Painful story about dealing with a transgender partner

This is the story of a woman and the pain she went through dealing with her partner (husband maybe?) who was a crossdresser addict, who crossdressed for sexual pleasure until finally convincing himself that he was transgender.

The writer claims to be a radical feminist and much of her blog is about such topics.  I am not advocating for the content of the blog itself, nor the attitude of the author towards issues of gender and transgender.  While some of what she says in other posts about transgender I believe to be true, much of it comes in vulgar language, and is certainly not from a Christian perspective and worldview.  I would recommend not reading any of the other posts.

However, I can affirm that much of what she has written in her story, from my experience, is true not only of her partner but also of many crossdressers.  I have heard so many stories similar to hers since starting this blog ministry.

Read it here – Gas Mark Six

In her story she shows very clearly the issue of escalation in the lives of crossdressers.  When giving in to crossdressing, we can never be content.  The addiction escalates and escalates until crossdressing has consumed our lives completely.  We aren’t content until we can be fully and completely a real woman (which cannot happen).  And in cases like the man in the story, we can’t really get what we want, because we want to be real women while at the same time masturbating and having sexual pleasure as a man.  It’s hard to imagine that this man cannot see the foolishness of his actions, and yet this story is just one of thousands.

On the issue of emotional abuse I think she is right. I don’t agree with a lot of what feminists say, but I do believe they are right when they talk about masculine bullying and manipulating coming from transgendered husbands.  I have seen this time and again from other stories.  Trying to force your wife to live as a lesbian is abuse enough, let alone all the lying, manipulation, and guilt trips.

I’m sad to say that what she says about her counselor is also not unique.  For a counselor to lay all the blame on her instead of her husband is unconscionable.  That counselor should lose their license.   I have lost a lot of faith in secular counselors.  I’m hesitant to send those struggling with crossdressers to counselors because so many counselors are absolutely clueless about crossdressing and transgenderism and instead of truly trying to help someone quit crossdressing and accept their male selves, they will encourage them in their delusions.  They are going along with the culture which says that whatever people want to do is fine, we should not judge.  It’s foolishness.  I’d much prefer to send people to Christian counselors or pastors.

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4 comments on “Painful story about dealing with a transgender partner

  1. Joe Osteen says:

    How do you know what clothing is male vs female clothing. God does not clearly define that because clothing g is just fabric. Nothing wrong with cross dressing. It’s a form of self expression

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  2. thorin25 says:

    In every society that has ever lived, there is clothing made for females versus clothing made for males. Men’s and women’s bodies are shaped differently. I thought this should be obvious. Styles differ from culture to culture, but each culture has general styles and expectations for what men and women should wear. Crossdressers, as you well know, are not just wearing dresses to look like men in dresses, they are trying to look like women.

    Your statement that clothing is just fabric seems like a powerful statement, but the reality is that there is not a single crossdresser who really believes it. If it was truly just fabric, they would be able to easily stop crossdressing, the fact is, it’s not easy for them to do so.

    Read this post –
    https://healingcd.wordpress.com/2012/04/26/they-are-just-clothes-right/

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  3. Paul Samson says:

    Joe,

    Having struggled with TG I can say that clothing isn’t just fabric. Female clothing has a hold over the person who is crossdressing.

    My wife can wear a pair of jeans and to her it’s just a pair of jeans. She doesn’t get turned on wearing them or have a desire to look like a man.

    If I put on a skirt all sorts of desires kick off. I want to wear other items of female clothing, try to look and act like a woman, and it usually ends in masturbation. Then, even though I felt great shame, the next day (sometimes even only minutes later) I would be wanting to dress up again. If it was just fabric it wouldn’t have that hold over me.

    With regards to what is women’s clothing and what is men’s, those same desires would also happen if I put on a pair of women’s jeans. It happened because they were cut for the female form.

    In the past I tried to rationalise wearing women’s clothing by saying it was just fabric and it wasn’t any different to women wearing jeans, T shirts etc. But I came to see that all I was doing was deceiving myself and leading myself into an ever deeper trap from which I couldn’t escape. It needed the power of the risen Christ to deliver me.

    Paul

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  4. Snip says:

    Joe,

    If it isn’t bad, why do you feel a need to defend it?

    If it isn’t bad, any do people need to band together to support someone who thinks it’s so right. (Would they really need any more support than anyone else?)

    If it isn’t bad, why are we so ashamed of it?

    I could go on for a while with many of my own examples, but I’ve made the point that our very actions show how bad these addictions are.

    One last one: if it isn’t bad, why are families destroyed by it?

    I’ve had the same thoughts you are having. I understand what you mean, but now I see my history through no pink fog.

    You can overcome cd-ing. This blog can help

    Like

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