I have to admit that when I think about crossdressing, I can come up with certain good qualities about it. This may surprise you to hear me say this. But it’s true. And these good qualities have often been the things that trip me up and get me to rationalize giving in to behavior that I ultimately believe is sinful and still harmful.
First, let’s look at the good qualities.
1. Creativity – There is definitely an artistry to crossdressing. There is even acting involved. You shape your body a certain way, you pick out clothes, you put makeup on your face, and maybe even choose a wig and hairstyle. This takes talent, skill, and design. In a sense you are creating something which was not, and making it to exist. We get our creativeness from God. He is the creator, and we long to create things as He did.
2. Learning about women in our culture – If you crossdress a certain way in a particular culture you learn about the experiences of women in that culture. Some of the things are very superficial, such as learning what it feels like to wear a skirt or to walk in high heels. These superficial things can give you appreciation and patience for what women do to look good. Or conversely, (as I’m trying to do), it will help you to not push women in your life to do all the unnecessary (sometimes painful or time consuming) things to try to look good. Furthermore, if you manage to pass in public as a woman, you may experience firsthand how women are treated.
3. Camaraderie – I have not experienced it, but perhaps friendships are born between crossdressers as they crossdress, disguise themselves together, and go out in public together. And friendship and camaraderie are good things. Perhaps even this camaraderie could be with the crossdresser’s wife. I have read rare cases of spouses enjoying this activity together.
Okay, you could potentially add a few more things. Now of course, I’d want to clarify these things more and explain why they aren’t as good as they might seem. But that’s not really the point of this post. Let’s just pretend that all of those are perfectly good things and the results of the activity of crossdressing. Does that make it okay? No. There are tons of reasons why I think it is sexually perverse, a confusion of identity, an addiction, a betrayal in marriage, furthering the objectifying of women, a confused way to try to meet unmet emotional needs, disobedience to God’s commands, etc. etc. You can read my other posts.
Just because an activity has certain good merits, doesn’t make it a good activity overall. You can have camaraderie with a fellow thief, but that doesn’t make stealing okay. You can be creative in making porn films or in planning to commit adultery, but it doesn’t make those things okay. You can buy a prostitute and learn about her difficult experience through your time with her, but that doesn’t make it okay. You can find a little nugget of truth or light in almost any book or movie ever made. But that doesn’t mean we should read or watch any book or movie. There are a lot of movies and books that are 99% trash and not worth watching. They will only rot our souls.
My point is that even if something has little hints of goodness, it doesn’t make that thing good. Pretty much anything you can think of has little bits of goodness, including the most horrendous atrocities and evils committed in the history of this world. Likewise, I do not believe crossdressing is a harmless good activity just because of these little nuggets of goodness I have mentioned.
The problem is that these good qualities make crossdressing so enticing and deceptive. When we are drawn to it, we focus on these good qualities, and we ignore the bad qualities. And then we give in to crossdressing in the heat of the moment, and regret it later.
This is why I’m drawn to crossdressing fiction stories that have nuggets of goodness. They don’t seem quite so bad if the husband and wife are not abusive to each other but actually love each other. My dreams about crossdressing that I unfortunately have once in a while, don’t seem as bad if my wife is lovingly encouraging the activity in the dream. But it doesn’t make the dreams or reading the stories good, just because there are a couple aspects of good in the stories.
This is why people are drawn to fornication. It seems good. It seems better than total promiscuity. And the love between the two people is good, so they conclude that the fornicating is good. But the fornication is still not good, even if the love they share is good. This is why people are drawn to adultery. It seems good. The non-spouse is showing love and affection the person hasn’t received in 10 years. It’s good love and affection that they need to feel good about life. But that good affection doesn’t make the adultery okay and good.
We must be on our guard especially when crossdressing seems so good and appealing. Think back to the garden of Eden with Adam and Eve. They ate the fruit even though God specifically told them not to do it. Why? The fruit was good to the eye! Genesis 3:1-6 –
Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?” 2 The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, 3 but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.’” 4 “You will not certainly die,” the serpent said to the woman. 5 “For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” 6 When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it.
And later, verse 13 – Then the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this you have done?” The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”
You see? Satan tempted Eve and Adam to sin. How did he do it? He took something forbidden and showed them a little bit of the goodness about it. They fixated on the goodness of it, its desirability, its pleasing look to the eye, the knowledge it would produce, but they ignored the command of God to not eat of it.
Satan and his demons are using the same strategies today. We must be on our guard. We must look at the whole nature of an activity, and not be deceived. Yes, crossdressing has a couple good qualities, but as a whole it is not a good activity. Here are some other Scripture passages on this same theme of being deceived and things appearing good. Please read them all slowly and carefully. Meditate on them. They are interesting and powerful.
Matthew 7:15 – Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves.
2 Corinthians 11:3 – But I am afraid that just as Eve was deceived by the serpent’s cunning, your minds may somehow be led astray from your sincere and pure devotion to Christ.
2 Corinthians 11:13-15 – For such people are false apostles, deceitful workers, masquerading as apostles of Christ. 14 And no wonder, for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light. 15 It is not surprising, then, if his servants also masquerade as servants of righteousness. Their end will be what their actions deserve.
John 8:44 – You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, and has nothing to do with the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies.
1 Timothy 4:1 – Now the Spirit expressly says that in later times some will depart from the faith by devoting themselves to deceitful spirits and teachings of demons.
Colossians 2:8 – See to it that no one takes you captive by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ.
Ephesians 6:11 – Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil.
Revelation 12:9 – And the great dragon was thrown down, that ancient serpent, who is called the devil and Satan, the deceiver of the whole world—he was thrown down to the earth, and his angels were thrown down with him.
2 Peter 2 – But there were also false prophets among the people, just as there will be false teachers among you. They will secretly introduce destructive heresies, even denying the sovereign Lord who bought them—bringing swift destruction on themselves. 2 Many will follow their depraved conduct and will bring the way of truth into disrepute. 3 In their greed these teachers will exploit you with fabricated stories. Their condemnation has long been hanging over them, and their destruction has not been sleeping.
13 They will be paid back with harm for the harm they have done. Their idea of pleasure is to carouse in broad daylight. They are blots and blemishes, reveling in their pleasures while they feast with you. 14 With eyes full of adultery, they never stop sinning; they seduce the unstable; they are experts in greed—an accursed brood! 15 They have left the straight way and wandered off to follow the way of Balaam son of Bezer, who loved the wages of wickedness. 16 But he was rebuked for his wrongdoing by a donkey—an animal without speech—who spoke with a human voice and restrained the prophet’s madness.
17 These people are springs without water and mists driven by a storm. Blackest darkness is reserved for them. 18 For they mouth empty, boastful words and, by appealing to the lustful desires of the flesh, they entice people who are just escaping from those who live in error. 19 They promise them freedom, while they themselves are slaves of depravity—for “people are slaves to whatever has mastered them.” 20 If they have escaped the corruption of the world by knowing our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and are again entangled in it and are overcome, they are worse off at the end than they were at the beginning. 21 It would have been better for them not to have known the way of righteousness, than to have known it and then to turn their backs on the sacred command that was passed on to them. 22 Of them the proverbs are true: “A dog returns to its vomit,” and, “A sow that is washed returns to her wallowing in the mud.”