-identified straight men saying they only want to pretend to be women part-time. But I have not been able to find any documented statistics done with any effort at scientific rigor; it’s all just speculation and anecdotal evidence.

    I think the informal surveys tend to be self-selecting. Sometimes when I see the question asked, more respondents say that they would like to become women permanently; other times (such as in the above places I looked) the majority of responses are negative. So it probably depends on which forum you’re on when you ask. Some forums, just based on the conversational topics and core participants, are more likely to attract full FtM transsexuals than others.

    In Second Life, I used to hang out at two or three areas where people identified as transgender, and in three years of chatting with people from all over the world, I met dozens of people who either are in transition, have completed transition, or wish they could transition but factors (financial, social, job) prevent them from following through on that wish. Conversely, I only met a small handful of people who are perfectly content being male, but like to dabble in “exploring their feminine side” for short periods. WIthout exception, all of these used fully female avatars at all times; I am the only one who openly admitted to being male and presented a male appearance even while wearing dresses.

    Don’t even get me started on the disgusting invitations I kept receiving from “shemales” who assume that every man in a dress wants gay sex. Heavy sigh. It’s environments like that where I question the claims that most crossdressers are straight and do not want to become women.

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  4. Dramaking55 says:

    LOL Thanks for clearing that up for us Ralph, so it is a definite maybe? lol

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  5. NornIron says:

    I can recommend this (growing a beard). I grew one during my final year of university and the temptations eased off until recently.

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