My name is Andrew and I have been in recovery for over 20 years from CD, sex, and lust. I have also been saved by the blood of Jesus Christ my Lord. I grew up in Chicago in a very dysfunctional home without a father till I was 8yrs. old and then my mother married what turned out to be an abusive alcoholic. I made a lot of bad choices in my childhood and some of those choices made me a victim for many years. I began cross dressing in my mind along with masturbation at the tender age of 10 yrs. old and it wasn’t long after that I started to CD in private at my home and also at a “friends” house that molested me till I was 17 and went into the Navy.
The desire was very strong to CD and about 5 yrs ago I lived as a woman more than as a man. This brought much heartache to my wife and also my son, but as I was to learn CD is a selfish and self-centered activity. Even though I had been through many recovery groups and even though I was a Christian I continued to live in duality with my masculine self constantly warring against my femme self until there was a psychological break in my psyche. I ended up retiring with a disability and began to realize that although I had a strong faith in God and in Jesus, I still had a very hard time actually trusting God with my whole life.
A few years ago I had a major dream that shook me to my core and what happened after that has become one of my biggest blessings. I went to work on myself, my faith and my lack of trust and in 2011 I found this blog.
I would comment on various posts and I joined our prayer chain and over the years, I found that God was taking my whole life’s experiences and making them all work out for His good. I still struggle with temptation and will till Christ calls me home, but within these pages I have found a home and a family of men that I am blessed to know and have come to love as we fight this good fight. I realized that if I was going to be used by God to do some work for the Kingdom I had to commit to working on me and also taking my life’s experiences and sharing them with other hurting men.
There are many who come to this blog for relief from a sin that has had them in bondage and this blog and all it’s posts can be the sanctuary for many. Due to the worlds view that there are no absolutes anymore I have even had the opportunity to dialogue with others who do not hold to the same beliefs as myself, so we all get the opportunity to grow.
As I get further down this journey I see now how fragile our sobriety is. I am not perfect but I am better than I used to be and with that I can say that it is all good. Praise God!
Thank you for fighting with me
*Extra note from me, Thorin – Andrew has been a tremendous blessing to me from the Lord. He has encouraged me greatly and has helped me to manage this blog, approving comments, and commenting at times when I am busy with real life ministry. He also has been a great help in managing our prayer chain and praying for/encouraging the other guys.