Email Prayer Group

We have created an email-based prayer group for Christians who are struggling with some sort of crossdressing desires, and for those of us who want to pray for those who are struggling.

If you reply on this page, I’ll get your email address.  (I suggest creating an anonymous email account first).  I will add you to our group.  I’ll send you an email with instructions.   Whenever you want immediate prayer or support when you are having a rough day or are feeling tempted, you just send us an email and we can all pray for you.  This group is also a way to get quick advice or encouragement if you need it.  By joining this group, you’ll get to hear good advice and encouragement from a lot of men besides me.

It’s not easy to find accountability and prayer partners in our real lives with this issue (though I have been blessed with four great men who have done this for me throughout my life).  This email-based prayer group has provided us with an excellent way to support each other in our common struggle.  A whole group of people that understand exactly what you are going through.

This prayer group is intended for Christians and for those who desire to resist crossdressing.  But if you have slightly different views, and still want to join the group for prayer and support, you are welcome to do so.

As more people sign up, I’ll add you to the group.  Again, for your security, I suggest using an anonymous email account.  I look forward to praying for you.

In Christ,
Thorin

*Please do not post your email in the body of the comment itself. It is important to protect yourself from spam and potential harassment by never publicly posting your personal information (such as your email address) on this or any other blog. Rest assured that I will keep your email address confidential.
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339 comments on “Email Prayer Group

  1. Lisa says:

    James, you must pray to the Lord for help. You’re at a dangerous stage now. Where you have gone from cross dressing in you home to presenting yourself in female attire in public. I’m frightened for you not just for the ridicule you will experience but possible violence against your person. You must stop crossdressing immediately before your feelings of wanting to be female escalate further. Please, please think about what you’re doing to yourself. I am praying for you to find the strength to overcome your CD addiction. Good luck James.

    Like

  2. James W Johnston says:

    Thanks for your insight. It is very helpful. 😎

    Like

  3. John says:

    Great website, I find your posts interesting and helpful.

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  4. thorin25 says:

    Thanks John, feel free to dialogue on specific posts

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  5. Eric says:

    Hi, Thorin. I would like to be added to the prayer group.

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  6. Ed says:

    Hi Thorin. I would like to be added to the prayer group

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  7. Cassy Lai says:

    Hi , I cd very often and I go out em femme at times, I had try to stop cding years ago very seriously but failed not working and coming back 10x stronger then before I tried. Still trying to stop with new ways I could lesson the desires I have.

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  8. CD wife says:

    Cassy Lai i’m a wife here and very sorry there hasn’t been a response for you. I can only offer to pray for you and i just know there is a way out of the dark for you. I suggest support is needed ie Sex Addicts Anonymous because with addiction connection is vital.
    Please keep checking back and hopefully a fellow sufferer will reach out to you Thorin will hopefully see your post.

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  9. thorin25 says:

    CDwife, thank you so much for that welcome to him. Thanks for looking out. But for all the people that sign up on the email prayer chain here, I email them directly, so he is now in the prayer group.

    Thank you for your prayers for him, me, and all of us!

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  10. CD wife says:

    You are welcome Thorin. We are all here for healing.

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  11. CD wife says:

    I’m curious as to why the prayer group is private. Could we all not benefit from it being shared in public ? It’s just a thought.

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  12. Temptedsinner says:

    CD wife
    I cant answer your question. I will tell you that I too wish that more guys would speak. The trials, tribulations, victories over temptations and our failures here for the world to see.

    Honestly from what I know not much goes on in the prayer chain either.

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  13. CD wife says:

    Yes Temptedsinner i always thought even the failures are so important to share. If you don’t then those who just browse may think “I’m not good enough”.
    If you look at this link for guys struggling with porn addiction they encourage each other https://www.reddit.com/r/pornfree/ .
    Thorin if you don’t want that link here i know you can just take it down. I’m just illustrating my point because i believe those struggling with CD addiction may have many slips and that’s ok as long as you get up again.

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  14. robmilliken says:

    Exactly, great question?

