Freud on Crossdressing

Merry Christmas everyone!  This is an unusual post to do right before Christmas, but it’s what I had ready to go.  Sorry about that.  For an inspirational post about Christmas, see this one from last year – Christmas Meditation.

 

On to the subject matter of this post.  I remember when I first explored the issue of crossdressing on the internet when I was young, one of the first things I found was a website talking about Freud’s view of crossdressing, the “sexual inversion hypothesis.”  While Freud had a lot of crazy and strange views, and I surely disagree with him on many, if not most, psychological matters, I do think there is some merit to his idea here.  Maybe not the whole idea as he has packaged it, but at least the central point, which is that the man’s sexual desire for women is somehow diverted, or inverted, so that he desires himself dressed as a woman, instead of a real woman.  Even as a youth addicted to crossdressing, this idea made perfect sense to me and fit my situation.  Today, I still think it describes the situation well of many, (but not all), crossdressers today.  I say so not because of scientific evidence, but based on my experience and the stories of most other crossdressers I have ever read.

Here is an article that explains Freud’s view on this.  It is a very interesting read.  “Freud’s Sexual Inversion Hypothesis and Crossdressing.”

Where I disagree with Freud is how this condition is caused.  He argued that it could be due to thinks like incestual thoughts towards a mother, or problems with the relationship with our mothers in general.  I don’t think any of that makes sense.  However, the third class of causes, “facilitating experiences,” would actually fit a bit with my own story.

Why am I posting about Freud at all?  Because on this blog I like to link to and reference many different views and articles on crossdressing, so that all of us can read the information that is out there, and continue to wrestle, struggle, wonder about, and think through our crossdressing issues.  One of the best ways to understand an issue is to read about it from many different perspectives, even perspectives as strange as Freud’s.  But like I said, I think his idea has at least some truth in it.  The basic idea that we are sexually attracted to ourselves as women is something I’ve repeatedly blogged about.

I’ll list some quotes from the above website for those who might not have time to read the whole thing.  Quotations:

With respect to crossdressing, the idea is that the sexual feelings a male would ordinarily direct towards women, are, in the crossdresser, diverted. They become instead directed towards female clothing, or towards the crossdresser himself as an imagined female.Sexual feelings must be understood to encompass a variety of distinct sensations and emotions, including:

  • the giddiness or high that a man feels when attracted to a woman
  • soft, tactile gratifications of holding and touching
  • sexual arousal
  • stimulation of erogenous zones
  • release of sexual tension with orgasm

In the “normal” male, these sensations and feelings are elicited in various phases of courtship and mating with a female, and to some degree also in other relationships with women.  Inversion implies that for some reason, the normal process is not followed, such that the man chooses to experience some or all of these types of pleasurable feelings by himself.  As evidence that something like this is going on, consider the prominence that mirrors have in the life of the crossdresser. Indeed, one wonders whether, if there were no mirrors or cameras, there would even be crossdressing.  The crossdresser sees in the mirror a reasonable facsimile of a woman. Many of the same cues that a man finds sexually attractive in a woman are in that image–the clothes, makeup, hair, nuances of expression, etc. It seems fairly clear that a crossdresser obtains sexual enjoyment (by the broad definition of ‘sexual’ above) from his own image.  The basic concept of inversion is thus simple enough–the man chooses to display the attractive features of women, and to enjoy those, rather than to enjoy these features as present in an actual women.”

 

A main implication is that crossdressing of this kind is not an ideal state (note: all comments here only apply to inversion-caused crossdressing). It is a misdirection of sexual energies from their original purpose. It might be too strong to call it “pathological.” But the theory does imply that crossdressing impairs self-actualization. Crossdressing risks violating the organic integrity of the male. It affects the unity of his essence. Part of him is still committed to women and to finding higher levels of fulfillment through his love of women. But the crossdressing diverts energy from this. By not adequately investing his sexual urges in women, his relationships with women potentially do not become as deep and fulfilling as they might otherwise become.

Like all neurotic or defensive behavior, there is an inherent paradox with such crossdressing. It is a “good” strategy short-term, but not long-term. For any given day or week, crossdressing provides pleasure and escape from anxiety. But what are the consequences, what opportunities lost by following the strategy for 10 years, 20 years or more?

