Here is an interesting study about the impacts that crossdressing and transsexual husbands have had on their wives. The study is called – Thematic Analysis of the Experiences of Wives who stay with Husbands who transition Male-to-Female. I felt like the authors/researchers took a mostly positive view of crossdressing and transgenderism, perhaps thinking that giving in to such behaviors is necessary, and they thought it interesting to see how certain couples beat all the odds and managed to stick together.
For me however, I read this article with deep sadness, thinking about all the pain and confusion and destruction this behavior brings into marriages. It looks like they only studied couples that didn’t choose to get divorced. So as you read it, keep in mind all the wives that couldn’t handle the pain and confusion, the wives who didn’t want to become functionally lesbian, who got out of their painful situation, their messed up marriages. The article is just about the few brave (or liberal) women who stayed, and even these brave women experienced much pain, heartache, questioning of their sexuality, worry that their husbands would become attracted to men (and some did), beaten down self-esteem, forced reversal of gender roles, and great waning of sexual activity in the marriage. The fact that a few women find ways to cope with the behavior, stay married, and treat their husband as a soul-mate rather than a husband, does nothing to make me think that their husbands’ behavior was acceptable. I have great respect for any woman who is willing to stay married to a husband who is causing her great suffering, because she wants to stay faithful and loving and is full of forgiveness. But the fact that there are brave women out there like this doesn’t mean that any woman should have to go through something like this!