Necessity of a Mirror

There have been so many times in the past that I rationalized my addiction to crossdressing through such simple thoughts like –

But they are just clothes.”
I’m just being myself, allowing the feminine part of my personality out.”
This is not sexual, it’s about my identity.”
This isn’t narcissistic, it’s self-expression.”
It’s just that these clothes are more comfortable.”
I’m only doing this as a hobby, and for relaxation.”

These thoughts are such stupid false rationalizations.  And one reality clearly blows them all out of the water by itself, aside from the tons of other arguments I’ve made that show these statements to be false.  That is the necessity of a mirror.  At least in my own experience the mirror was necessary.  When I crossdressed, I might have told myself such things, but I would still spend all of my time in front of a mirror, or at least just sitting and looking at myself.

When my wife expresses herself through choosing her clothing, she doesn’t spend hours in front of a mirror.  If she did, I would think her very vain. So how could I delude myself to think that those rationalizations were true?

There are two options.  Either A.  I was being very vain and narcissistic.
Or B.  I was using myself as a replacement woman to be lusting after.

Of course for me, crossdressing was sexual,  otherwise why could I only ever enjoy crossdressing when ogling myself or looking at myself in the mirror?

My crossdressing brothers out there,  I plead with you, not out of hate, but out of love for you, please wake up to the reality of what crossdressing is.  If you are going to do it, at least face the reality of it honestly.  Don’t give yourself false rationalizations.  Look at the reality of the mirror in your crossdressing life.  Some may argue that they don’t need the mirror (but then are you getting your thrills instead through people looking at you, as you “pass” as a woman?).  That is still either sexual or focused on self or both.


4 comments on “Necessity of a Mirror

  1. Destry Dancy says:

    To me, the last one seems to be the most legit. Crossdressing without a mirror would be no fun but if you have a camera you can take selfies which was fun. Also when I went out in public for the first time it felt kinda good to go out into the world dressed as a woman. I did not get any stares as I remember and a salesman even talked to me but I couldn’t talk to him back so I just turn him down with mere gestures. Still the most harmful thing about crossdressing for me was the envy. It ate me alive and held me back in life and I just had to stop. I have watched porn for years for sexual gratification and I still struggle with it, however, it never brought me the pain crossdressing did even though porn was one contributing factor to me crossdressing.


  2. robmilliken says:

    This article is so true! Without God coloring our view of ourselves with His word and presence in our lives. The enemy blinds our view of ourselves into a mirage of non existant beliefs, ideas, and opinions concerning our crossdressing. That we buy so deeply that we’re convinced of an obvious lie.Prior to returning to the Lord I clearly recall admiring myself in the mirror wearing a dress that because of my shapeless male frame must have looked hideous! Yet I believed the enemies lies that whispered to me how fem and cute I looked! LOL! However when Christ comes into our hearts He thankfully rearranges the furniture of our thinking Praise God! Removing the veil from our eyes and allowing us to see our sin disguisting sin for what it is….


  3. Kirk says:

    Thorin, You’re so spot on with your descriptions that it’s like your reading our minds. But the truth of it all is that we’re all being fed the same lies; Ephesians 6:12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
    After reading that post the first thing that came to my mind is this verse from the bible; John 8:32 Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.
    I was baptized as an infant in the Lutheran Church, confirmed at age 14, and accepted Christ Jesus again as my savior a few years ago but it took me 5 years of attending 12 step meetings, working the steps, talking with brothers in program, changing my radio station to Christian rock, listening to christian preachers on podcasts on a regular basis, attending church, praying every day, and reading this blog till only within the last few months it finally clicked in my head what it means to live by and accept God’s grace as the precious and sacred gift that it is. It’s not that I’ve not heard what it means but I was allowing condemnation through the devil’s lies by way of guilt and shame to rule me for most of my life. By accepting God’s grace not only in my mind but also in my heart has made a world of a difference in my recovery so much so that now when I slip up I repent, ask for forgiveness, and then get on with my day. It took all those years to finally click but I’m so grateful because now I’m starting to experience the joy Joyce Meyers talks about in her podcasts. Nearly 40 years of consistent programming takes years of reprogramming so I urge those of you still struggling, still not getting it, not understanding what it is to live by the grace of God to not give up. Keep fighting the good fight for Christ Jesus, our Lord and Saviour.
    Thorin, God has given you this beautiful gift of communicating clearly what the truth is and it helps us in our journey, thank you! It’s amazing how God turns our tragedies into his triumphs, isn’t it? Keep up the good work my friend in channeling God’s work through you for his glory. Amen!


  4. thorin25 says:

    Thanks Kirk, I appreciate the encouragement. Like you, I have a broken past with crossdressing, but I figure, why not turn around what Satan used for evil, and make it do some good to help others? But at the same time, all the guys here keep me going and help me to keep fighting the good fight


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