The crossdresser basically experiences a highly refined version of infantile sexuality. It is highly fantasy laden, and extremely narcissistic. Some would argue that the very purpose of erotic pleasure is to tie us more deeply to other people. Yet in the crossdresser the pursuit of sexual pleasure tends to have the opposite effect of driving him away from people and into himself.”

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8 comments on “Freud on Crossdressing

  1. Don says:

    I totally agree with what you said, and I would like to add a few comments.

    The difference for a man sexually excited from a woman vs crossdressing is that with the women, she is going to do whatever she wants visually. If she wears some sexy clothing, even a crossdresser will get excited. If she wears the same thing over and over, then the thrill is gone. I have experienced that with my wife.

    When crossdressing we have total control over what is sexually attracted to us, and if it needs to be a little different to get excited, we can. With crossdressers the possibilities are endless, but with a woman, she will begin to understand that it is the clothes, not her that is exciting. As you all know there is a limit to what you can get her to wear. Porn addicts experience the same thing and it so much more powerful than sex with a woman. I am the person who is taking spironolactone and it’s still working to control my desire. The desire is still strong, you can never get rid of erotic imprint, but I can control it. It’s still no fun.

    So it’s so much more than inverted, it’s a much different experience.

    I have had some time to myself, and I found a new survey for 2015 with 28,000 transgendered answering question. It turns out that now, over 60% of transgendered are now accepted by their family. 20 % not and 8% are kicked out of the house. You should be easily find it http://www.ustranssurvey.org/ .

    I know that it is sinful, but this is a huge reversal of public opinion. When my family and friend rejected me in 2012, now I reailze that it was not sin that they were rejecting me for. It was based on not knowing anything about the subject and refusing to read anything on it.

    It was fear, and unloving,and in some cases hate, and these were all very nice people. At least the survey makes me feel better that the majority of families choose to love, and now I am very disappointed in some of my friends,although I forgave them, they are worth it., My children still will not talk to me after 5 years but other friends came back when I rejected crossdressing and resumed a normal life. The ones that came back said that they could not stand losing the friendship. That’s what forgiveness is.

    The vast majority of transgendered people are kind and loving and that’s why families are choosing to love rather than reject.

    I saw on TV yesterday, families were visiting prisoners with a lifetime sentence and their hugging and kissing is genuine. Family relationships have nothing to do with sin. The ones that don’t approve should try to help the person to get better, and if that fails, at least maintain kind contact.

    Very few people are rejected because of other sins. The rejectors are simply acting out of self centered without trying to understand the issues. And they choose their feelings over anyone elses. I’m sure that they are not forgiving of anyone in their life that hurts them. My daughter is on the surface is a very devout Bible believing woman. She never saw me as fem. I hope that eventually the public will show them an example.

    Oh, by the way, the survey said that the religious families were the most intolerant. Interesting that non Christians are not aware of the forgiveness of Christ and the reason why they need to forgive and love their enemies, in order to be forgiving by God. The Christians are well aware of that, but they choose to go with their feelings instead. The non Christian’s care.

    I have forgiven everyone and wait for their return to me.

    There, I have had my rant.

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  2. Temptedsinner says:

    Don,
    I don’t consider that as a rant! Perhaps more accurately, the testimony of someone who is or was deeply hurt..
    I wish I had time to say more….. Christ IS Mercy !

    May his peace rest in your heart this Christmas this season.

    Thank You
    Tempted

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  3. thorin25 says:

    Don good to hear from you. Glad to see that you are still around reading posts. Although your guest post doesn’t get many comments, it gets a lot of traffic, so people are quite interested in your story and your suggestions.

    I agree and disagree with you about Christians. I have loved transsexuals and homosexuals in my real life, as well as people from other religions. Yet I’ve often been called a bigot and hateful, just for having different moral views even if I don’t treat a person any different. A lot of times Christians are branded as unloving and unforgiving even though they aren’t.

