Song – This is how it feels to be free

This is one of my favorite songs – “This is how it feels to be free.”  I remember a choir singing it once during a church service about victory over sexual sin.  The choir singing it was much more powerful than this rendition.  But perhaps that is just in my memory because the Holy Spirit was working in me during that church service long ago.  The pastor talked about God’s forgiveness, his healing of our hurts and pain and shame, and the victory we can have over the sins plaguing our lives.  The Holy Spirit worked in my heart that day and I sobbed uncontrollably for about 10 minutes after the service (tears of letting my pain from crossdressing out to God, tears of repentance, and most of all tears of joy knowing that I am forgiven and free in the Lord).  Today I truly feel free.  I don’t say that because I am somehow perfect without sin, (I even still fail with crossdressing fantasies in my mind once in a while), but I say that because the weight of my sin is gone.  And furthermore, I am not in bondage to sin.  Crossdressing is no longer controlling my life.  It’s like 400 pounds of bricks are off my heart and mind now that I’m no longer allowing crossdressing in my life.  And those were some toxic bricks that messed with my whole being in negative ways.

Here are the lyrics to the song.   This freedom can be yours as well in Jesus.  This is a freedom of not being in bondage to our sins, and being forgiven for our sins and made new in Christ.  It is a freedom that gives us the power to say “no” to things in our lives that are destructive, like crossdressing.

There is a wall that has been standing
Since the day that Adam fell
Sin is where it started
And Sin is why it held
Speaking as a prisoner
Who was there and lived to tell
I remember how it fell

I can hear the sound of freedom
Like a distant voice who called
And beckon me to follow
Where I had never gone
And though my heart is willing
I just stood there at the wall
Praying somehow it would fall

But in a cross I found a doorway
And a hand that held a key
And when the chains fell at my feet
For the first time I could see

Chorus:
This is how it feels to be free
This is what it means to know that
I am forgiven
This is how it feels to be free
To see that life can be more than I imagined
This is how it feels to be free
This is how it feels to be free Yeahhh!

There are days when I’m reminded
Of the prison I was in
Like a living nightmare
Burning from within
I can feel the voice of evil
I can hear the call of sin
But I wont go back again

See, once I’ve tasted freedom
Then the walls could bind no more
Since mercy gave me wings to fly
Like an eagle I can soar

Somewhere there’s a prison
Where the chains still burn
If not for the grace of god
Those walls could still be mine
So far all the captives are saved

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