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  15. CD wife says:

    Your two kind responses to me begs the question how many are browsing but fear posting ? Things need to change to promote healing.
    Perhaps a thread about slips/relapses without triggering language is needed ? And it goes without saying no criticism just love encouragement and prayers.

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  16. thorin25 says:

    Tempted, glad to see you posted. You sent an email about a year ago to an old email address of mine, and I just responded recently once I finally saw it while checking the old email address. Please look through your emails to see my response.

    I think many fear to post because these days it’s really easy to trace internet connections, for hackers anyway, even when posting anonymously. I can understand that fear.

    Also, it is cumbersome to create an account to post. Though I haven’t done it in so long, I forget what you actually have to do. Actually people might only need an email address and typing a name to comment here. But again, people probably fear to let me see their email address. And even if they don’t fear that, it takes time to create an anonymous email account. And most people aren’t willing to spend that time when they still benefit from reading the posts without commenting.

    I really appreciate having the prayer chain private. Sometimes I share things there that I don’t share here for all the world to see. Just as I share things with my accountability partner and also my wife that I don’t share with the whole world, and yet I’ve shared a remarkable amount about myself on this blog. If I am that way, yet I share so much, than especially others who are more reserved want the private place to share. I wish the prayer group was more active, but it goes in spurts, and there are some regulars who continually check in. Also there is a lot of private interaction between people through the prayer group, that doesn’t even always get shared with that whole group.

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  17. CD wife says:

    I think the point that has been made by the guys and myself Thorin is as Tempted sinner said The trials, tribulations, victories over temptations and our failures here for the world to see would be good. Lack of this is the reason i believe few people post here. It’s so obvious to me and the amount of guys that post speaks for itself. If they feel safe enough to post in private re hackers then it would be ok for them to post here if they wished to.
    What is wrong with complete openness and honesty here for the world to see ? Many more could be helped .

    Like

  18. Eric says:

    Recently I can’t say I’ve been too concerned with what/where I’m sharing here as long as it’s mostly anonymous, as you know.

    But… I do believe that there is value in a safe place to share with a smaller circle of people who understand what you’re going through without it being open to the public. I would guess many of us keep this issue secret in our public lives and if we won’t talk about it with most people we know in person then why would we want to invite the whole world full of people who don’t “get it” to criticize us?

    Some do share their stories in comments occasionally and I think that those are the ones who might not mind the prayer group being public.

    Another thought: If the ones who do *not* share on the public comments but *do* share in the email group are relying on the group being private to want to share then making it public would risk losing all of those people.

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  19. Eric says:

    And just to say… I personally felt very threatened just at the thought of it *having* to be public. I’m willing to share more and in more detail when I know fewer people are listening. And I think that is true for some personality types like mine which is rather introverted. Again, I will sometimes comment with a thought here or there but for longer term following along with people, I really think it should be private.

    Maybe there is a case for a separate public version to stand alongside the private one? I question the value in that too though since even the “safe” version doesn’t get so much activity sometimes…

    Like

  20. thorin25 says:

    Every post and the whole blog is available for discussion. People can comment, discuss, ask for prayer, ask a question, confess, as much as they want. Why they don’t always do so, remains a mystery to me.

    I do know from talking to quite a few guys who successfully recovered from crossdressing addiction that they are doing well and don’t want to be thinking about CD all the time. Seriously, I have heard this from so many. That is at least part of the reason for lack of chatter. I am happy for those guys that they can go on and live life without thinking of this scourge. I would love their help in guiding and encouraging others, but they are doing what they need to do.

    For the guys in the prayer group who are still struggling, why they don’t talk more, I don’t know. Perhaps they are living in sin, and it’s tough to want to talk to others about it, easier to just keep failing. I don’t know.

    Like

  21. CD wife says:

    AA and Alanon say keeping secrets and keeping things in the dark keep us sick.
    You are all anonymous so there is no excuse for not having every thing open and talking about failures as well as successes.

