The hypocrisy of some in the LGBT community

This was an interesting blog post I came across – The Hypocrisy of the Gay Community in America….Antoine Dobson/Jason Collins.  I don’t claim to agree with everything in the post.  However, I resonated much with the main point.  As the author points out, many in the LGBT community love to clamor for freedom and tolerance.  But when it comes to tolerating others who disagree with their views, they lose their tolerance.  It ends up being a tolerance that only tolerates people who have similar views.  As the author says, they argue for everyone to be true to themselves.   So if you come out as gay you are celebrated.  But in logical contrast to their passionate arguments, if you come out to be heterosexual, or that you have somehow found change in your sexuality, they disdain you.   I like how the author notes the hateful accusations against Antoine Dobson.  He must be part of a cult, or he must be religiously deluded into foolish thinking.  I can’t tell you how many times people have treated me and my blog the same way.

If you come out as a crossdresser who no longer is going to attempt to give up the behavior, you are celebrated.  But if you are a crossdresser who tries to give up the behavior by your own freewill and choice, then you are looked at with disdain.  Surely you are just suppressing your desires, or you have been brainwashed by strange religious fanatics.  And even worse, if you claim to have given up your crossdressing and found life better without it, you are viewed to be “dangerous” to the crossdressing community.

I’ve written on this topic before, but felt like it was time to mention it again, and to point out the interesting article above.  You can read more of my thoughts in this post – “Do not judge, or you too will be judged.”  So you like your crossdressing and think it is healthy.  Fine.  Live your life and do it.  But also respect my right to think that crossdressing is not healthy, and respect my right to not give in to it.  And respect the same rights of all of the other ex-crossdressing bloggers like me, not to mention all the anonymous crossdressers getting help through our blogs.

In relation to this I’d like to make a request, just in case any critics are reading my blog, or acquaintances of the critics.  Please don’t dismiss my blog and my arguments simply because I am a man of faith.  Please don’t dismiss my blog because of what you have heard about it from your friends.   Don’t just attack my character as a way to avoid my arguments.  Don’t ignore my blog because you don’t want to believe that I am enjoying life without crossdressing (me and many others).   Instead, come dialogue and find out for yourself what my blog is all about and let’s enjoy a good discussion.  Read my arguments, and then give vents to your criticisms.  But don’t judge prematurely.  Give my views a fair hearing.

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11 comments on “The hypocrisy of some in the LGBT community

  1. Temptedsinner says:

    I think that it is just my computer but if there is a “link”in the beginning of this post, it doesn’t work for me. I have the same problem on the resources page as well. Is it just my old puter?

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  2. thorin25 says:

    ya its working fine for me. Maybe try using a different browser, firefox or chrome if you are using internet explorer

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  3. Dramaking55 says:

    I opened it just fine and I agree that it is all hypocrisy. I have seen first hand how when I was “out there” many people male and female embraced me and told me how brave I was. The question however is how many people embraced me for ME? For the PERSON I was that they knew? They were being kind and supportive but they would have supported me anyway because they just liked ME, Andrew! In essence I believe people don’t honestly know how to say that they don’t agree with a person’s lifestyle choices anymore due to a politically correct stance that has become pervasive in our society. I was not “pretty” I was accepted by people who were aquainted with me as a person. the women that helped me in the various department stores and bridal salons were “tolerant” of my behavior, but did they truly affirm my choices? My guess is not and I am sure they would have much preferred that I had never walked in to their store. I don’t think the girls were standing around before work just hoping that a crossdresser would visit them that day and for many I would imagine that if I was fly on the wall of the club they visited that night, I am sure that they would have had a great deal of laughs at my expense. Lets face it, society, if given a choice and could take an honest stand would vote a resounding NO to crossdressers all over the country. They might be sympathetic to them, more so than 20/30 years ago but from my experience the only real acceptance is coming from crossdressers imagination. When you are in your head everyone accepts you and all that you do. Ypou do those things because it has now been accepted that crossdressers exist and who is anyone to say that you do this or that? It is a fantasy because you WANT people to accept you and lie you and not think you have a screw loose somewhere.
    That is why this blog is so important and why we must all support what it espouses. There is a reality here that exposes this for the sham that it is and until we stop accepting the crap that is thrown at us from the more liberal side of society and stand up for OUR beliefs then maybe we will be able to peaceably dialogue with each other that which is truth. If we cannot “agree to disagree” then we are more at Big Brother’s mercy than ever before and freedom will become just a fleeting memory.

