About Me – Current

I am a Christian, a follower of Jesus Christ.  That defines my life.  I live to glorify God and enjoy him.  I look forward to Jesus returning and making this world new, and living with him forever.

I am a man.  I am married to a wonderful wife.  I am a pastor.  I enjoy the ministry very much.  I feel very passionate in my work and get great fulfillment from it.

I have struggled with crossdressing for most of my life, mostly as a fetish, possibly for other psychological reasons as well.  Some years ago I renewed my efforts to give up crossdressing for good, and have been going strong since, though not without periodic struggle.

I am a very deep thinker, and love to think about things in nuanced careful ways.  I like theory and big ideas, more than the details.  I am somewhat of an idealist.  I love studying the Bible, and that shapes my thinking on everything, including this issue of crossdressing.

Since the beginning of September 2011, I stepped up my effort to fight crossdressing and take it more seriously.  I have had very little crossdressing failures since that time.  It is wonderful feeling free!  And I give God all the credit.  Even though it felt like my own effort, I know that it was actually him working in me.  So praise the Lord for what he has done in my life.  It’s wonderful to finally be rid of crossdressing.

Some have questioned why I remain anonymous.  This is a good question (though it puzzles me that it usually comes from crossdressers who are also anonymous).  At some point I envision myself going public and revealing my true identity, but right now I do not think it is the right time.  I’ll let God guide me as to when the time is right.  In the meantime, keep in mind that the things I write about are of a very personal nature and I have revealed even my inner thoughts and past experiences.  I think it should be easy to see why I don’t need my church and all my friends and acquaintances to know all these private (many of them embarrassing) thoughts.  But I share them with you in order to be of help, and many people have thanked me for them.  If you have a problem with me not revealing my name and credentials, you can freely choose to ignore my site!  Preferably though, I would ask that you judge my posts on the content and strength of the arguments, rather than worrying about my background.  This blog is here for your benefit, but I am not claiming that I am a professional expert on these things.  Nor am I setting up this blog as a way to professionally counsel others.  But I hope that you may still find some help from my thoughts and opinions as a fellow traveler who is finding healing from crossdressing.

I go by the name “Thorin.”  Why?  Mostly because before I made this blog I began to comment on other blogs, and it was the name I used.  I originally picked it just because it came to mind quickly as I had just finished reading Tolkien’s “The Hobbit.”  It and the Lord of the Rings are some of my favorite books ever.  So there was a randomness to it.  But I appreciate that it reveals my love of Middle Earth!  I also think I am very much like Thorin in some ways.  I am a leader and have accomplished some great things, but I am also deeply flawed like Thorin and do struggle with pride as he did.  Thorin is a good character because he is realistic.  He is imperfect, as I am also.  I am a sinner, saved by God’s grace.

If you have any other questions for me let me know.

To read more about how I view life because of my faith go here – My Perspective.


*Please do not post your email in the body of the comment itself. It is important to protect yourself from spam and potential harassment by never publicly posting your personal information (such as your email address) on this or any other blog. Rest assured that I will keep your email address confidential.

102 comments on “About Me – Current

  1. nosillasite says:

    Clearly CD Wife, while you believe like you do I must say as a recovering alcoholic of 21 years, I take my addiction one day at a time. If you aren’t an addict, you absolutely have NO say on the addictive brain. Maybe as a victim of their actions, but certainly not proposing whether it’s a choice, etc.. Now this is something that I will have the REST of MY LIFE but I take it one day at a time and that’s how I stay sober.. Same with crossdressing I believe.. It’s a sexual addiction and taken one day at a time in a recovery program is the only way to recovery.. but pointing fingers and saying this is denial as he clearly stated his issues very eloquently, I feel you come across rather harsh about it and once again CDing Hurts, you will get every angle in this “group”… that’s why I don’t come here as often but once in a while I will see someone go through what I go through and find similarities.. It’s one of those things where you take what you need and you leave the rest. I believe in tough love, but I don’t believe in being in recovery and someone suggesting loving the blame game.. I left that behavior a long time ago… God Bless


  2. Eric says:

    I agree it did come across quite harsh even though I do see your point. Obviously in the end you are to blame for the choices you make but some situations are harder or more tempting than others and from experience, relationship problems do increase temptation.

    CDingHurts, thank you for contributing as I had been struggling in my mind recently and your testimony was a nice reminder of what kinds of trouble I avoid by continuing to resist the temptation and resist thinking lightly of it when I know how it makes me feel. I would encourage you to join the email group as Thorin suggested. The more the merrier 🙂


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