There have been so many times in the past that I rationalized my addiction to crossdressing through such simple thoughts like –
“But they are just clothes.”
“I’m just being myself, allowing the feminine part of my personality out.”
“This is not sexual, it’s about my identity.”
“This isn’t narcissistic, it’s self-expression.”
“It’s just that these clothes are more comfortable.”
“I’m only doing this as a hobby, and for relaxation.”
These thoughts are such stupid false rationalizations. And one reality clearly blows them all out of the water by itself, aside from the tons of other arguments I’ve made that show these statements to be false. That is the necessity of a mirror. At least in my own experience the mirror was necessary. When I crossdressed, I might have told myself such things, but I would still spend all of my time in front of a mirror, or at least just sitting and looking at myself.
When my wife expresses herself through choosing her clothing, she doesn’t spend hours in front of a mirror. If she did, I would think her very vain. So how could I delude myself to think that those rationalizations were true?
There are two options. Either A. I was being very vain and narcissistic.
Or B. I was using myself as a replacement woman to be lusting after.
Of course for me, crossdressing was sexual, otherwise why could I only ever enjoy crossdressing when ogling myself or looking at myself in the mirror?
My crossdressing brothers out there, I plead with you, not out of hate, but out of love for you, please wake up to the reality of what crossdressing is. If you are going to do it, at least face the reality of it honestly. Don’t give yourself false rationalizations. Look at the reality of the mirror in your crossdressing life. Some may argue that they don’t need the mirror (but then are you getting your thrills instead through people looking at you, as you “pass” as a woman?). That is still either sexual or focused on self or both.