Many people have made the claim that I advocate suppressing your crossdressing desires. I do not actually make that claim. It is not healthy. We must acknowledge that those desires are there, and consciously choose not to act on them. If we just try to ignore the thoughts, sometimes that only makes them more powerful. And if we try to deny to ourselves that we really have such feelings, they will come out in an unhealthy explosion later. No, we should not suppress them. We need to acknowledge them, deal with them, understand them, and then choose not to act on them.
This article from – Your Brain on Porn – talks about to deal with temptations in a healthy way that does not involve suppressing them.
When I get tempted to crossdress, I use this “RAIN“approach from the article, without consciously thinking about the acronym. I feel the temptation come. My body starts feeling weird and tense. I recognize that, yes, I do have a desire to crossdress. I then might even explore that desire. What am I really desiring? Do I desire to read crossdressing fiction? Do I want to wear women’s clothing? Or maybe I just am wanting a sexual release and crossdressing is the easiest way to get it? Or sometimes maybe it’s not about the sexual release, and something about the “femininity” is attracting me. So I don’t push the desire away. I think about it and try to understand the underlying motivations for that desire in that moment.
Once I understand it, then I choose to reject it, and apply the proper real solution. If it is that I’m bored, I find something productive to do. If it is that I need sexual release, I will plan a time of sex with my wife, or if she is gone on a trip, then I may masturbate (I use that one sparingly). If I am lonely, I will go spend time with God or another person. If I’m feeling stressed, I will find comfort in God’s Word. If I’m feeling bad about myself, and my masculinity, and desiring to be a woman, then I’ll combat the lies in my head with logical truths from God’s Word, about what it really means to be a man or a woman, and then seek contentment in the real situation I am in, knowing that I cannot really change my sex.
I think if many of you use this method, you will be able to calmly and rationally say “no” to temptations.