I and the rest of you, as well as the general crossdressing community have talked long about the possible origins of crossdressing desires. There’s talk of causes being biology, or upbringing, or other life experiences. There is also a lot of discussion about different types of crossdressing. Obviously some people crossdress for sexual pleasure and some people don’t. But I’m wondering if there is something inherently sexual about crossdressing. Or to put it another way – is it possible for any man to become sexually addicted to crossdressing? Do you have to be predisposed to it somehow because of your biological predisposition, or your personality, or the way you were raised, or a combo of all 3? Or is crossdressing something that could become a sexual addiction for any male?
To be honest, this thought comes to me because of a lot of crossdressing fiction stories that I have read over the years. Many of them start out with a boy or a man who has no interest in crossdressing at all. It never was interesting or erotic. But then in the story, perhaps a wife tricks him or cajoles him into wearing panties, or a bra. And the man, to his great surprise, finds it incredibly exciting, even if part of him also feels awkward or ashamed. And then in the rest of the story the man discovers how pleasurable crossdressing is, and becomes all out obsessed with it. Now, these stories are certainly fanciful and unrealistic. But I do wonder if there is an element of truth to them. When I have read stories like this, the thoughts always would come to me, “how could you not be aroused under such circumstances?” I understand that it is certainly a possibility that I just think that way because such circumstances would be very sexually arousing for me personally. But perhaps it could happen to almost any boy or man? Actually, now that I think more about it, I have read real stories of crossdressers online who talk about their crossdressing addictions beginning in ways like this, even though previously they had no interest in the behavior at all.
It seems like there is something unique and special about crossdressing no matter what man you are. No matter who you are, you are putting on clothing that is associated with the opposite sex, and that should just seem odd to you. If you put on unisex looking clothing I suppose that it might not do much. But you would have to have some strange thoughts and feelings putting clothing on yourself that you are used to seeing only on women. And especially if the clothing or objects are things that you are used to looking at on women and finding them attractive. Basically all of our attraction to the opposite sex is based on differences. We are attracted to the different shapes of the female body, to their genital area that is different than our own, to their breasts, to their smooth faces devoid of facial hair, and on and on. We are attracted to the differences. I think female clothing does the same thing. The more different it is from our masculine clothing, the more attractive it can be. Hopefully the clothing or makeup or shoes are just accentuating the female body so that we are more attracted to the person, but to some extent, we become attracted to the clothing and shoes themselves. I think it is a general cultural phenomena to see high heels as sexy objects, for example.
So what does it do to a man to take objects he is used to seeing on women, that make him attracted to the women, or objects that he views as sexy but is used to associating them with women, and all of sudden to be associating them with himself? Is it not possible that he could become aroused? It is arousing to see a woman in just her panties and seeing her legs. If a man puts on panties and looks down at his legs, it may seem to be almost the same image that he is used to being attracted to. Add high heels to that picture, and perhaps he could become sexually aroused and a new addict to crossdressing. Because of the amount of focus we place on looks in our culture, and our obsession with beautiful women, it seems totally possible to me, that under the right circumstances, any boy or man could become addicted to crossdressing, as a slightly misplaced (what I would call perverse and wrong) object of attraction as opposed to real women, or more commonly “in addition” to real women.
If this was true (I have no idea if it is), it would seem that the right conditions could include being shy of real women and therefore having lack of regular interaction with them. They could include not already being addicted to pornography or some other sexual addiction. It might mean not already having experienced a fulfilling sexual life with real women. They could include having a sexual experience, or at least a strong emotional experience when first crossdressing (such as having sex with one’s wife while crossdressed for the first time, or having mother or sister tell you you are beautiful when you first crossdress as a child). If you were already enjoying real sex, or enjoying the pleasures of pornography, it seems like it would be much more difficult to begin a new more misplaced sexual addiction. But if you don’t already have the more normal sexual desires already in place, crossdressing could easily fill that void it seems to me.
So this makes me wonder about my case. Was I born differently from other guys and therefore predisposed to end up with this addiction? Or am I just a normal guy who developed crossdressing desires? In my case, crossdressing started while I was very shy of real women. I had never masturbated before and never looked at pornography. I had never had sex. And I did have a strong emotional experience when first crossdressed, of getting a lot of love, affection, and attention from my sister when she first crossdressed me in addition to her and my mother saying I was really cute and beautiful, probably the first time that word was applied to me.
There is no real way to test my hypothesis. And I’m not sure how important it is to know the answer. I guess if it is true, it gives me some calmness and reassurance that I am not so weird and crazy and messed up just because I get sexual pleasure from crossdressing. I still view crossdressing as an activity to be wrong and messed up, but it would make me feel less different from normal men. This inherently sexual activity (if it is really such), just happened to catch me at the right time under the right circumstances, and it spawned addiction. If it’s inherently sexual, then there is nothing unmanly about myself, nothing I need to be ashamed of. I’m just like other men, only I developed this problem and they didn’t. I need to work on fighting it and they don’t.
I guess the other thing that this would tell us, if this hypothesis is true, is that we should be careful to not think that other people are immune to developing crossdressing addictions just because they have had no previous interest in it. They could easily develop the addiction just like we did, if there is something inherently sexual about crossdressing. Which would mean, there is for the most part no harmless crossdressing, and we should not encourage boys or men to do it for fun or for Halloween or for whatever other occasion that may seem harmless. In fact, we should encourage people NOT to do it.
Anybody else have any thoughts? Feel free to correct me.