    Like

  22. thorin25 says:

    CDwife, I respectfully disagree. I cringe to think of a world where everyone was expected to share as much as I do about themselves on the world wide web. There is a huge difference between keeping secrets and telling things to the entire world. People do not need to tell the world to get help, telling a few trusted people is enough. I totally agree about not keeping things in the dark. But you can bring things into the light without posting all about it on the web.

    I agree that there shouldn’t be fear to post here, because it is anonymous. But there shouldn’t be an expectation.

    As far as why people don’t post, we don’t know the answer unless people tell us. Some answers I’ve received in the past:

    – I was bullied, people are mean, pushy (get this especially from wives)
    – I am finally free from CD, and don’t want to think about it all the time. I’m moving on.
    – I know I should post more, but I don’t get around to it.
    – I’ve been too busy to keep up with the blog and the group

    Like you, I hope more people will start commenting or tell us why they haven’t been.

    Like

  23. Alec says:

    Alec here – Addicted to CDing and lifestyle,
    It’s been a long time since I posted. I still lurk around, more so of lately.
    I’m back in church and got rid of clothing articles. This summer I was alone, wasn’t attending church enough and following “progressive” doctrine. I had female clothing at home, had friends at a local resource center. You can read between the lines what happened.
    Anyhow a recent trip, back to the Midwest with family, cousins, then to stop in Oklahoma, see my wife (we will be back together next week).
    I attend both SA and SAA, tonight in my meeting I shared how I had spent the summer in lying and denial and that the only way one can begin recovery from a sexual addiction is by getting rid of the things, limiting, not allowing access to the things that cause us to act out and Higher Power – one can not be in any kind of 12 step recovery spiritual group and expect it to work without following some kind of religion. I shared, I’m Christian – and I don’t always like the doctrine of the church I go to and I don’t always listen and often don’t pray as I don’t really know what to pray about – plus I’m one of those believers of “God helps those who helps themselves.”
    But I’m back, I go to church, Wednesday nights and Sundays and have to admit it’s better than not going because recovery simply can not happen without it. Pretty simple.

    Like

  24. Eric says:

    I completely agree with Thorin on this and can testify from experience the effect of sharing with just one person.

    For almost 4 years I had a masturbation addiction that made me fear taking a shower every night just wondering if I was going to do it again, dreading the moment I would give in and hating myself for doing it. It was probably 3-5 nights a week that I gave in to it. I’ll skip the story of how it all got started but a year and 3 months ago when I finally told my girlfriend about it, it got instantly so so much better. I no longer feared it daily. I still slipped occasionally when depressed or something but in general I was doing much better. But I was incredibly afraid to tell her about it (especially because it was also coming after a few days of discussing all the CD stuff I was doing without her knowledge.. she knew about the CD but didn’t realize the extent of the issue or what I secretly did or looked up online, etc. I guess she didn’t think I would actively hide it in the early years and assumed if I didn’t mention it then I wasn’t doing it). Anyway my point is that it worked out so well even though I was so afraid and feeling forced to share with the whole world when just sharing with one person had such tremendous effect is kind of ridiculous.

    And Thorin I can echo the reasons you’ve stated of lack of time or not getting around to it… I think it’s somewhat of a coincidence that I’m so active at the moment and I wouldn’t be surprised if at some point I forget this place exists for a few months at a time… not sure really.

    Like

  25. CD wife says:

    This site is about recovery and if it’s recovery you want you should stay close and share often. This is aimed at no one in particular but for both sides of the fence.
    Sending healing thoughts.

    Like

  26. Caleb Ben Judah says:

    Gday cd wife
    Pls remember nagging only drives people away

    Sent from my iPhone

    Like

  27. Temptedsinner says:

    Thank you for supporting all of our recoveries, CDwife

    Like

  28. thorin25 says:

    I heard from another person that reading the blog can cause a downward spiral if this person is already doing well, because it brings the thoughts to mind. But reading the blog in times of temptation helps them to not give in. That’s why this person doesn’t comment all the time. And they keep praying for us even when not posting.

    Like

  29. thorin25 says:

    Alec, thanks for your comment. I emailed you already about your summer of failure. So glad God has brought you back and you are now telling the truth and doing the right things. God’s grace is full and wonderful.