    Also, sometimes Christians are referred to as intolerant when they exercise church discipline, trying to get someone in the church to stop sinning. The world will always hate Christians for doing church discipline. But it is necessary and if you stop doing it, you are no longer a true Christian church. However, I think part of the problem is that some churches treat different sins differently, and on that I agree with you. Some churches want to do church discipline for homosexuality and transgenderism, but they not for pornography, divorce, and materialism, etc. If you pick and choose when it comes to church discipline that is a sure fire way to ruin a church and be viewed as hateful and intolerant.

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  4. robmilliken says:

    Dear Brothers Good Morning! Love this Freud article on cd’ing you posted Thorin! It does seem relevent to our temptation too cd. I also partially agree with Freud’s concept of how mother figure’s play into our overall cd’ing situation. For example while I love my mother on one hand. I admit that I struggle sometimes to forgive her! I’ve sadly come to realize how basically selfish and micro managing she is. As she has aged she has lost the “mask” that kept me from seeing it when she was younger and more willing to mask one’s real self. As a child there were grave sexual issues occurring between my Father and older step sister. Through the decades I suspected something like that might have been the case? I was basically in personal denial of that probability until finally grasping with the truth back in 2004. Women of the early 60’s era had no legal representation and had little recourse but to either leave the home and or have very strong evidence of a husbands infidelity to present to a divorce court. And children had no rights and simply were not listened too, nor believed as they are today. So I understand why my Mother didn’t leave my Dad, security is important to a Mother. Starting over as a female single parent was difficult back then, and nearly unheard of! But in opting to stay and simply submit to my Dad’s dysfunctional interests in my step sister. Mom decided that retribution against Dad was her only means of hurting him as he had hurt her. So she exacted her revenge on him through his eldest son, me. And while for many decades after I relished those sinful cd memories my mom and I made together, I realize now I was just a pawn in their twisted games to hurt each other. If we fast forward to nowadays, there’s an awful lot of TG children these days, especially crossdressing male one’s. Whose parents (especially the mothers) swear that their son expressed a desire to be a girl through his interest in Barbie dolls or princess costume’s at ages 2-5. But can we really believe that a mother or female sibling/relative had no influence whatsoever in her son’s/bro/nephew, etc. new found desires to be a girl? After all I personally have never read a TG kids account of events, where a Female sibling, relative, or mom admitted their duplicity in feminizing or at least influencing a male child to without warning suddenly want to behave like a girl, have you?  Naturally we as born again Christians might conclude that satanic influence or possibly even demonic oppression influenced a toddler age boy to believe that he should’ve been born a girl. And indeed I believe that once a child reaches the age of accountability somewhere between 3-7 years, this may be true? However initially speaking I don’t think a two year old has the mental capacity to make such an important life changing decision.  This is why tend to agree with Sigmund Freud. No one likes to think their mother or any female relative could possibly be that manipulative and get away with damaging their own child be it conscious or unconsciously. But as proof more goes on with women regarding children who cd, lemme offer a couple examples. In 1978 at age 22 I had a female coworker whom I was having lunch with. At the time I was away from Christ and actively looking for a gf that would embrace my cd’ing with me. My coworker shared with me that she along with other mom’s in her neighborhood had decided to introduce their sons to girls pj’s and dolls.  Even forbidding most televised sports broadcasts to not only their sons, but husbands too! By 1985 I had a female supervisor who had a very shy son who always seemed to be in the company of his female cousin, and wore his hair in the same short ladies style his mom did. I was bold in my younger days so I asked his mom, my boss about it. She told me “I don’t know why men have to be so macho anyway”. As she went on to describe buying her son girls under wear and nighties. My supervisor was working most of the time and explained that her sons older cousin was his babysitter and lived with them.  From what I learned my bosses niece only reinforced the damaging female influence on this young boy. It’s really no secret and certainly not rocket science to realize that Women in general, sometimes even born again ones. Don’t understand how vulnerable masculinity is! They tend to think that allowing or influencing cd behavior in little boys is no more than “playing games”. Or in the case of my mother she used our cd “games” (as she called them, in a 2006 admission too her role in cd’ing me) in a deliberate attempt to keep me away from my dad and to securely tie me up in her apron strings, where I still am today, and can’t seem to escape? After all had my mother admitted that her plans for me were more about HER selfish desire to avenge HERself. She would be socially branded a “bad mom”! And this is something females avoid at all costs! Totally opposite we men, female are raised with the goals of Sugar, Spice, and Everything nice, right? If they fail at these lofty goals then they fail socially as women. Therefore it’s imperative to keep certain not so nice behaviors, manipulations, and devisiveness on the DL!  Taking my thoughts a step further this nearly criminal lack of female truthfulness and trickery is I believe one of the hidden forces (besides the enemy)  happening in today’s sudden increase of pre school age boys demanding to be girls? Females are behind this yet hiding their agenda’s be they innocent or otherwise. Because if they don’t the world will reject them….Merry Christmas and a Blest New Years To You All My Brothers!! Rob M.