    Andrew.

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  4. Ralph says:

    In addition to the issues raised here and in the original article, which I agree with, is the way straight, non-transitioning crossdressers (“Casual crossdressers” as one blog puts it) are the red-headed stepchild of the LGBT world. The gay crowd insists we’re secretly gay and denying our true nature; the trans crowd likewise says we’re denying our true womanhood and we’re insulting them by not validating their beliefs. I’ve probably been called more, and worse, names by LGBT folk than by “vanilla” folk who don’t like or understand what I do but at least are respectful to me as a person.

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  5. Joanna says:

    I always find it fascinating when people of “faith” talk about crossdressing as something harmful without explaining whether or not they suffer from gender disphoria. I have never been a crossdresser but am now the equivalent of one because I need to managea very strong and persistent gender disphoria. The alternative of not crossdressing would be for me transitioning which in my opinion would be a more extreme intervention I am trying to avoid.

    It might be useful to make the distinction here between crossdressing for fun as addiiction if you will and crossdressing such as disphorics and transgenders do as a matter of identity.

    I have been a practicing Catholic all my life and assure you that if you had GID you would not have been able to stop your so called “addiction”.

    GID is likely biologically based and the strongest thing I have ever faced in my life. It has been with me since earliest memory. I am in essence a repressed transsexual and dont see anything wrong with what I am doing in order to avoid a worse scenario.

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  6. thorin25 says:

    Hi Joanna. I do see a big distinction between gender dysphoria and crossdressing for comfort or sexual pleasure. However, I have read very much, both professional, and testimonial (reading online and such), to see that there is a lot of overlap. Sometimes the two conditions blend together, or it may start as crosdressing for sexual pleasure and turn into an identity issue. For me personally, I mostly dealt with crossdressing for sexual pleasure, but there was some gender dysphoria there as well.

    If you read more of my posts, you’ll see that I’m not offering a simple “cure” for crossdressing, or “cure” for transgendered feelings. For crossdressers, or those who are transgender, I think the solution is to stop crossdressing, not get a sex change, and keep living as the person God created you to be. However, this will be difficult, as it has been for me, and not all of the feelings will go away, and it might be a struggle for the rest of your life.

    I don’t make a distinction between crossdressing as addiction and gender dysphoria in every post, simply because most of my posts apply to both. I say a lot about both that many would disagree with, but those are my views.

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  7. robmilliken says:

    If I may weight in here Thorin and speak to Joanna’s concerns a moment please. I was one of those cd folks that sort of evolved out of a sexually stimulating cd “addiction” as you call it Joanna. And into a more GID state of behavior. Living and working as a woman on a 24/7 basis twice in my life. During my last living experience as “Leah Moore” two years ago I was the VP of the Washington, D.C. regional chapter of cd’s and their admirers group based in Arlington, VA.. I was also simultaneously endeavoring as a volunteer for the SLDN (Servicemembers Legal Defence Network).
    Protesting tirelessly in front of the White House to terminate “don’t ask, don’t tell” and to initiate gay marriage. My point Joanna is to show you that not all cd’s are stuck in the baby food stage of sexual addition. Some of us do evolve into a GID lifestyle which will eventually include as much as you may think not, homosexuality. “Transitioning” as you mentioned is no solution either. Legally society may be on board with your supposed “new gender”. But do you really think God is suddenly going to veiw you as such? Do you really think that God will not hold you responsible for the subsequent sin that a new sex role involes? Will this man made abomination that they call “transitioning”(which for the record had it’s origins in the Nazi concentration camps) really afford you the experience of menstuation, and child birth like a REAL female? No matter which way you go Joanna or what lies society tries to convince you of. In the end there’s no happiness, no peace, no rest until you surrender your life GID too, to our Lord Jesus Christ! If you don’t mind I’ll pray for your redemption because I’ve been there and I know what you’ll go through, if you haven’t already…
    Rob

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  8. Dramaking55 says:

