Link – Accepting a trans identity only makes dysphoria worse

Here is an interesting link at a blog called – “Third Way Trans.”  The author doesn’t have my same standpoint on crossdressing and transgender issues, and he appears to more neutral on the issues.  He is not saying that transitioning to live as the opposite sex is always wrong, but he is also willing to question it and caution people that it might not be the best solution to their gender dysphoria.  I appreciate his insights.

In this blog post he discusses how once a person accepts that they are “transgender” and make it a part of their identity, they become less contented with their life and with the world, not more contented as might be expected.  Their gender dysphoria, hurt, and pain increases, and since there is ultimately no possible way to change our sex/gender, even with our advanced medical technology, the person may end up feeling more pain and dissatisfaction in life, than if they had instead tried to be content living as a man.  Those who are considering such a drastic change in their lives, whether Christian or not, should pay attention to this author’s cautions.

The serenity prayer which he quotes is a great one for all of us, whether we are struggling with gender dysphoria, or a more sexualized crossdressing addiction:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.”

We would do well to memorize this prayer and focus on contentment rather than fantasizing about things that we cannot actually change.
The Apostle Paul says –

Philippians 4:10-13

10 I rejoiced greatly in the Lord that at last you renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you were concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. 11 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength.


3 comments on “Link – Accepting a trans identity only makes dysphoria worse

  1. Michael29 says:

    Hmm… I had a question, Thorin. What you said before writing out the passage Philippians 4:10-13, about focusing on contentment rather than fantasizing about things we actually cannot change… do you really think that which I just summarized about what you wrote applies to the scripture you posted – meaning Philippians 4:10-13? I ask for two reason: one, what I just asked above & the other part is because I’m right now bombarded w/ so many thoughts of fantasy & my own wants, envy, coveting, etc. that I’m trying to wrap my head around this never-ending question that goes sort of like this: “Why do most men not like to wear things that are softer & stereo-typically ‘feminine’?” From more than enough experience, I know that this type of questioning is usually – if not always – destructive (& a tremendous waste of energy too). Though, I am finding so many of my days when it seems like no matter what I do, I cannot get this out of my head, even when I’m in complete agony. Thanks Thorin.


  2. thorin25 says:

    Paul was writing from prison. Of course he didn’t want to be in prison. But he learned to be content even in situations he didn’t like.

    When those thoughts are plaguing you, it comes down to self-control, one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit. And 2 Corinthians 10:5 – 5 We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

    Other men don’t long for the same things you mentioned because there sexuality has not been warped in the same way that ours has. Another man is out there saying, why don’t other men desperately long to commit adultery, or take a prostitute, or get involved in sadism, or long after children, like me? We are all super messed up in our sexuality. Ours is not as common as many ways of being messed up.

    There are many reasons a man might long for certain “feminine” clothing, but mostly it boils down to 1 of 2 reasons, or perhaps a combo of both. 1. There is a brokenness in his mind in regards to his sense of self and gender, and somehow he thinks fabric is going to heal those wounds and feelings. 2. He is sexually turned on to that clothing, or creating a woman to be attracted to through putting the clothing on himself


  3. Michael29 says:

    Thank you for your reply, I’ve had some experiences today & yesterday drew me in to trust him like I haven’t before, & I was able to run many different thoughts, feelings, attitudes, behaviours, etc by God & by doing so the lies that they were were made clear w/ his light. your second paragraph helped to verify that which I was experiencing. As for your last paragraph, I believe I have all of those.


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