An Overview of Sex Addiction – Article

This is a helpful article explaining the ins and outs of sexual addictions – An Overview of Sex Addiction by Dorothy Hayden.  I really thought it accurate in many ways.  However when the author claimed that most of these addictions are the result of bad mother-child relationships or dysfunctional families, that threw me for a loop because that was not my experience and I know for many other crossdressers that was not their experience.

Here are some choice quotes that I think particularly relate to us who have struggled with crossdressing:

The majority of sexual compulsives live in isolation, filled with feelings of shame. Almost 100 percent of the people who come to me for an initial consultation — whether it be for compulsive use of prostitutes, phone sex, a fetish, cross dressing, or masochistic encounters with dominatrixes — relay that beneath the shame they feel in telling me their story, they also experience a sense of freedom that comes from finally being able to share with another human being the hidden, shameful, sexually compulsive acts that imprison them.

The life of a sex addict gradually becomes very small. The freedom of self is impaired. Energies are consumed. The rapacious need for a particular kind of sexual experience drives the addict to spend untold hours in the world of his addiction. 

Sexualizing is used as a magical elixir to meet needs without having to negotiate the ups and downs of intimate relationships.
(Just think about how crossdressing creates a fake woman instead of a real one you can talk to).

Patients often report that they feel fraudulent, living two separate lives with two different sets of values and goals. They feel they’re acting out a version of “The Strange Case of Dr. Jekell and Mr. Hyde.”

 

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