    Hi Joanna, I can’t tell you how sorry I am for what you must be going through. I was diagnosed PTSD and GID by my shrink and by a counselor and I retired under a disability from the Postal Service after 17 years. I was probably just your typical run of the mill crossdresser for many years and at some point there was like a switch that went off in my head where I became obsessed to the point where my femme persona and my male person split. I was essentially 2 people in the same body. When you speak of “people of faith” it indicates the possibility to me that someone of faith either disappointed you or hurt you in some way. I am the first one to agree that the Church as in the body of Christ has done its fair share of judging the homosexual and the transgendered community as a whole. Please don’t add to that hurt by throwing the baby out with the bath water so to speak and understand that as a Christian I have nothing but love for you and Jesus loves you and God loves you and only wants the very ‘best” for you. That’s it! Joanna if you were here I would give you a big hug because I know a bit about how you might feel but I have no magic words or trite sayings that might make you feel better. I don’t know how to let the LGBT community know that they are loved, each and every last one of them and I would not judge you or any of those in that community but at the same time, I have to be able to say that I don’t embrace or affirm that lifestyle because I know in my heart that God has said that it is not the “best” life that he planned for anyone. It is not you but that behavior that at some point I believe a person chooses to go into. Can it be genetic? Yes I am open to that, but at the same time that can’t be the green light to engage in any sinful behavior. At some point I pray that everyone in the LGBT community will allow me to love them but disagree with their behavior without condemning me and my faith. All I want is the same tolerance that they insist I give them. So, can you change? Yes, but you have to want to scratch and claw and go day by day, minute by minute, and there were times when I was just hoping to get by the next ten seconds. If you really want freedom from the bondage that I believe all CDs are in, then I am here for you and more importantly so is Jesus.

    Bless you

    Andrew

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  9. Joanna says:

    Well I do appreciate the nice comments here but to be honest I am finding that if I balance my life through judicious and controlled dressing it is far far better than when I suppressed for all of those years. I have had GID all my life and it is not going away I can assure you. But I have found a way finally to allow myself to dress and then go back to my regular life and this allows me to be much much happier than I ever used to be. So if the litmus test is feeling free and happy then I am definitely there and its because I am allowing myself to crossdress instead of suppressing and feeling depressed.

    This runs counter to what this site is proposing but it works for me. I go to Mass every Sunday with the knowledge that God loves me even as I do not understand the source of my disphoria.

    For the record I have never been a crossdresser for sexual pleasure at all and simply suppressed and threw everything out but that was no way to live.

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  10. thorin25 says:

    Hi Joanna, I understand your comment and it makes sense. But according to Scripture, the Christian life involves suffering. That doesn’t prove that what you are doing is wrong. But it also means that what you are doing is not proven to be okay just because it makes you feel good. Following Jesus is all about denying ourselves, our pleasures, and our happiness in order to do what is right, serve others, and live for Jesus. So just because it makes you feel better doesn’t make it good. Just a thought. I’m really curious how you respond to this post since it deals with both crossdressing for sexual pleasure or gender dysphoria – https://healingcd.wordpress.com/2013/05/24/question-i-have-for-you-crossdressers/

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  11. Dramaking55 says:

    Joanna, I am glad that you go to mass on Sunday, but do you have a relationship with Jesus Christ? Have you met Jesus? The church that we attend or the things that we say or do within that church or denomination are different than having a relationship with Jesus. It is not about religion it is all about relationship and when you enter into that relationship you receive a gift of God within you that will change you. You will begin a journey where all of sudden that which seemed impossible now looks different to you and little by little the self that you are today will begin to die and the strength and power of the living Christ will become more and more alive to the point where your whole life will change. I don’t fault you or judge you for what you have been through but God didn’t send His Son to die for our sins and save us by His blood just so that we can be happy.
    The great theologian, C. S. Lewis once said:

    “I didn’t go to religion to make me happy. I always knew a bottle of Port would do that. If you want a religion to make you feel really comfortable, I certainly don’t recommend Christianity.”

    I once had a dream that gave me the courage to trust God with my life and in the end God looked at me and said “Did you really think that my son’s death would be so cheap?”

    What we discuss here is a radical thought that I love you as a person and I hurt when you hurt but I cannot applaud your behavior. I struggle to lose weight, but at some point I have to do the work to lose the pounds. This site and it’s members are here for you whenever you are ready to begin that process of change. A change that will go against everything the world has to say, but a change that will bring you unspeakable joy!

    Love you
    Andrew

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