    Now you need to do the right things so that the fall doesn’t happen again. I feel like it would be good for us to talk through more of your struggles with your church, doctrines, progressive views, etc.

    Like

  30. CD wife says:

    Praying for you Caleb Ben Judah .

    Like

  31. CD wife says:

    Thank you Temptedsinner for the encouragement. I work in the field of addiction so i know a little about the subject lol !!
    I see no difference between CD and any other addiction. You have to really want recovery and go to any lengths to get and keep it one day at a time. Any complacency or lack of work is taken at your peril. Isolation is one of the biggest threats which is one of the reasons i encourage folk to keep checking in here as the minimal thing for help.
    But i know full well it’s up to the individual i am powerless .
    All good wishes to you Temptedsinner.

    Like

  32. Temptedsinner says:

    Thank You!
    Question….. If you don’t mind and I am only curious
    Have you or do you have any addictions?

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  33. CD wife says:

    I am surrounded by Alcoholics in my family. But it is never a coincidence about who we choose to marry. I am a Co-dependant in recovery so in answer to your question yes.
    I have a question for you do you have any other addictions apart from CD there is usually more than one sadly and if you are married does your wife have addiction in her background ?
    It is said in ACOA if you are an adult child you will grow up to do one of three things. Become one yourself marry one or both. I have yet to find an exception to this.

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  34. Temptedsinner says:

    Yes I do,have additional addictions. My wife does not.

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  35. thorin25 says:

    I don’t have any other addictions. I have remarkable self-discipline and self-control in all other areas of my life. This is perhaps one of the reasons I’ve been successful in combating this sexual addiction, though my weakness in that area continually surprises me. But although I don’t have other addictions, I have an incredible amount of perfectionism and OCD. Those cause me issues sometimes, but God has given me great freedom and victory in that area as well. My wife does not have any addictions

    Like

  36. CD wife says:

    It can take years Thorin for some of those light bulb moments to recognise what addictions there are.

    Like

  37. Hypothetical Thought Battle says:

    Hey guys,

    I need some prayer, I’m feeling like I’ve lost my normal ability to reason. I have almost never pursued crossdressing but have had really intense desires to since I was young. When I say almost never, there were times when I was young and would make my boy clothes look like girl clothes (maybe once a year 7-16), also a time where I had mentioned I was struggling with thoughts and asked my wife to pray through it”, where she suggested I try on her clothes and process out loud what I felt for the sake of maybe uncovering some “Whys” – it was really weird, plus almost none of her clothes fit – I looked pretty ridiculous (we haven’t done it since).

    We decided we’d start talking through it more for the sake of processing and healing, I’ve also gone to counseling, I actively read the Bible and pray, I pray with my wife about it often, I’ve shared with friends that also pray with me when I’m going through thoughts… I’ve been vocal nearly every time I’ve struggled with CD so that it stays in the light. I feel the urges have only gotten more and more intense, (also one thing to note is that in my search for christian resources against Crossdressing, I’ve stumbled on other resources that are both for it, and take you to sites that give you more resources to do it). Recently I thought about dressing up for Halloween 2017 – my reasoning is that maybe because I’ve made “not giving in” a big deal all my life and haven’t ever fully dressed up, that maybe I’ll find that I don’t enjoy it. (I know it sounds crazy, but all my thoughts are hypothetical and literally never practiced). Maybe I’ll find I don’t like it and can move on?

    All that to say if I decide to do it, and it only fuels the CD fire (I figure it’s an 80/20 that it would) I feel like it would obviously bear only negative fruit in my life, or marriage, and in my identity.

    I also don’t at all mean to be crude, but I’ve been looking for what I’m supposed to do with this… and what God wants to do with it… Are there ways to subside the urges that are healthy, Is this something that can be pursue with my wife? Maybe role reversal in the bedroom? Again, I’m not at all trying to be crude, but I’m really looking for Christian answers that I know aren’t PRO Crossdressing, and get feedback from people who are pursuing healing.

    Like

  38. thorin25 says:

    Thanks for the comment. First of all, thank you for reaching out. You are in the right place.

