I want to share a great idea, and a helpful blog post about it with you all. The idea is this. If you want to limit your crossdressing, both your actual practice, and your temptations, then grow a beard or a mustache. The best post about it is by my friend, Shards of Narsil – Virtues of a Beard. Read his post first, as his ideas are more thorough and profound than mine, but here are a few of my own thoughts, which mostly correspond to his points anyway.
On the one hand, having a beard or mustache seems like a stereotypically manly thing to do. But if you think about it, it’s a helpful thing to do, because in our culture and basically in all cultures, only men have beards and mustaches. So if you have one you will look like a man. And maybe that will help you to feel more like a man in some ways.
For those of us who love beauty and looking at our appearance (all crossdressers past and present I think), having a beard is a good thing. It’s a way to take pride in your appearance. Instead of taking an hour to put on makeup, take an hour to shave carefully, artfully crafting your facial hair. Take pride in your appearance in the few ways that you can as a man rather than trying to look like a woman.
Another benefit is that this will lessen your temptations. You can let your wife know that having a beard is part of your strategy for overcoming crossdressing. That way, if you shave your beard, in order to crossdress, your wife will know. And if you crossdress while having a beard, I guarantee it won’t be as enjoyable. You’ll look much more like a man in a dress (which in actual fact, that is what you are). The deception of crossdressing in front of a mirror will be much less successful. You will not as easily be able to delude yourself that you look like a beautiful woman when you see that huge beard above the dress. Trust me, this helps. I’ve crossdressed with a beard, and the mental picture I got was enough for me to resist many more crossdressing occasions later on. A beard is also a good daily reminder that you actually are a man, and shouldn’t be trying to pretend you are a woman.
For me, it helps that my wife is more attracted to me with a beard. I wonder if part of her attraction is that she knows about my crossdressing past, and it maybe makes her feel better to see me in a beard. Or it is purely just objective attraction. I don’t know. If your wife is not attracted to a beard, explain to her the merits of it in your struggle for healing from crossdressing and she may go for the idea. It doesn’t have to be a big beard or mustache, just something small, a masculine touch.
Guys, there is not much we can do to limit crossdressing temptations in our highly sexualized culture in which we see women and pictures of women and clothing of women constantly. Here is one very practical small thing you can do.