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  5. Don says:

    Hi Thorin, It’s good to hear from you too. I understand what you are saying about Christians that are doing what the Bible says about treatment of sinners, but with family, the Lords second greatest commandment LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF takes presidence over other instructions.

    Especially with family, love should be unconditional. What the survey said, and we all have seen this, is that families that never want to see their family member again because of transsexual or gay and are Christians is much worst than non Christians.

    To me it’s like murder, because I will probably never see
    my children again, never enjoy their company, just like death. I say this with sadness not anger.

    There are a lot of instructions in the Bible but we have to use them intelligently and use the one with the least harm. They are not all equal. I think some Christians might worry about how other devout Christians might think about them instead of how their family member feels, which is again self centeredness. What is best for ME.

    To me they really don’t understand what is means to be a Christian and pick God’s laws to suit themselves.

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  6. Don says:

    All I remember about my mom was that she used to threaten to put a dress on me for punishment and for several Hollweens wanted to dress me up as a girl. I was afraid everyone would laugh at me so I refused.

    I was very young at that point, but as time went on the thought of it got me aroused and I started cding. There were a lot of other effects my mother had on me. She used to leave her underwear in the bathroom and of course I was drawn to them and of course had easy opportunities to experiment in private.

    Also my father was very mean to me so I did not want to be a man if that is what a man is. I liked the nature of mom much more and admired her every action. My dad never approved of any thing I did and would show me how faulty I was.

    So in my case not only was female good but male was bad. Even though mom emasculated me, it was a pleasant feeling, as you believe everything your parents tell you.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. thorin25 says:

    I had a good relationship with all of my family members, but my sister did dress me up in girls’ clothes sometimes. I don’t ever remember my mother doing so.

    But I have actually come across many stories like the stories both of you have shared. And I’m not talking about reading articles or stories of crossdressers, of which there are many. I’m talking about people I meet face to face in real life. Just a couple weeks ago, heard from one of my best friends that his mother used to put make up on him and treat him like a girl because she had wished to have a girl, and that when he got a sister, that treatment stopped. But each story is different because in his case, it didn’t seem to have affected him at all.

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  8. robmilliken says:

    Happy Friday Don! I relate so strongly to message to me Don, thanks! Seems like most of us cd’er’s start cd’ing as teens drawn to some new sexual experience. But for you and I it’s different. We started as kids and other factors besides just girls clothes influenced us. Like you Don my mom not only threatened to put me in either diapers or a skirt. Knew I couldn’t stop her anyway so I choose the skirt. Like you Don my Father had little to do with me until puberty and like you. I never quit reached his lofty masculine expectations, as a child right up to his death in 2006. And finally Don like you, I enjoyed and frankly admired my mom’s constant domination, micro management, and emasculating tendencies. We have much in common brother Don. Except that now I struggle spiritually with the realization that my mom is really a selfish person that deliberately tied me up in her apron strings. To eventually be used as just another part of her manipulations to exact revenge on my philandering father. Whom also had his little fun with my older step sister. So while those memories of being mom’s “little sissy” as she used to call me are still something I’ll take to my grave. My challenge is forgiving her Don. Mom’s reasons for feminizing me were life changing and have been thus far a life long burden. All to fulfill her one way hidden agenda. Anyway Don i’ll keep you in prayer, seems we’ve much in common let’s stay in touch?! My email is robmilliken@rocketmail.com, should you need to chat? Merry Christmas and God Bless, Rob

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