I wanted to share something that I don’t remember if I shared before or not. But I was just thinking about it the other day and it was so encouraging to me. I guess this is sharing quite intimate details but I’m sure many of you can relate.
At the beginning of my marriage, sex was new and exciting and I never had any problems being stimulated and aroused by my wife. However, as the years went on, it became harder and harder, partly from marriage problems, and partly because of my addiction to crossdressing. Sometimes, in the middle of foreplay, I would become frustrated at my lack of arousal, and purposely think about crossdressing fantasies in order to be aroused. I always felt rotten and incredibly guilty about such times, but it was a fairly common happening.
The healing I’ve experienced from crossdressing addiction has been gradual and it’s been (and continues to be) a long process. The process of change happens so slowly that you don’t easily notice all the significant changes. As an example, one day you wake up and realize you haven’t had a single temptation in months!
But I want to go back to what I said about the marriage bed. I just realized that I haven’t thought about crossdressing in the marriage bed for a very very long time. I can’t remember the last time. It’s likely been years. And I have no problems in bed anymore. Although sex has become routine and habit and not new and thrilling, it’s good, and my wife can arouse me just by being herself, without me thinking about anything perverse in my mind, crossdressing or pornography or anything else. This feels like freedom and good progress. Thank you Lord. The process of sanctification and change is slow, but if we are willing to keep at it, change happens. I hope the same can happen for all of you.