    Second, please do not give up your resolve to not give in. Giving in will only solidify the desires for CD and make it that much harder to not give in in the future. You will only be cementing those sexual connections and feminine feelings and taking it one more step towards addiction. The Halloween experiment is not a good idea. Take that from me and tons of other ex-crossdressers associated with this site. Besides many clear reasons why it could be an awful idea, I can tell you that many times when I have crossdressed in the past, I felt foolish, and it was dumb, yet later I thirsted for it again. Or times where it was really pleasurable, but felt foolish and ashamed and stupid afterwards. Basically it’s not going to matter much how you feel when you do it. Whether you enjoy it or not, it’s probably only going to make your struggle with CD thoughts worse.

    I recommend, in answer to some of your questions, to read these two posts. You can read more of my posts later, but these get it at why crossdressing is harmful, and your question about what to do with the desires –
    https://healingcd.wordpress.com/2016/08/08/an-alternative-method-integration-and-contentment/
    https://healingcd.wordpress.com/2013/07/08/summary-of-why-crossdressing-is-sinfulharmful/

    Since you are a Christian, let me remind you what the Bible says about sin. We are all tempted to sin, and we will continue to be, until Jesus comes back. We can’t always expect to find resolution of those desires and temptations. It may be a life long struggle, but that does not logically entail that you should give up struggling and give in, in contrast to what so many others say online. https://healingcd.wordpress.com/2012/02/05/healing-doesnt-mean-no-more-temptations/

    If you want to figure out some of the “whys” I wouldn’t recommend further dressing. Instead, there are hundreds of blog posts you can read of where I have explored that question, tons of other blogs by similar people, and hundreds of articles. I do think it is helpful to understand some of the “whys” so that you know why you are desiring CD and can choose something else instead with a good understanding.

    About the marriage idea, take some time to read past comments from wives of crossdressers – https://healingcd.wordpress.com/wives-of-crossdressers-chat/
    You will find dozens or hundreds of failed marriages because of CD, on this site alone. In addition, you will discover that many wives went along with it at the beginning, for role-playing, or for fun, but in the end, it made them repulsed by their husbands, and they could never get the memories out of their minds. Further, the husbands “fun” turned into addiction, and in many cases all out transsexuality, living as women and expecting their wives to go along with it.

    Your best bet for healing is by not giving in, focus on loving your wife and her body, and focus on other things when the thoughts come.
    https://healingcd.wordpress.com/2012/03/18/12-steps-to-stop-crossdressing/

    Would you like to join this prayer group? Comment again if you would like to.

    I will pray for you right now – “Lord Jesus, thank you for this man who has come to comment here. I ask that you guide him by your Holy Spirit to see the truth about sin, temptation, and crossdressing. Strengthen his resolve to not give in and crossdress or experiment. Strengthen his marriage. Build up love and passion between him and his wife. Fill him with joy in you Jesus, joy at his salvation, and joy of living life for you. Let him not be distracted from purposeful life by these thoughts. Give him power to take the thoughts captive and dismiss them, focusing on things that please you instead. Give him hope, give him all that he needs, heal him and give him freedom. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”

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  39. Temptedsinner says:

    Dear Hypo,
    Do yourself, your wife and your marriage a favor and DO NOT engage in any experimentation of cross dressing or role reversal. The world and the internet in general will tell you that it is OK, that you should indulge so that you can find the real you. That is a bunch of bull crap!

    The real you is sitting right there! God is already speaking to your heart and therefore you know the answer.

    Your circumstance does seem a little unusual because YOU HAVE HAD THE STRENGTH TO RESIST up to this point. The Lords hand is on your shoulder. Don’t shrug it away!

    This affliction is a lion whose thirst is NEVER quenched and must be held at bay. In my case it has consumed me. With each personal barrier that I have had, that I crossed, I always wanted more. Crossing the threshold into deeper depravity.

    This blog of Thorin’s is one of the very few resources against crossdressing. I encourage you to take his advice above.

    Praying for you
    Temptedsinner

    Liked by 1 person

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