Happy new year! May this be a year of freedom for you as you give up crossdressing and find wholeness and peace in accepting you really are, as God made you to be. I figured the best way to start this new year would be to give you some testimonies to inspire you and give you hope, that change really can happen!
This quote really shows the dead-end of crossdressing, and of all harmful addictions. It can never satisfy:
“Except… I just needed to do something about my leg hair—it was spoiling the effect of the stockings. And the armpit hair had to go. (Pro tip: don’t ever try to wax your own armpits.) And the chest hair too. So much hair to remove! And now I needed some makeup to cover my stubble. And a few more bras. And some fake boobs, to put in them. And some padded pants, to give a bit of shape to my backside. And how was I going to give myself a waist? And I never had enough dresses, and they never looked good enough on me, and somehow I was struggling more than ever. The holy grail of acceptance had simply led me deeper into a trap. I’d embraced my desire, but it remained as unfulfillable as ever, and its demands were getting bigger every day.”
Another good quote – “I learned that sin promises freedom and brings only slavery—which seemed oddly familiar… And on it went. I thought my identity was rooted in how I looked or felt or dressed, but I learned that my identity was in Christ. I thought that exile was having to dress as a woman behind closed curtains, but I learned that all Christians are exiles and strangers in this life. I had thought that God didn’t want me to struggle, but I learned about spiritual warfare, I learned about the point of suffering, I learned about the freedom that comes from denying ourselves and taking up our cross. I learned that being a Christian requires repentance and change.”
Decisions about Gender Dysphoria – The Power of Choice – This was a really interesting testimony with some very worthwhile ideas in it. Unfortunately, this testimony is from the Mormon Church, which I happen to believe is a false church. It’s still good to read, especially since so few crossdressers believe it is possible to give up crossdressing. But I do have some serious issues with Mormon doctrine, and we have very different views about who Jesus is. But I don’t want to take time to argue about that right now (and I do think there are those within the Mormon church that might truly know Jesus, despite the false teachings of that institution as a whole). I think the easiest way to give up crossdressing is through having a true relationship with Jesus Christ. But even religious people that I disagree with can still give it up such as Nick who wrote this testimony, and even those with no faith at all, are still able to give it up.
Part of this testimony makes me sad. So much of it is about doing what God commands in order to be sure of eternal life. Eternal life is a gift of grace through Jesus Christ, not something we earn through good works. We do good works as a result of our free gift of salvation, we don’t do them out of fear trying to make sure we’ve been good enough.
Here are a couple helpful quotes though which can give all of us some good advice:
“I also learned I do not have to think in gender binary. Treating all actions, desires, and hobbies as masculine or feminine is a great source of stress. I do not have to think of gender at all for these things. I choose to define myself as Nick. I have many interests and desire to learn a variety of new skills. I do not care if they are considered masculine or feminine. They are what I like and I would do them if I were male or female. The qualities that make up who I am, I own. I do not let narrow social gender constructs determine my pursuits.
I have also found that gratitude is a great balancer of dysphoric distress. Instead of focusing on the body and life I do not have I think on the things I have been given. I have a good, healthy body with which I can serve God and my fellow man. This may not be the body I want, but I treat it with respect and maintain it because I want to be attractive and show gratitude. I am grateful for the family, friends, and opportunities I have been given. I do not need to focus on the things I do not have.”