This is a good article for thinking about the role of your wife as you recover from a crossdressing addiction. What Every Wife of a Sex Addict Has a Right to Know About Her Husband’s Recovery. It can be difficult to know how much to tell her and how to involve her in a way that is appropriate and helpful to you both.
My own philosophy for my marriage, and what I usually suggest for men who are recovering from crossdressing is this. Confess to your wife in a general way about your addiction. Make sure you have a very long talk so that she can understand what a crossdressing addiction entails and what it doesn’t. But leave out the specifics about what you have done. The details aren’t necessary and only give her graphic images in her mind and could hurt the marriage. She needs your confession, and hopefully forgives you. But she doesn’t need every detail. And then keep her posted on your recovery, what you are doing, and how you are progressing, but again, don’t give her every detail. That is for your accountability partner. Your wife doesn’t need to know about every relapse of wearing female clothing again. She doesn’t need to know about every perverted thought that goes through your head. But she does need to know you are taking your recovery seriously, that you have a support group or accountability partner, and that you are making progress. And I believe she should be allowed to ask anything she wants and you should answer honestly. You can advise that it might not be helpful for her to know all the details. But if she wants to ask questions, you should answer. After all, according to 1 Corinthians 7, she owns you!
This has worked very well in my own marriage. My wife did not want to know all the details. But it was good for her to know who I am and what I’ve struggled with and how I have found freedom. And her giving me forgiveness and me receiving it, was vital. Today my wife and I can talk freely about my former addiction and about this website.