I came across this quote from another blog. I found it quite interesting, so I read the whole original article.
Amy Bloom, in her article from 2002, Conservative Men in Conservative Dresses, wrote :
“The greatest difficulty people have with cross-dressers, I think, is that cross-dressers wear their fetish, and the gleam in their eyes, however muted by time or habit, the unmistakable presence of a lust being satisfied or a desire being fulfilled in that moment, in your presence, even by your presence, is unnerving. The combination of the cross-dressers’ own arousal and anxiety and our responsive anxiety and discomfort is more than most of us can bear. We may not mind foot fetishists, but we may not wish to watch them either. ”
From my experience, and from talking to others, this quote speaks the truth. People are disturbed by our behavior and we need to understand that and accept it. And of course I would add, they should be disturbed by our behavior. Come on men, let’s stop giving in to this messed up behavior.
Also interesting was how the author detected that the men who are crossdressing are men with very firm gender stereotypes about women, stereotypes that I find too traditional, too focused on superficial appearances, and disturbing. Understand this! Part of my healing from crossdressing has also been a healing in my marriage, not viewing women and my wife in such a stereotypical way, no longer gently pressuring her to wear high heels and makeup, not being bothered that she is a very strong person, emotionally and physically.